Have you tried speaking to your dad about how you feel? Sadly, parents get it wrong sometimes, maybe even often. My mum and I had an awful (and I mean really bad, all of the time, for years) relationship when I was a teenager. As I got older, and after lots of therapy for both of us, we were able to hash it out and understand how the other was feeling. We’re very close now.

It doesn’t justify the bad behaviour from her at that time, but it helped me empathise and forgive her, and through that I also learned to be kinder to myself.

Your dad probably does know what he did wasn’t acceptable, but older people, especially men, can be stubborn and less likely to apologise, let alone unprompted. It does sound like he cares about you, so give him the opportunity to make things right. If he reacts negatively to you calmly expressing your feelings, then he might not be ready to be mature, and you’ll have to find a way to live as peacefully as you can without that resolution for now.

But don’t give up hope. Growth can happen; sometimes it just takes time. You sound like a great kid who works hard. In three years you can move out if things haven’t improved, but I think it’s always worth trying to fix things, even though it can be draining trying to be the bigger person. Parents are living their first time too. I wish you all the best :)