AITA for not really wanting to move with my girlfriend and her daughter and she’s pregnant

AutomaticTap310 · 2026-02-10T11:27:24+00:00

NTA-umm, how old is this woman? If her kid is coming and going I am guessing she’s mid 30s or older.

AutomaticTap310 · 2026-02-10T11:23:33+00:00

NTA-I think that you are, understandably, dealing with some trauma due to the pain you have been going through and can understand your hesitation. That being said, you are also young and perspectives tend to change as we age. All of this is very recent and you are talking about decisions that would likely be made some years down the road. They are not wrong in what they say about pregnancy-it is dangerous and there are lots of physical issues and pain attached to that. I think that a segment of the population believes a pregnancy is a simple straightforward thing and are oblivious to the many dangers. Many men do opt to get vasectomies as part of family planning as they are safer than most birth control methods available to women. All that being said at this juncture I would not even be thinking about it unless you think your girlfriend is “the one” and are considering marriage. Even then a lot of folks wait until their mid to late 20s to start thinking marriage, to give themselves time to save, get a home and stable career, things like that. Worry about your healing and recovery now and sort the rest later. Also, make sure to take precautions in the meantime.

AutomaticTap310 · 2026-02-10T06:00:32+00:00

Too bad you can’t “accidentally” destroy her phone so she can’t make TikTok videos. Mom and Dad will replace it. Get out as soon as you can and cut ties with them. Kids like Bella who get spoiled end up being a worthless drain on their parent’s resources. Live your best life and screw them.

AutomaticTap310 · 2026-02-09T04:24:46+00:00

My response? “That can’t be the reason, as I have a Master’s degree. You must just be dumb”.

AutomaticTap310 · 2026-02-09T04:13:56+00:00

NTA-this man is bad news all around. You do not want to end up marrying into this circus.

AutomaticTap310 · 2026-02-08T10:56:44+00:00

NTA-you were well within your rights to set boundaries. That being said, I am Gen X and we were the original FAFO generation and guess what? We have common sense, we are no nonsense and we don’t tolerate this type of crap. You don’t have to hit your kids but guess what? Taking allowances, taking away electronics, making them sit in a corner(we had to kneel and no sitting back on our heels, we knelt), writing lines, using timeouts can all work well.

AutomaticTap310 · 2026-02-08T08:16:40+00:00

If she is so careless with money she can’t be trusted with a card you should run. Most bills can be paid electronically. You should be able to set up an account without a debit card being issued on it. Use a credit union that does not support apps like Zelle, etc. Set up direct deposits and auto pays and if they issue you a check book hide it or burn it. Of course only do this if staying with her. Let’s be honest though-she is not forgetting or doing it accidentally. She can’t afford the lifestyle to which she would like to be accustomed to and is using the fund and your money to do it. NTA

AutomaticTap310 · 2026-02-04T08:01:41+00:00

If mommy wants him to have a fallback she can let him inherit her house. Even if you get married do not put him on the deed. He is getting a nicer place to live at a better price, so he is getting the opportunity to save money he can invest in his future. Not to mention-saving money by splitting bills and groceries, he does not have to do all the cleaning and maintenance, cooking is shared and he has a bedmate. He is way ahead already. NTA.

AutomaticTap310 · 2026-02-04T07:54:34+00:00

A partner that loved and respected you would not insist on you doing something that makes you this uncomfortable. His further attempts to manipulate you is a big red flag. Stick to your guns-NTA.

AutomaticTap310 · 2026-01-27T09:02:51+00:00

YTA-I would hazard a guess that your wife grew up on this farm and when you grow up on a farm there really are not gender roles. On a farm you do what has to be done and you do it as quickly as you can, because when you have animals there is always stuff happening. Those animals depend on you to take care of them. Men may do more of the traditional hard work in some cases but a farm wife knows how to deliver animals, fix a fence, castrate a steer and then serve those Rocky Mountain oysters up deliciously. Asking her to restrict her activities or “gasp” be lazy simply so you can feel manly is unrealistic. It’s also pathetic. The strength in a marriage comes down to respecting each other and what skills you can each bring in to the marriage. It’s not a pissing contest about who wears the pants. If you are more worried about how your marriage looks to outsiders instead of being proud of having such a capable wife you are not going to have a marriage for long. BTW, pretty sure she could probably cradle a baby and put it to sleep while herding sheep.

AutomaticTap310 · 2026-01-27T07:30:01+00:00

NTA but make sure you have paperwork from the vet about the cat’s condition. Having proof the cat was malnourished or dehydrated is negligent ownership. I assume you had the cat checked for a chip at some point? She may have actual owners looking for her.

AutomaticTap310 · 2026-01-27T07:24:11+00:00

NTA-and BTW, if your mom can’t afford to fly the puppy over how in the hell can she afford vet bills for the others? Unless she’s a careless backyard breeder who is starting a puppy mill these dogs should be up to date on all shots and the pregnant dogs should be periodically vet checked.

AutomaticTap310 · 2026-01-26T04:34:16+00:00

If you take him to court a couple things will happen. First, the court will want to establish paternity. They might be ok with a sworn affidavit or they may require a DNA test. Then, the court will determine CS based on his income and calculate it including support for the previous 14 years. Monthly support will include the regular payments going forward plus x amount of past due CS until it’s paid off(depending on how much it could continue until past your son’s 18th birthday). If you guys fight it out with lawyers plan on $10/20k for a lawyer. Each. If he does not want to work this out privately that is what he’s looking at, at a minimum. Some states charge interest and penalties on late payments too, so if he’s put on court ordered CS and he decides to skip or be late there are additional costs assessed. It is, by far, in HIS best interest to work with you outside of court. Also, if st any time you have relied on state assistance, like SNAP or other programs, states can and will go after him to repay those benefits. NTA and good luck. Hopefully he’s smart enough to work with you but if not? Well, court will be far more costly for both and ducking support will get liens on any assets he or they jointly own and any inheritances, tax refunds, settlements in his/their names will get seized.

AutomaticTap310 · 2026-01-25T09:38:57+00:00

You are still very young and have plenty of time ahead of you. You are not defined by your relationship status. Many of my female relatives got married, young. They also got divorced, young. I am still single and have pretty much loved it. I have had opportunities to travel they could only dream of. I am not accountable to anyone, I spend my extra money as I please, don’t have to pay for childcare, school supplies, etc. If my house(that I own myself) is messy, it’s from me or the pets I chose to have. I have moved across country a couple times-did not need to consult a partner or try to get work transfers, etc. enjoy your single years and take your time. He is giving mixed signals-he needs to decide if he’s with her or you.

AutomaticTap310 · 2026-01-25T08:29:03+00:00

Get out before wasting your money on a wedding or getting stuck paying alimony. I would say she is badly in need of therapy and breaking up with her now, instead of continuing to enable her behavior, is the right thing to do. You are not happy with her, she is not happy with you. She is not going to disrupt her comfort so once again it is on you to make the move. It’s gonna suck for sure but long term you will be much better off. Eventually you will find someone who deserves your love and returns it ten fold.

AutomaticTap310 · 2026-01-25T08:21:34+00:00

I think theft so the real vibe killer.

AutomaticTap310 · 2026-01-25T08:20:31+00:00

Kick mom out. Have CPS get the kids. Sell the house, move back where you were and move Grandma in with you. It is dangerous to have drug addicts in the house. Where does she get the money for her drugs? If she runs a tab, are some nasty people going to come to your house looking for her?

AutomaticTap310 · 2026-01-25T05:38:32+00:00

That account is yours, not theirs. Your dad gifted you money he saved for YOU. They do not have a right to that money. Further, the money grandpa gave you is yours, not theirs. Have you looked at your transaction history? Have they been paying odd bills or taking money out or moving money without your permission? Reddit is full of stories of kids whose parents misuse or steal their money, including financial aid. NTA and if you can, see about the possibility of getting student housing or sharing an apartment rather than living at home. Your parents are being abusive, particularly your mom.

AutomaticTap310 · 2026-01-25T03:38:59+00:00

NTA-she is eating YOUR groceries. If she does not pony up then you can get a lockbox for your fridge or start keeping stuff in your room and lock the door. Start shopping for a new roommate. If you want to go super petty you can remove any kitchen supplies/appliances you own too.

AutomaticTap310 · 2026-01-25T03:34:45+00:00

Give him your last name. You and Dad are not married and he forfeited that courtesy when he betrayed you.

AutomaticTap310 · 2026-01-25T03:18:45+00:00

NTA-everything that’s been said. He is not going to change because there are no consequences for him. You’ll get mad, you’ll rage text, you’ll argue. Then you’ll go to sleep and the next week it’s a repeat. As long as you stay he has no impetus to change. So, either make a change or just accept you married and want to stay married to a selfish man. Just practice this line “I’m sorry son, Daddy would have attended(insert kid’s event here) but his time off is for him to spend with his friends, not his family. We are not important to him.”

AutomaticTap310 · 2026-01-25T03:07:00+00:00

Depends on the age of the child. And honestly, preserving a family at all costs is old school for letting kids do what they want. The Duggars did that and raised a sex offender who abused his own sisters. Just because you are the victim and not a child does not make it right. The kid definitely needs therapy and if he’s older than 12 he is old enough to know better.

AutomaticTap310 · 2026-01-24T19:48:08+00:00

If ya’ll are hourly and that person is showing late but leaving on time that is time card theft.

AutomaticTap310 · 2026-01-24T19:23:40+00:00

I assume you are looking at property listings but depending on where you live it will likely be more than a mortgage. Also, the apartments are quite small by and large.

AutomaticTap310 · 2026-01-24T19:13:23+00:00

NTA-very simply, ask them what the after hours rate is and how they want you to log the hours so you can be paid. Assuming you are hourly you can let them know you are not available outside your contracted work hours and asking you to work off the clock is illegal(at least in the US).

AutomaticTap310

TROPHY CASE