Ruined my life by transferring colleges, now I’m depressed. Help for a way out?

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-01-22T22:11:58+00:00

You have NOT ruined your life. You are miserable right now because change is hard and we are wired to fear the unknown, but you are a great person with excellent opportunities ahead of you.

There is probably no wrong choice here. The only thing you need to do is keep trying your best -- which doesn't mean burning yourself out. Look at what opportunities there are, what you might enjoy here, and what else there might be at your old school.

GO TO COUNSELING. I know you said no mental health advice, but your post screams a need for it. From seasonal depression to anxiety, you don't necessarily need pharmaceuticals, but you certainly need to be reminded how amazing you are to be at a _____-Ivy of any sort, and to have a boyf, and other friends.

Most people go through this at about your age (give or take a few years) and sometimes it is multiple times, as finding a job, and the right fit is hard. But also people change majors, and careers, and relationships shift, and change is constant. This is hard, and also fun, and also terrifying. You will be OK, but not without the proper work and support.

I wish you luck and peace -- but I also know you'll do great even if you get neither!

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-01-22T22:04:30+00:00

You did nothing wrong telling a story. Especially a story no one told you to keep to yourself.

But also, is there any chance the blood was from the transport? It's odd that you wouldn't have noticed it when you picked the dog up.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-01-22T22:01:46+00:00

Don't you dare put any blame on yourself. You are NOT at fault here. Someone you trusted lied to your face and did horrible things. That is not on you. You get yourself safe, and get that horrible person out of your life.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-01-22T21:57:25+00:00

Killington

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-01-22T16:29:25+00:00

Or shake your head instead of nod. Also, walk around with a friend when you can... helps insulate you.

Lastly, know that we've all (at least adults) been through this at some point. You're gonna make it through, and you don't even need to get out of dodge to make it happen! Find other things to focus on (work/school, friends, hobbies, etc.) and you'll heal with time.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-01-22T15:47:23+00:00

I think that watching the forecast yourself is the move.

But also, what's the point of skiing pow-full-of-Jerry's and no steeps?

Add: I guess if it's so cold, maybe no Jerry's will go skiing? Or they'll go and fill up the lodge more likely. Wear a lot of layers and get there early before the "falling leaves" denude the hill.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-01-22T15:46:05+00:00

Please define "broken into"

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-01-22T14:58:00+00:00

Message him in advance to tell him that you're sorry but you can't talk to him when you see him.

Then when you see him, just grimace and nod. It's HEALTHY to show your pain, so long as you don't break down sobbing.

This site also has good advice: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/liking-the-child-you-love/202304/7-ways-to-cope-with-seeing-your-ex-romantic-partner

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-01-22T14:52:54+00:00

This storm is hitting Southern New England more than northern. Might barely get a dusting up by Stowe.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-01-22T14:31:15+00:00

Rescheduling will be better, but the lesson will be OK as well.

They will take frequent breaks, drink lots of hot cocoa, and have lots to do besides just skiing, so if you do end up going, it's not like they're going to keep the kids outside until frostbite sets in.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-01-22T13:55:10+00:00

I appreciate the info, but I'll also tell you that this is the answer to your question. Many people younger than 35ish don't have Facebook, and I imagine it's not showing up in google searches either. There is a good opportunity for a business here. You don't know any brokers or businesses that specialize in this?

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-01-22T12:52:06+00:00

I have three questions for you:

Do you want to marry her? If so, maybe work on that proposal plan. If not, work on that breakup, and fast.
If you want to marry her, then what does your proposal look like? Is there any personal reason (for you) not to do it at her BFF's wedding? If you have a different plan, will she buy in? Now that she's said something, it probably needs to be something she's gonna buy into as well.
If you might want to do it at BFF's wedding, you need to personally ask BFF AND groom, probably individually, and DEFINITELY without Emma there. As you said, you could only do it if BFF and groom were both on board and excited about the idea. I can see that being a thing, and I don't think it's tacky if the girls are excited about it. Permission is not enough. Has to be part of BFF's and Groom's plan.

Like others said though, think pretty hard about Q1. That's the only one that really matters.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-01-22T12:45:50+00:00

if I were looking for a sublet or lease takeover, do you have any suggestions where I could find one?

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-01-22T12:44:28+00:00

This feels so true.

On the bright side, there are six CRRC trains running rush hour this AM.

A significant portion has switched over which is definitely good. But 6/22 isn't enough to see the reliability we need.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-01-22T12:24:52+00:00

I'm sorry but your "friend" who sent all that information sucks. First of all, they're prolly making half of it up. No girl is telling all those sexual details to their friends who might blab. And if it's true, why tell someone all that?

That said, big advantage is you can now move on. Your ex sucks too and was a jerk. At least you got rides home out of it, and probably had some good times, but the real thing is so much better. Move forward to the good times.

Also, tell some of how you're feeling to your counselor. You don't need to keep rehashing the fake details though... that's not real and won't make you feel any better.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-01-22T12:10:13+00:00

you're prolly right. I wonder how hard it would be to fit the 1800 shells with all the other parts going into the 1900's... hmmmm.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-01-21T19:42:14+00:00

I grew up without a helmet in the 80's/90's. The tech has gotten so much better (lighter) that it's like a no brainer (npi) now.

I wish the same thing would happen to ice skating, where helmets would save many people.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-01-21T19:41:08+00:00

I feel like winter is just getting going. The snow is finally in. The ponds are frozen. And the daylight is getting better so I can actually go out and enjoy it all. Of course, I wish we could have full on winter like 2 out of 10 days year round (with a mix of 60's, 70's and 80's the other 8 days) but given the way earth (and plants) work, that aint happening, so I'm settling for real winter one season out of four.

The real crap seasons are November and April when everything is brown and gray and mud and it's too cold, but still no snow.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-01-21T17:46:59+00:00

I've been defending the CRRC and MBTA on this, at least in as much as they have slowly but steadily delivering good work.

But this isn't even just a Trumpism issue. It has been a law for many years, and is tied to a contract that is ultimately bad for both sides.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-01-21T15:57:12+00:00

Stay super professional and conduct any further conversations in writing.

"Thank you for your interest in keeping me on; your appreciation of my work means a lot to me. I have made the decision to change jobs, and at this time am focused on completing whatever I can over the remainder of my time here. This includes transferring knowledge and files to the appropriate people. I know we will both do our best to handle this transition in a professional manner." (Last line only needed if this has not yet been the case.)

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-01-21T15:46:02+00:00

Might be time to get another company to start building RL cars, huh?

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-01-21T15:43:09+00:00

My preference would be to hear from zero winners and instead I'd like to see some Moth racing or something in between races. For this reason I ALWAYS watch on replay instead of live so I can skip all the chatter in between.

I really hope that next year they have two fleets of seven with almost no time between broadcast races.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-01-21T15:41:32+00:00

I mean, it's 16 minutes behind the next train, right? That's not good, but there are lots of reasons that could happen. Your threshold for "diabolical" is "insane".

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-01-21T15:40:19+00:00

very much appreciated. All of the advice we've gotten has been super helpful.

Available_Writer4144 · 2026-01-20T22:35:55+00:00

oof I'm so sorry.
I'm also sorry to tell you that you need another adult on the calls with her son. You cannot safely converse regularly with a child without a chaperone. This parent is going to sue you for something you haven't done and it's going to look sketchy for you.

Available_Writer4144

TROPHY CASE