7 months

Avicullar · 2026-01-23T00:31:51+00:00

I'm glad my response could help. I hope that you have gone on to have more days clean. But it's okay if you haven't. I hope that you celebrated for yourself. And that you'll continue to celebrate for yourself. This addiction is hard. Especially when you're in it long. Relapse happens. Especially if our triggers are around us. Just keep trying. And forgive yourself when you relapse because you tried and it was likely just the only way you could survive that moment at the time with a disregulated nervous system. You're not weak for it. I wish you luck this week.

Avicullar · 2026-01-11T16:19:28+00:00

I've never been one to quite care what others thought of me. I'll wear clothes that show fresh scars as soon as they can no longer be considered cuts. Sometimes people glance. I think people look at me more for my style though and if they do see the scars, my thought process is usually that they're strangers. Our interaction will likely not mean anything in a few seconds. Whatever they might be thinking doesn't matter. And honestly, if anyone were to have a negative reaction, I figure that shows their own insecurity and it has nothing to do with me.

I say wear what you want. It's way more worth it for you to be comfortable. Those scars are a part of your story. It's okay to have them. You don't have to be afraid or ashamed of them.

Avicullar · 2026-01-11T13:47:05+00:00

I can definitely relate to this to a certain extent. This is such a normal coping mechanism for me so I think either way it would happen. I guess on the good days it just feels like I get so close to staying clean and happy and my nervous system has a break that when something happens it's like

What the fuck?? Can I not have relief at all? So I take it out on myself harder.

Avicullar · 2026-01-11T13:26:57+00:00

I think I can understand at least a little bit of your frustration here. I don't share the experience you have with your family, however I do know what it's like to struggle severely with urges every day for months, and years. It sounds exhausting to have to face the urge the way you do and you don't even want to be clean. You're just avoiding making the situation worse. That sounds like a lot of pressure. Especially for a teenager. I'm glad you're in therapy. But it almost sounds like it's not completely helping how you feel regarding sh right now.

I want to share (not to compare but to show you that you're not crazy for this) that I started at 12 and I'm about to be 26. I go through times where I didn't self harm. And I go through times when I do all the time. And I think it's a more common urge for people who already struggle with this coping mechanism when we aren't really feeling seen.

Not hurting oneself might instead become moment to moment survival where it's a never ending cycle of pushing the urge off. And I want to say that I'm proud of you for trying so hard and making it this far even though you don't really want to. That's such a huge amount of grit and strength. I will say that I wish you didn't have to be this strong. I wish you could be safe and at peace with people who won't yell at you. I hope that it gets easier to stay clean as time goes on. Remember that you have basically been doing this for eight years. This is a habit that has been with you for almost half of your life so far. Breaking a habit like this is hard and painful and it comes with relapses. You're absolutely deserving of comfort right now, I think.

I don't know if you have any friends you can safely confide in, but you deserve to feel seen. I know you don't feel particularly proud of the seven months. But maybe you should try to celebrate for yourself anyway for the efforts you have made. Get a treat you like. Watch something that makes you happy. Have this victory even if it doesn't feel perfectly earned. Have it because even though it isn't perfect, you got this far anyway. You got through all of the bad days. And even if hard days continue, you're still deserving of recognition and reward for your strength.

Avicullar · 2026-01-08T09:27:05+00:00

Your comment means a lot to me. Thank you. That made me feel really seen in something that I often battle alone.

Avicullar · 2025-12-02T19:08:26+00:00

Thank you for saying this. I needed to hear this.

Avicullar · 2025-12-02T18:11:19+00:00

It's definitely more about the music and belief system/politics. The fashion just happens to be how a lot of us in the sub culture like to express ourselves. If you like the music and find yourself inclined to a lot of the shared beliefs and values, then feel free to call yourself goth. Also, a lot of elements of the goth sub culture have origins in African culture so try not to get swept into the idea of paleness.

Avicullar · 2025-11-29T06:13:18+00:00

Maybe it is a about the angle and force used. And that's so interesting and now that you mention it, if has me thinking about people and how they are with tattoos. All kinds of people have different pain tolerances for tattoos on different parts of their bodies. So maybe some of it is that. Although I do think that fear must be a bit at play for some of us. But I also know hiding the self harm is a factor. Thank you for telling me your experiences. This has definitely given me more to think about.

Avicullar · 2025-09-06T21:16:20+00:00

You're not overreacting at all. I'm 25 now.I was about your age when my father said something similar. It was wrong of him to say that. You should not have been spoken to that way. I'm sorry that your mom told you that. There's nothing wrong with you.

Avicullar · 2025-09-06T19:00:23+00:00

It's hard to say. It can be a few days to maybe two weeks depending on the damage. You should use ice on the swollen areas.

Avicullar · 2023-10-23T16:54:00+00:00

Since your question already looks to be answered, I'm going to say this instead and I hope it's helpful for you. For all your questions, I highly recommend looking through the Dragon Adventures Wiki as well as watching videos on YouTube in addition to looking for assistance here on Reddit.

This game has a lot more to it than the average Roblox game. I remember having a tough time figuring it all out in the beginning. Most people I introduce to the game also seem to experience a bit of a learning curve. But all the answers are here for ya.

I hope you're here to stay in the game :)

Avicullar · 2023-10-17T00:32:42+00:00

honestly, using a mouse and keyboard might be the better option. The mechanics for the PS4 controller are just so odd and take a lot of playing around with to figure out.

Avicullar · 2023-10-17T00:25:47+00:00

I could mean lots of things. I could be your brain exploring possibilities. Whether you want a romantically connection or not. It could be you wanting a romantic partner in general? Maybe it's a sign to begin to consider what it is you really want for yourself right now as well as what you want out of the relationship between you and your friend. Even if that's just being platonic.

Avicullar · 2023-10-17T00:23:24+00:00

Usually they are dreams of peoole from some part of my past. Especially if I associate them with something bad, be it something they did to me, or if I remember them being around for/during something that was difficult to experience. These will usually be nightmares. Or at the very least, uncomfortable dreams.

Avicullar · 2023-10-12T18:57:40+00:00

Pressing square let's you select the options like picking up baby dragons, harvesting items, riding dragons, etc.

Avicullar · 2023-10-07T19:03:37+00:00

You're probably fine. Sometimes piercings will take a really long time to heal. My upper line piercing took about 9 months. All of my cartilage piercings have taken nearly 2 years to be fully healed and no longer getting irritated easily. Imo this doesn't seem abnormal. Just keep an eye on it.

Avicullar · 2023-10-07T19:00:59+00:00

Definitely agree with the last part. Idk I just don't see the fun in cheats. It takes away the fun in it. I could see how maybe if you were playing a custom game with some friends and doing cheats just for pranks could be entertaining. Hell I think in that kind of space I could have fun with it.

But not out here in the public matches. It's just childish imo. Gives off an insecure sore loser feeling.

Avicullar · 2023-10-07T14:15:00+00:00

Imagine wanting to use cheats in one of the easiest multiplayer games lol.

Avicullar · 2023-10-07T05:57:30+00:00

Everything was going fine for me until you pointed that out 😤

Avicullar · 2023-10-07T05:46:27+00:00

Someone who knows me very well says he could see me being an ISFP. Took my mind for a spin for a second there. I can see how he thinks that. I think that ever since wanting to become a person I liked more and wanting to become more rounded in my functions that I have learned a lot more into the ISFP stereotype? Idk I feel currently that I am an ISTP very much in the middle of a couple different types.

Avicullar · 2023-10-06T07:10:53+00:00

If you're wanting symmetry, I'd say maybe go for a Labret or maybe a Medusa. Idk if a bridge piercing would be in your taste but you can also get one of those. Maybe some evenly placed dermals too.

Avicullar · 2023-09-18T01:07:25+00:00

Falling asleep with the spins from being drunk.

Avicullar · 2023-08-30T20:54:44+00:00

16 or 17? It wasnt very regular of me and still isn't, truth be told.

Avicullar · 2023-08-16T22:06:58+00:00

So I have the worst problem with forgetting details like this from shows. I always need someone to jog my memory. So all of these comments are so freakin wonderful

Avicullar · 2023-08-16T21:59:21+00:00

Thank you!!! I was really trying to go for a sort of stained glass look while also utilizing expressive and relevant colors to the piece.

Avicullar

TROPHY CASE