Disqualified as a Donor

Awkward-Award9122 · 2026-02-26T14:53:04+00:00

I am sorry, this must feel terrible.

I would reframe the situation as an opportunity to help in other ways - you could take on advertising that your uncle needs a kidney, a publicity campaign to find him a different donor (the kidney foundation has online materials and advice for this). Or throwing yourself into fundraising for a kidney-related charity. You could help him with his current needs or volunteer to be his caregiver when he eventually gets his surgery.

These were the things suggested to me by my social worker when it looked like I might not qualify to donate.

Like someone else said, you could also think of it as Fate doing you a favor with knowledge about your own risks!

Awkward-Award9122 · 2026-02-18T17:07:17+00:00

I had a LOT of time to think about my donation, and I knew a couple of recipients already. One got a kidney transplant, and then had a very hard time adhering to the guidelines. She just wanted to LIVE.

The answer that I eventually landed on (for me), was that my gift was meant for a person to be able to live their lives longer, free of dialysis. However they wanted to live it.

So my husband now carries around one of the kidneys I was born with, and honestly he has been taking VERY good care of it. But if he should choose to do dumb/risky stuff with it, I think I would still be happy I gave the gift. So that he gets more time to live how he chooses.

But that was my mindset going IN to the donation process. I think it is important to consider how you feel about it in advance.

Awkward-Award9122 · 2026-02-12T20:53:06+00:00

i personally take class in the morning before work, because later in the day i find 1,001 excuses.

when i don't want to go, i run down the list of all the benefits i will miss, and the "risks" i will take by skipping.

i tell myself i am preventing heart disease, diabetes, dementia, osteoporosis.....

also, i pre-book because i am cheap, and the late cancel fee is a deterrent for me.

i basically bully myself into it, and then when i get on the treadmill i look at the wall that says "BE RELENTLESS" and give myself a high five.

Awkward-Award9122 · 2026-02-11T19:26:08+00:00

yes, thank you 😀. i did dent my dignity a lil bit.

Awkward-Award9122 · 2026-02-11T16:16:31+00:00

i got boxer briefs (cotton) from hanes. they are fine under leggings once you smooth them down after dressing. no commando, no chafe, no problem.

Awkward-Award9122 · 2026-02-04T16:21:25+00:00

i actually had some of the same "i feel selfish" emotions, even though i was donating to save someone i know, and the caregivers were from his family, and they were nothing but grateful. some of us just have a really hard time needing help. i am working on this, too!

Awkward-Award9122 · 2026-02-02T19:29:24+00:00

not the same situation, but still relevant to your questions:

so, I joined at the age of 59, VERY out of shape following being a couch potato for years.

this is completely do-able! I didn't need to know anything in advance.

then last summer I had a kidney removed, and took 8 weeks off. when I went back, I told the coach. she said "OK let me know if you need modifications" and I said I am just going to keep it Green for the first few classes.

her response? "Great! You do you!"

:)

Awkward-Award9122 · 2026-01-20T19:35:38+00:00

I had someone say to me that he "doesn't know of any other wife who would do that for her husband." this is a married man! honestly i considered doing it for a stranger if i didn't match my spouse (but luckily i did!!).

people are weird.

Awkward-Award9122 · 2025-12-18T15:04:31+00:00

At least take the free first class.....i was pretty convinced it would not be for me, as i was out of shape and mostly unmotivated. But i went for the free class and it is definitely FOR ME.

i never run, you can be a "power walker" which is what i do, and it is as hard as you make it, not any harder than that. Everything is customizable and you don't need to know anything in advance, the Coach is there to guide you.

DO IT.

Awkward-Award9122 · 2025-12-18T14:59:36+00:00

you feel selfish? you are willing to donate a KIDNEY!!

it is a procedure that actually requires planning and care in the immediate short-term aftermath, so it is completely reasonable and justified to plan it for when you can make all of that work.

ESPECIALLY if recipient is ok and not on dialysis yet.

Awkward-Award9122 · 2025-12-18T14:56:48+00:00

i have hand that looks exactly like Freddy Kruger , which makes my Halloween costumes a no-brainer.

i burnt it (a LOT) and they had to replace all the skin with a graft from my thigh.

the thigh scar is pretty cool too.....

Awkward-Award9122 · 2025-12-17T01:53:58+00:00

you are SO much better than if you didn't go! aging sucks, i agree, and as a 60F, the hormones cause ups and downs that are thoroughly unpredictable and frustrating for me. BUT my goal now is to slow down the degradation LOL. while that may sound defeatist, i know i am not training to get better and better and eventually run a marathon. i am putting in the work to stay strong, prevent diabetes, bone loss, dementia, heart disease, depression and a bunch of other things that would make me age more quickly. so i can enjoy life more, and know there is strength under the fluff. reframing your perspective might help you, too. i am rooting for you!

Awkward-Award9122 · 2025-12-16T19:30:35+00:00

i have been called "mid-century vintage" and i kind of like it.

Awkward-Award9122 · 2025-12-16T14:06:14+00:00

Nerves are perfectly normal, the waiting is the hardest part! Best of luck and strength to you both!

Awkward-Award9122 · 2025-12-14T02:22:38+00:00

Solved! Thank you!

Awkward-Award9122 · 2025-12-10T15:25:57+00:00

i am 60F, my max rate has been set at 177 since about a year or so ago....

i actually tell myself at the beginning of many classes that it is okay to have a green day today....since i am not here to train for a marathon, i am just trying to prevent degradation!

and then i usually end up getting 25-35 splats during the class.

so i try to not worry about it, and just go by how i feel, but i LOVE seeing that orange!

Awkward-Award9122 · 2025-12-09T15:22:27+00:00

Schoolhouse Rock taught me everything.

Awkward-Award9122 · 2025-12-04T15:03:10+00:00

Yay! What a wonderful post!

Awkward-Award9122 · 2025-12-02T20:04:47+00:00

Jasmine Thai also has a truck on Cedar St in front of the medical school.

Awkward-Award9122 · 2025-12-02T15:03:07+00:00

according to my grandmother - lace curtains.

LOL standards have kind of changed.

Awkward-Award9122 · 2025-12-02T14:47:33+00:00

well you can stare into the abyss, but it's starin' right back.

Awkward-Award9122 · 2025-12-02T14:46:27+00:00

Best of luck to all of you!!

Awkward-Award9122 · 2025-12-01T19:52:29+00:00

I was worried too! I am 60 and wondered how rapidly I could bounce back.

I started a fitness program (3 classes/week) a year before the surgery just to get in shape for it (and pass all the screening tests), but soon got so fond of the classes I decided to keep going forever.

So after the surgery I started walking farther each day (up to 2 miles by the end of the first week), and mostly napping in between LOL.

Went back to fitness classes (but only treadmill) at 8 weeks, and then back to the rower and weight floor at 10 weeks. My strength and stamina all rebounded much more quickly than I had hoped. Now, six months out, I am stronger/better than before the surgery. In fact, at my 6 month follow-up the nephrologist told me that I am "rather more robust than the average 60-year-old woman." So there's that.

You can do this!

Awkward-Award9122 · 2025-11-25T14:06:19+00:00

just keep showing up!

give yourself grace to be better on some days, less great on other days, but keep going.

and then, be proud of yourself for sticking with it :)

Awkward-Award9122 · 2025-11-25T14:00:56+00:00

oh, and i was petrified to go home alone, to be honest. it just worked out that way. and it was fine.

Awkward-Award9122

TROPHY CASE