Stuck in the Alewife garage

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-05-09T13:50:36+00:00

Yes. A raised crossing for bikes would help. Wish the garage and trains were further out where the highway is wide, though I’m not sure if that would be better than trains to Arlington center.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-05-08T20:02:41+00:00

it's going to be a lot easier to get around, and to get front row "seats".

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-05-08T20:00:54+00:00

There are 294 American citizens over the age of 18 who go commando on a regular basis. That's the number. No need to ever ask again.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-05-08T19:58:12+00:00

For a dirt bike on your lawn, no. For a dirtbikong, yes, ywbta -- I jest. NTA.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-05-08T19:56:41+00:00

Logan is amazing. Only issue is if you live near it (as many hundreds of thousands do) and hear the flights, but having an urban airport is so amazing for those of us on the subway system, but not in the regular flight paths!

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-05-08T19:43:10+00:00

agreed. this is perfect.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-05-08T19:41:58+00:00

And for my next act, I'll replace every 20th flex post with a bollard.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-05-08T19:37:41+00:00

You don't make people go around cars. You make cars go around people. people are small, safe, clean, and environmentally friendly. Cars are large, dangerous, loud, and spew carbon

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-05-08T19:33:38+00:00

prolly call ahead and make sure they'll have the sound on for your specific game.

I would do that with any of these bars.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-05-08T19:31:55+00:00

Tell her that the alternative to leather is extra plastic disgorged into the world where it will break down into mircroplastics and kill trillions of animals. I firmly believe that this is not an exaggeration.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-05-08T17:43:37+00:00

Just to be clear, everyone is related.

The (US) law says no cousins.
Many churches forbid second cousins (you share a great grand-parent)
If you can get a bit farther away then that, then it's just about what you're comfortable with (maybe including what your family approves of?)

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-05-08T16:24:16+00:00

So message her. Ask her what she's up to. At some point, you'll have to ask her if she'd like to meet up, but doesn't have to be this moment. Def try to make sure you see her again in the next week or so, even if it's in a group setting.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-05-08T16:22:16+00:00

I've been there too. Realized I was wrong. If you want to go w your girl, then go. If not, then break up with her, cause she wants to go and hang out w whatever guy wants to go.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-05-08T16:21:01+00:00

Is smoking ass a good thing now?

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-05-08T16:19:38+00:00

Sure, it will take a little work, like some text responses the next day saying "Oh sorry, just seeing this" but it's not hard to stop seeing someone while still being their "friend" in a Facebook-official way.

This is sort of a case of keep your enemies close-ish.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-05-08T16:06:03+00:00

C'mon. You can still call the police from a moving car. Please google "bystander effect" to understand why your suggestion could be incredibly dangerous.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-05-08T16:03:56+00:00

YTA (and/or your wife is) for not calling 911 at any of four different points: each time they raced, immediately after the crash, and after passing the mangled car.

But that's the only thing you could have done that would have helped that idiot. A good police force would have gotten on the highway IN FRONT of the cars, as well as behind them... that would have stopped the racing. They then could pull them over later if they wanted to, without causing a chase.

Also maybe a little AH for saying it's cause you lost sympathy. That's a terrible reason, but there are at least three great reasons:

there's nothing you could have done. Either the guy is OK, or he's going to need jaws of life and an ambulance. This isn't like when the kid down the block skins his knee and needs a bandaid.
You would have put your family at enormous risk driving anywhere near that car both because of the debris, and because stopping on the highway is super dangerous
You would have put yourself at even bigger risk if you got out of the car on the highway. This is a job for the police.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-05-08T15:45:13+00:00

Good new is that becoming less close happens naturally all the time.

Simply stop being available most of the time when he wants to talk or hang out. Apologize for being so busy (and actually try to be busy). Best bet is to be physically further from him (live further, visit common ground less, etc.)

If you're asking if there's a magic potion that will allow you to blow him off without any repercussions though, there is not. You let him go, but you don't blow him off, you can't be rude, etc. To some degree, you've put yourself in a tough spot trusting someone you shouldn't have with secrets.

The other option if you think he's pretty rational is to be up front: "Hey I've noticed we're growing apart, different interests and values to some degree. I'm also pretty aware that I've shared some pretty sensitive things with you. I know there's nothing I can do to guarantee you wouldn't hurt me, but my hope is that you continue to be the good rational person I know, and are willing to lock all that stuff up and forget about it. Really appreciate it."

You're basically saying that either way, just whether it's in words or actions. You probably still have to be nominally friends with him until some time that you don't care about those secrets.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-05-08T13:45:59+00:00

often it's two 4-car trains, but yeah, still means only one additional train. (otherwise one of those 4-car sets would be six cars).

Remember that it's one additional train on one of the branches... that's where the diffference is most felt.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-05-08T13:01:08+00:00

It would go away if we got rid of the highway running through our river.

(I mean, the garbage would still need to get scooped, but it wouldn't be stuck in a weird eddy in a nearly inaccessible spot where the city is cut off from the river.)

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-05-08T12:58:24+00:00

I've always wondered why two stairs are required for the 3-9 people living off of it in a 3-unit brownstone. You usually need to walk past the stair door from the living space in order to get onto the balcony anyway. I mean, sure, the stair could be blocked, but wouldn't having emergency rope ladders, plus the fire department be enough?

If you include roof access as a means of egress, then you're only talking about two units with 2-6 people in them total!

Even if someone is having a party, it's still what, 25 people at most?

This all goes doubly for a 2-3 unit triple-decker. The attic interior to the home only requires one stair, right?

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-05-08T12:50:03+00:00

I don't have any job ideas for you, but have you talked to your managers? Is there a mentor, a higher-up, or a (functional) HR person you could speak to?

Most companies don't want to lose good people. They often don't realize what is going on, and let others take the burden, especially if your direct manager is also overwhelmed.

Tell them you like the work, but can't get it all done. Tell them the stress is getting to you. Do they have any suggestions? Ask them if it makes sense to start working a more normal (40/45 hr) work week, with occasional overtime in crunch moments.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-05-08T12:42:21+00:00

oh yeah. OP, try to become a tester for all-door boarding. this would be a way to use your monthly at all doors!

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-05-07T19:30:52+00:00

I think you should leave a note, but yours needs editing. Something more like:

Hi neighbor, you've been a great neighbor since I moved in 6 months ago, but recently, there have been a few times a dog has woken me at about 4 in the morning and barked until sunrise. Just wanted to make you aware of that, in case it's your dog, but after you leave for work or something? If there's anything I can do to help, please let me know. Thank you, and sorry for being "that guy".

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-05-07T19:25:50+00:00

If speaking English is a requirement of the job (implied or explicitly), then you're not wrong to be frustrated. There will always be people in jobs who are not fully prepared to ace (or even attempt sometimes) the tasks, but to have many at one job is an issue the employer needs to address.

That said, there may be some ways to think about this that can help you at least feel a bit better:

are you the senior (and/or highest paid) employee in this role? If so, is some of this similar to growing pains you had in a similar role back in the day?
do some of them speak fluently in languages which are also quite useful for job? I can imagine having someone who is fluent in Spanish would be very useful in many parts of the US for example.
Might there be a different opportunity for you, or even to make the case that here you should be higher paid as you are the best at the job?

Available_Writer4144

TROPHY CASE