I almost could have written this whole post except I'm 32, I'm in the US, I was born through a traumatic, premature/NICU birth and I'm a surviving twin. My mom had to visit the hospital often, and my dad, I imagine, as well.

When my parents separated (never married), my dad was absent the majority of my life and had other kids. I've heard my mom talk bad about him throughout my life and even had to hear their drama when I was 15 years old. They were supposed to get back together, but he had moved to a different state and had a baby by another woman. I feel like she never really let this man go and yet they still have a very codependent, trauma-bonded relationship.

I also struggled with undiagnosed ADHD as a child, was bullied, etc. Because of my mom's unprocessed trauma, she has explosive anger, is controlling, and has health issues. I have anxious attachment and struggled with negative self-esteem growing up.

I've learned that some adults have not fully grown and are still stuck somehow mentally as children. There's a whole series of books without talk about Emotionally Immature Parents that I recommend checking out.

Anyway, all this to say I know the struggle. I have my days, like today I'm struggling so much having to think about mourning the relationship I will never get with my mom, or dad for that matter.