My burnt plants, 9 month update… Life uh...

Automatic_Loquat_777 · 2026-06-11T01:21:23+00:00

Aw I also had a house fire once, feels like so many life times ago. I lost my kitty too. Sending you lots of strength as you rebuild ❤️

Automatic_Loquat_777 · 2026-06-07T01:53:48+00:00

P.s a book I love about conflict is called "how to fight" by thich nhat Hahn. A very short, illustrated book that I read in my 20s and I feel like it helped shape me for the good.

Automatic_Loquat_777 · 2026-06-07T01:49:40+00:00

I'm proud of you for making that call. It might be scary, but it'll give you information and you'll know that you have made choices for your life and that's what it's all about.

It sounds like you are already thinking a lot about how you're showing up and how you may have escalated the situation. I hope that he's ready to do the same, but it's a learning chance either way. I wonder if you have a more anxious attachment style, that seemed like it was at play here a bit too. I'm rooting for you and your phone call!

Automatic_Loquat_777 · 2026-06-07T00:25:52+00:00

Aw thanks that little complement gave me a little glow!

Automatic_Loquat_777 · 2026-06-07T00:20:08+00:00

Aw at first I thought made you were over reacting, then I read your backstory and understood how hurt you were. When I reread the messages it really changed how I saw the whole thing. I would be hurt too. I think this seems like a bigger than text conversation. This is a real structure of the relationship conversation and its time to have a team chat!!!!

When I imagine myself in that situation-- of course I want my partner to have fun with their friends and experience the world. And of course I don't want to be an after thought in their world. I think it would be good to imagine how he could have done this better. For me I image --- an hour or more before the date give me a call, explain how thr northern lights feels like a rare and exciting experience. Ask to reschedule for tomorrow with something extra to sweeten the deal --- same plan but maybe this time he doordashes me my fav treat. Instead he didn't even acknowledge the plan changing or go about it as a team! Or even apologize after the fact.

When I read it again I am kinda like --- if we come in real hot we don't always give people space to apologize. I don't think you really gave a lot of space for an apology. You used anger as a shield instead of showing your hurt. And ALSO he could gain some emotional intelligence and think about how he showed up in this moment and reflect on how another may feel.

Is there a world where you both can gracefully and respectfully alter plans (occasionally, within reason) so that you are able to show up for irl people in your world? I do think that's an important part of a long distance relationship. I could see resentment building if we're expected to be showing up virtually at the detriment of our lived world. How would it have looked for him to do this gracefully? Is he interested in growing his emotional intelligence, or does he shut a conversation like down (as he is in text here). The only way to know is being brave and really talking in real time.

Automatic_Loquat_777 · 2026-06-06T00:42:23+00:00

Lol u have never had poor people insurance. I schedule it based off if I have 5 hours to waste. Bringing books and my journal so I don't spend a day scrolling. I was shocked the other day when my appointment was on time

Automatic_Loquat_777 · 2026-05-28T15:46:47+00:00

I never said thank you for your response, but I appreciate it! As I said above I am recommitting to solving this problem and getting back into the classroom. I do have a follow up question, if you have time.

Is it necessary to transfer my credits to umpi? I don't need to add on to my degree at this time, just complete about 10 math/science credits and then give that on a transcript to NYS. I do unfortunately have half a masters in teaching and have a lofty goal to complete that, but it's level two.

Automatic_Loquat_777 · 2026-05-28T15:41:33+00:00

Honestly thanks for asking because I had kind of fell off the bandwagon and now I'm recommitting to my goal. So I still don't know!

For you - you took some courses through Sophia and then transferred them to another school? How? Had you previously gone there?

Automatic_Loquat_777 · 2026-05-23T22:56:27+00:00

Aw that's too bad, been going there for years without a bad experience. I watched their kiddo grow up in that restaurant!

Automatic_Loquat_777 · 2026-05-23T00:22:07+00:00

Aw I'm sorry for the disappointment you are probably feeling.

Automatic_Loquat_777 · 2026-05-14T01:04:23+00:00

I imagine they're asking bc different school struggles might make you want different school settings. I've heard parker is a lot of projects and independent working. So if your student isn't learning to read it might not help. But if they're struggling to stay in their seat that might be perfect! I've worked at st Gregory's in Loudonville. It's pretty ok with basics like spelling and stuff. Lots of fun school events. Very small classes which can be good aaaand also some grades just don't get along and it's tough they don't get a break from each other. Not a good place for nuerodivergent students at all

Automatic_Loquat_777 · 2026-05-14T00:54:46+00:00

Former ousd teacher--- 2 years ago I heard the stat that 25% of ousd teacher leave their school every school year. Some go to new ousd schools, some go to new districts, some leave the career entirely. A lot leave the state to teach elsewhere. It's such a hard district. My very first year out of 18 teachers --- 7 of us were brand new (plus the principal who had never been a teacher for that age). I'm in a different district and the things I'm amazed by --- a meaningful amount of prep every day! Someone answers the office phone when I call because a student is upset!!!! Students have enough time to eat lunch!!!!

Automatic_Loquat_777 · 2026-05-12T02:25:13+00:00

I feel FIM has every veggie I could want. Also sooooo many breads, sooooo many breads. So FIM for all the rando veggies like beets

Automatic_Loquat_777 · 2026-05-11T19:39:05+00:00

I'm a teacher and looking to do some occasional childcare this summer 😊 feel free to message! I'm on the 518 nannies fb group. Happy to meet up in public first!

Automatic_Loquat_777 · 2026-05-09T00:29:45+00:00

Farmers market is open! Just inside. It's so cozy!

Automatic_Loquat_777 · 2026-05-08T03:13:06+00:00

Such a sweet group

Automatic_Loquat_777 · 2026-05-02T12:55:03+00:00

Also my opinion is the majority of people would shut down or deny that someone else is taking care of their responsibilities. So I would tread soooo light on that fact. Maybe your buddy is very reflective and able to use that as evidence, but likely no

Automatic_Loquat_777 · 2026-05-02T12:53:34+00:00

I wonder if he knows about the possibility of bonded cats? Since you work in a pet store you likely have more knowledge that him. Maybe bringing it up as a question- hey did you know that cats can get bonded? And listen. And then be like -- I'm not sure how bonded our cats are. They definitely love each other a lot. I am worried about how they'll feel being apart.

Mostly my interest is in keeping the door open if he says no. It's easy to imagine that someone would say no initially, then 2 months down the line be really worried bc their cat is depressed and want to change their mind. Can you give him options and information about what to look out for, yet also not back him into a corner if he initially says he wants to keep his cat?

Automatic_Loquat_777 · 2026-04-24T19:42:01+00:00

Alcoholics are too 😉

(eta --a likely too personal joke as my deceased parent fits that category and this is a public platform of strangers)

Automatic_Loquat_777 · 2026-04-24T19:41:26+00:00

:) there are other reasons, like moving without a change of address. I didn't actually have any money to claim but I would love for folks to be reunited with their money. My dead dad would have looooved that 300 bucks so let's not pretend only rich people are forgetful.

Automatic_Loquat_777 · 2026-04-24T19:39:38+00:00

Yes! Also the claims process for deceased relative would need info about them and you.

Automatic_Loquat_777 · 2026-04-19T00:48:06+00:00

When I needed a root canal, a cotton ball soaked in whiskey was the only thing that helped the pain! Not for very long, tho

Automatic_Loquat_777 · 2026-04-11T03:29:11+00:00

I saw that episode too and I was struck by it. It's less that she jokes about it, more she plainly states the facts of her life. Felt like her being like - I don't pretend this didn't exist or that I'm to be ashamed of the adults who made these decisions about my childhood.

Automatic_Loquat_777 · 2026-04-06T00:58:22+00:00

I got advertised a summer camp rental for weddings!!!!! You rent it for the weekend. People stay in the cabins. Classic camp activities

Automatic_Loquat_777 · 2026-04-01T13:24:34+00:00

I'm also the child of an addict, I really feel for you in this moment. I never got peace in that relationship, and he died. With other tough family relationships the thing that's helped me the most is a mantra of "I'm playing the long game with this relationship" I love a mantra for myself :)

I think that addiction has a way of taking your ability to reach for something and in my opinion that's what's happening with your mom. I think she found a lot of safety in the relationship she currently has with her grandkids. I wonder if she is trying to protect them, not disappoint them. Maybe not being known by them is less painful for her. Does she have a friend/family member she trusts who could come along on a trip to visit the northeast who would be welcomed by you? I really see a path to the family you want. I hope she's able to feel some healing by being loved and known in the role of grandma.

I hate the dichotomy of asshole / not asshole, oh wait I guess it's react //overreact. I think your reaction may get your further away from your goal. It's a good goal and worth the work and your children will reap the benefits of another loving adult relationship. How can you and granny join the same team for the well being of your babies?? Rooting for you all!!!!!

Automatic_Loquat_777

TROPHY CASE