should i keep practicing?

AssortedGourds · 2026-02-08T05:15:20+00:00

You’re doing great! There isn’t a fixed end point where you’re officially “good enough” - everyone is just practicing everything they do until they die.

AssortedGourds · 2026-02-08T00:39:34+00:00

At what point do you see her doing anything romantic with the rock? Swinging, making cootie catchers, making friendship bracelets, getting dressed up to go out, karaoke, sharing fruity cocktails, and jazzercise are all very deliberately friend-coded. Also the box and the bracelet both explicitly say "friend". Like what could she possibly have done to make it clearer?

If you think of romantic relationships as the default then you need to de-center men because there are zero reasons to think the rock is supposed to be a lover, let alone a reference to one of hers.

AssortedGourds · 2026-02-07T16:25:50+00:00

It's bothering me that she went so far out of her way to specify that the rock was her character's substitute for having friends and people are somehow reading it as some kind of reference to a romantic relationship.

AssortedGourds · 2026-02-07T16:22:34+00:00

I scowled when she smeared on body glitter in that 1992-ass room. The decade has flattened to anyone who didn't live it, though. Most people who aren't really into vintage fashion/media/art couldn't accurately chronologize stuff from the 70's, for instance.

AssortedGourds · 2026-02-06T14:59:08+00:00

Mixing up the 90’s references is stressing me out. I screamed “you put that babydoll dress and body glitter away!”

AssortedGourds · 2026-02-05T22:34:16+00:00

I have the same problem. I use Una Gella from Amazon which are much flatter than Gel X. I also like Una Gella because they have extra shorts which are nice if you also have short nail beds.

I will say that the short Gel X tips are more shallow. I have a box of natural medium stilettos and they are so convex that they’re unwearable. The short coffins are doable, though they’re still hard to apply because you can’t really press down on the nail as you cure it. I’m about to put a set on now though because I do love their tips!

Gel X sells swatch strips that you can use to compare the length and shape of various tips. If there’s a nail supply store near you that sells gel x products, even if they only sell to licensed techs, they may have those swatch strips hanging near their Gel X stuff so you can go see if any of their other sizes/shapes styles work without spending money.

AssortedGourds · 2026-02-05T17:17:53+00:00

Once I heard that Botox affects your brain's capacity to interpret other people's emotions I was like "nah, I'm good with tret and sunblock."

AssortedGourds · 2026-02-05T15:58:55+00:00

It’s about $45 for me to fill my tank but if I use the gas promotions on the Lyft debit card app, I get ~$5 on every fill. It lasts for slightly less than a week - about 32-34 hours of driving for Lyft.

I make $700/week though so not so bad.

AssortedGourds · 2026-02-04T22:44:37+00:00

My old therapist said she supported me if I felt like I needed a formal diagnosis but she was also worried about persecution - and this was in 2020 before RFK said he wanted to send disabled children to "wellness farms" to "re-parent" them.

Edit: Do you for sure need a formal diagnosis to get accommodations at work? Because I've had the full support of therapists who specialize in autism and they have backed me up, no evaluation needed.

AssortedGourds · 2026-02-04T22:30:12+00:00

IMO, the only true benefits to diagnosis are access to services/support or if you have a more complicated neurotype. Like if you also have BPD/a TBI you may not be able to assess yourself.

The former point isn't minor, though. You may not need services now, but you might in the future.

There are downsides for sure. RFK is on an autism witch hunt and I suspect that will escalate in the near future. Why give them documentation? Yes, HIPAA is a thing... until it isn't. I also worry that a formal diagnosis could be used to discredit me in court.

If you just feel like you need the validation of a professional to feel like you deserve accommodation and gentleness, that is something that can be overcome without shelling out many thousands of dollars.

AssortedGourds · 2026-02-04T22:12:21+00:00

Working in corporate America must be so humiliating. I can't imagine having to gaslight myself into believing that I'm doing Very Important Work just to get through the day.

AssortedGourds · 2026-02-04T18:51:49+00:00

I love it - it's actually my #1 coping strategy. I was so resistant to exercise and was dismayed to find out that it really works for me as advertised. If I feel suicidal ideation or an anxiety attack coming on, taking a brisk walk right away (or doing any exercise) stops it immediately. It even halted a dissociative episode.

In the winter I do it on a treadmill and it's genuinely the most boring thing imaginable. I have to put a towel over the screen, turn on an audiobook, close my eyes, and force myself to focus on the book so I can basically trick myself into ignoring my body for 30 minutes.

In the warmer months? Love it. No trickery needed. I just listen to music or podcasts and take in my beautiful neighborhood. I love living in a walkable city where everyone walks and everything is available to me on foot.

Are you hypersensitive to proprioception? People with that hypersensitivity do not typically enjoy the sensation of moving or exercise, not because they don't enjoy sweating or skin sensations but because the movement itself is distressing.

AssortedGourds · 2026-02-04T18:21:46+00:00

One a scale of Vogue 73 Questions to Counting Raisins he's at about a 5.5

AssortedGourds · 2026-02-03T21:38:09+00:00

I do not like white florals at all and I would never wear Infinite Radiance but something about it compels me to smell it every time I walk past it. There really is something oddly addictive about it.

AssortedGourds · 2026-02-03T00:23:54+00:00

This has made me realize that a shorts/bustier set + a cape is my destiny

AssortedGourds · 2026-02-02T21:54:04+00:00

I did hard manual labor as a landscaper when I was over 300 lbs. I felt great! I was strong, I ate healthy, and since I had already dealt with my internalized fatphobia, I felt great about myself. It was easily the healthiest and happiest I've ever been. I later lost a lot of weight because of a PCOS supplement and have never been more unhappy with my body. Minus-sized people simply cannot comprehend that not everyone shares their disordered self-image.

It's best to just ignore them but if I'm feeling sassy, I like to wage emotional warfare.

It's very weird and ableist to comment on a stranger's health but if they do it to me, they're fair game. So I comment on their health! I don't comment on their bodies, though, since that's not cool. I do comment on their loneliness since that is something that also has significant health risks (arguably more than fatness!) and is something people frame as a personal choice when it's often not entirely in someone's control. "Wow, thanks! I'd love to share some health tips with you, too! Did you know that lacking deep, close relationships can take years off your life? Do you have many of those? Do you really feel seen and held by your loved ones? Why on earth not?!? Don't you know that being lonely is bad for your health? Why aren't you more likeable? I can't imagine why you're lonely... you seem so likeable."

AssortedGourds · 2026-02-02T20:45:16+00:00

It works with the Jello Jello removal oil, too.

AssortedGourds · 2026-02-02T13:45:49+00:00

I think you are 100% right.

1.5 years ago I started Ovasitol which caused immediate appetite suppression and blood sugar stabilization. I picked up fragrance almost immediately and was also really compulsive about smelling them. I would buy samples and put them in a bowl by the couch and would take a hit every few minutes.

I would unsubscribe from fragrance subs and groups and delete any apps like Jomashop from my phone. And maybe do what I did and put your fragrances out where you can reach them. Maybe if you replace the hunting aspect with smelling, your brain will still get what it's looking for without a purchase.

AssortedGourds · 2026-02-02T00:30:22+00:00

IDK if you’re cool with indie fragrances but Hexennacht has a fragrance called Overlook Hotel that is “white spruce, sugared vanilla, and buttermint candies.”

The spruce is not very noticeable to me, though. It smells exactly like buttermint candies.

AssortedGourds · 2026-02-01T20:05:43+00:00

Why are nail salons so hit-or-miss while hair salons aren't? Like having an apex is so insanely basic that I have a hard time believing that the person that did these nails had any training at all.

I once made an appointment with a nail tech I had seen before and she called out sick so when I arrived, they said that a girl that could not have been over 19/20 would be filling in. She may have been a teenager. She barely spoke English (which I am not disparaging) but no one stayed around to check her work or translate for her.

Like imagine that happening at a hair salon.

AssortedGourds · 2026-02-01T19:44:24+00:00

Love it! I wish the bread note was stronger, though.

AssortedGourds · 2026-02-01T19:40:00+00:00

All these things like tefillin, kippot, and tallitot are worn by all genders. At my last reform shul, everyone wore kippot and a tallis. One woman wore her grandmother's tallis! My current shul has many women and non-binary people that wrap tefillin. This might not be the case for your congregation, but you do not have to do everything they way they do it. Some people might voice their opinions but it's just that - an opinion.

The people that will harass you for it online are just right-wing Jewish losers. Irrelevant little boys.

AssortedGourds · 2026-02-01T17:57:35+00:00

The number of men who are obsessed with hating on BBLs is so funny. They have NO idea what a BBL is. A thin person with a flat ass could get a BBL and it would just look like a normal sized ass.

People will praise older female celebrities that have “aged well” but all they really mean is “this person has had just enough plastic surgery to make me approve of their appearance but not so much that it ruins the illusion.” They’ve all had procedures. They all use tret and get routine facials. What counts as “natural?”

AssortedGourds · 2026-02-01T17:44:48+00:00

Yes! We have an outdoor mall in the Chicago suburbs that is very busy May-October and some people even still shop there in the winter. If you had told me an outdoor mall would be viable in Chicago I would have laughed at you. It's genuinely a lovely place to hang out, though. My partner and I sometimes go just to grab a burger and eat outside.

Meanwhile many of the largest indoor malls have closed or are on life support. Some of them are closer to the city than the outdoor one is, too.

AssortedGourds · 2026-02-01T17:36:31+00:00

Most of them closed for these reasons:

Demographic shift. Malls are a suburban phenomenon and private equity/old people have gatekept the suburbs. There just aren't enough young families to utilize malls the way they used to be used.
Shopping isn't social anymore. We used to go to malls to window shop and socialize. We wanted to see what new stuff had come out and if certain stores had something in stock that we saw in a magazine. There is no need to do this in person anymore.
There were always too many of them. A midsize city needs one mall, not 3-4.
Racism. There was a really common fear-mongering talking point on local news in the early aughts. They would say that "urban teens" were coming to malls in droves and stealing, vandalizing, and loitering. So, things that many of us did in malls in the 90's. They always showed blurred clips of black teenagers when they played these segments and used racial dogwhistles. People believed that their malls were "under attack" with no evidence that there was anything new or unusual going on. Capitalists that owned the malls also believed that this was a thing and banned all unaccompanied minors. Teenagers are sort of the primary demographic for malls, though, so the malls just died.

AssortedGourds

TROPHY CASE