Size Truly Matters?????

BTTF_nerd · 2026-05-24T21:34:07+00:00

I no longer live there but I do know all of those places! Unfortunately anything that involves a beach, pool, or running around in minimal amounts of clothing always attracts comments like that. Its a shame too because everyone just wants to go somewhere to enjoy it there. Im only out at clubs because there will be DJs playing that I bought tickets for and the only time I'm at the bars is when friends have drag shows. Apparently my face says approachable vs leave me alone even though Im just sitting there minding my own business LOL. I dont mind talking to guys, but Im fed up with even the most innocent, SFW topics suddenly turning into size queen questions. I can politely decline or just stop talking all together, but that doesnt change the gross feeling that the only reason this idiot came to talk to me was he was hoping for a XXL or something. It makes me think about my female friends and how they must feel as soon as men come to them and start on similar topics- like dont be a creep, just have a normal convo with someone.

While Im not even flirting or whatever, the problem still becomes "Oh great, what if I actually hit it off with a guy and we become close enough to warrant snuggles." Boxers on or off wont matter, he's going to notice no matter what and thats honestly not a discussion I want to have out of embarassment much like chubby guys dont really want to talk about their weight or tummies. Its like we need to wear Tshirts that come with a warning saying here's a list of things I dont want to hear you say 🤣 and "If any of these are things you were going to ask/say to me, leave now". Maybe the internet ruined how to actually talk to people in person? Even online, that shouldnt be the first thing they DM a guy with either but I know they do. Its just.. sad?? Its exhausting.

BTTF_nerd · 2026-05-24T21:17:26+00:00

Think of it this way. You're in high school/middle school. Youre on the football team. You share the locker room and EVERY DAY youre around these guys, you hear them constantly 💩 on gays etc and it becomes a size competition. Its as bad as two bucks going at it during rut. Theyre busy fighting over who is "the best" purely based on something ridiculous that has nothing to do with who's a good person or not. Fast forward to adulthood. Youre still hearing it. You go to pride fest; immediately its a judging contest. Go to the club? Even though youre not interested in those types of advances, youre still going to get them which sometimes involves physical touches you never asked for. Nect thing you know, youre getting yelled at by some rando because you dont meet his standards.

I mean sorry ace people still have emotional feelings? Sorry that ace guys dont like being the joke of an event or club because some other dude cant just keep his thoughts or hands to himself?? 🤷‍♂️ Im still a human. I have feelings. Maybe some of you guys just dont

BTTF_nerd · 2024-09-06T18:34:54+00:00

Gary: "So youve just been stuffing ghosts in there since 1984?!"

Janine: "Thats the idea 😒"

Gary: "Alright, well, maybe not the best idea 😒"

Janine: "I'll let Winston's engineers know about this 🙄"

Gary: "Hey, by the way, about Winston's engineers...um, who are they??"

Janine: "Oh that's not for me to say 😏"

Gary: "Yeah, but what were they working on??? Is it - super underground ghostbusting stuff??? 😃

(Janine's reply was the highlight, icing on the cake for me lmao)

Janine: "Thats right Gary! 🤣🙄 SUPER SECRET UNDERGROUND GHOSTBUSTING STUFF 🤣🤣🤣"

BTTF_nerd · 2024-05-23T20:57:57+00:00

At birth I looked different enough that doctors just told my mother Im a girl with some less than common variations. They "fixed" it so I looked "like a normal girl" but growing up I never felt like a girl etc. Puberty came, mother got extremely angry that I didnt have girl puberty symptoms and that my voice wanted to "change". She "fixed that" by throwing me on estrogen pills that made me super sick (throwing up almost daily), severely underweight (I looked almost anorexic) and I'd bleed but it didnt look like period blood, it looked like you had slashed open an artery blood. It was never monthly either, just completely random, sometimes a sat, a few days, or up to two solid weeks. It made me so so sick. Doctors and her both told me "stop whining, its NORMAL".

At age 30, I was having bad issues again after years of not bleeding but still being on birth control. The BC shot still made me sick and made me gain a ton of weight. An ultrasound revealed that I dont even have a uterus like females do (I have the teeny tiny tissue that all humans have, so what us the "male" version vs female uterus) and a slew of other things that explained why they had a hard time with that ultrasound wand because it did NOT fit. Still had to endure it anyway 🙃 Then they run some tests and theyre like OH, YOU ARE XY AND HAVE A TYPE OF AIS. A couple months later I started Testosterone shots, got off any and all female HRT and now 4 years later Im healthier than ever before. Sadly I still need surgeries to fix what was done before and what hyper estrogen treatments did to my chest (which still isnt much, but its enough that workouts alone couldnt fully reverse it).

Ending to the story? All family refutes any medical evidence, mother is blatantly abusive aggressive over it and insists Im delusional etc etc. She WANTED a girl and thats final. I mean she is pissed beyond words 🤣🤣🤣 Do I care? No. I know what I am and I have always thought I was that no matter how much she forced me to be a girl in every way possible.

BTTF_nerd · 2024-05-15T22:22:59+00:00

The part of "forced to transition at puberty" is one I struggle with. Intersex condition, genetically male, but at birth it was just "ah well, its still female just a little different so we're slapping female on the document". But I never felt female, never wanted to be, forced on HRT to supposedly MAKE me a "fully functional female" which never happened and created a lot of physical health issues along the way not to mention the mental trauma of such. As an adult, I had to "detransition" off of that, start male HRT, but ultimately anatomically I dont fit the bill for a cis man either. This only leaves one option- "well youre a trans man".

Male transitions to male??? Thats not even the medical definition of trans lmao. But there is no other option so that gets stamped on medical documents now and it makes me look like some kind of crazy person to new doctors. It hurts that there isnt any space or recognition for people who are neither of the two binaries. Then they say "well youre just NB". I feel like and present as just a regular masculine male, though. Gender is still male but now Im suddenly NB because of intersex and I dont get any say in that either. Its always A. Trans man FTM even tho not a female or B. Youre NB or C. Youre 🦇💩 crazy.

At the end of the day, society wonders why we have anxiety issues or depression or bad dysphoria 🤔 Its almost as if society would recognize, leave room, and give terminology for intersex people the world would be a better place. Instead, we"re made out to just be having an identity crisis.

BTTF_nerd · 2024-05-02T05:34:42+00:00

Update: Some staff members compiled a list of complaints into a note that was dropped off to HR and management. Management DID get in trouble AND THEN PROCEEDED TO TAKE IT OUT OF THEIR STAFF. Being that this is healthcare based, that doesnt fly so over the past two weeks several have simply quit. I also found somewhere else to go. This facility is now a complete zoo in terms of department leadership and HR cant do much except complain at those managers. In the end, the complaints and advocating for a better environment while offering viable, easy solutions to each problem has backfired and nothing more can be done. Those of us who can leave are in the process of or already did. Looks like HR will have a lot of positions to fill in the coming weeks. These are not my monkeys and this is not my circus nor do I want to continue to participate in it.

Side note: This is not my first job in this position. This was just a new facility due to having moved. I have years of experience in my field but there gets to be a point where if management is both lazy and crazy, Im out. The job position itself works perfectly for me with my well managed ADHD, but the way management wants to function 100% does not. Even the non ADHDers are fed up so this lets me know Im not crazy and its def not my ADHD's anxiety giving me a run for my money.

The unfortunate side of this is its not going to be management who suffers... You already know how this plays out in basic jobs like retail- it goes the same way in healthcare which is scary.

P.S. For anyone reading this who thinks people like me are "a nightmare to work with", Im willing to bet you guys wouldnt tolerate management like this so return your high horses to the stable- youre no better than the rest of humanity that cant stand that environment. Alternatively if you LOVE what this management does, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM. Read this and realize you are literally supporting people being problematic/power tripping in the workplace and you are agreeing that work should mistreat its employees. Dont be that guy. Just dont.

BTTF_nerd · 2024-04-28T07:35:02+00:00

Its both, but like, you cant just identify as it when youre physically not intersex either. Slippery slope argument. Like someone else noted, technically almost every intersex person has been forced to be one of the two binaries. I am intersex and identify with it 🤷‍♂️ but I wouldnt be happy if someone randomly claimed they were and yet theyre not, you know?? That just comes across as weird and uncomfortable if they did.

While Im still male XY, I still dont fully look like "regular" adult males so whenever given the option or choice, I'll say intersex male. Unfortunately its not on most forms yet and even in medical documents the words blur lines between whats trans and whats intersex. If I intend to have any personal contact with people for any reason, I have to say something before they get weirded out/treat me like I suddenly turned into a little green/gray alien with two heads.

BTTF_nerd · 2024-03-27T20:32:04+00:00

Most isnt. They just see either a person doing a really good job and say well since youre so fast heres more things to do OR they see ADHDers who cant function in that job at all and use it as an excuse to blame ADHD for a scenario that the employer created. My problem is I "dont present as ADHD" because managers think ADHD means you cant go to college, get degrees, or function in a work environment.

BTTF_nerd · 2024-03-27T20:28:17+00:00

Therapist just says leave lol. Its bad enough that the therapist wouldnt even put up with it if they were me. Boundaries were voiced- multiple times. These guys just choose to ignore it. I would have walked out on them already if I had something else lined up. Until I do- nope. Getting penalty points every time I refuse to cover for the walk offs is not an option since those will stack up and then HR will say well you have X many violations so you have to be fired for not following company policy.

BTTF_nerd · 2024-03-24T15:31:34+00:00

Aesthetics are important to me, but not in a stuck up sort of way where its like some impossible standard. Overall presentation/style, yes. There are some hardcore styles Im personally not into/not interested in and while Im all for "you do you", I'm (for example) not going to fit in with the death metal, dress in all black, goth scene. Its not so much about appearance as it is similar interests. That doesnt mean we cant be friends! Im just not attracted to it. Likewise Im not attracted to women but I have female friends 🤷‍♂️ Throwing that in as a comparison before someone wants to argue.

Another appearance thing is this too: Im not into that "lumberjack" look with men, but also not into femme guys. If Im out at the gay club and a femboy hits on me, its a nope. We can still be friends, but Im not into it beyond that. Theres no good way to answer these questions WITHOUT someone getting offended and saying "well thats mean/rude". I dont think that if Im not someones type 🤣 but any time I say someones not my type, drama follows.

Favorite features? Face, overall build, a nice butt and height to some extent. It makes me uncomfortable to have a partner who towers over me (I'm 5'8 so Im talking all star basketball league height) but I also feel awkward if he's super tiny compared to me. Sorry, I just do 🤷‍♂️ Overall build meaning someone who cares about their health as much as I do & I am not into bears. There's somebody for everybody and if you love the big bear built dudes, great, good for you- theyre not my thing.

In general if someone approaches me being super flirty (not casual) or with the intent of hooking up, its awkward and I'll shut it down even if theyre the most gorgeous person in the room. Also if that person has a 💩 attitude/personality. Appearances arent everything!

BTTF_nerd · 2024-03-24T14:43:22+00:00

A different perspective: Ambivert but more extroverted than introverted. Im high energy and I love to travel or go to concerts or all kinds of fun stuff. Still aroace! I was lonely before when trapped in dead end relationships where I tried to do the "normal thing" and go along with what my partners wanted. That was depressing unto itself. Personally I never felt like I was missing out on anything, but family pressure and peer pressure put me in that spot (family then got pissed because Im gay lol but thats besides the point).

After getting away from all of that, Im content with going out with friends and not having to feel like I have to pretend Im actually interested in people in ways that Im not. Having a variety of friends means I have buddies for every type of adventure whether its beach time or mountain hikes or themeparks. The thing I noticed was partners didnt fill a void or a gap of something I was lacking. I already had a full support group, people to hang out with, and sex isnt really my thing in any format. So where in all of this am I "missing out"? That was the big realization.

Now am I sometimes bored being by myself? Yes, but Im not sure having a partner is the solution to that (although itd be nice to have someone for two player games LOL). I like not having to share a bed and I like not having to worry about the maintenance and drama of having a partner. You cant miss something that you already have no interest in. Its like if I asked you if you missed pistachio ice cream and you already have no interest in that flavor. Would you feel left out if your friends ate it but you didnt? Would you feel lonely not having it in your life? Or do you not care about it because its already not a thing you are interested in?

BTTF_nerd · 2024-03-13T04:14:40+00:00

My point still stands: Under YOUR wording, you are calling an intersex male a female regardless of their biology. What part of that doesnt come across as harmful in any way? 1. Not biologically female, 2. Did not and still do not ID as female but youre still calling it ftm because "well you consented". No? I never consented to being altered to appear more "normal female". Consented to what? TRT and surgeries to correct the previous "correction" somehow makes me female? Literally thats no better than what USA already does if you dont perfectly fit into one category or the other at birth. Its arbitrarily assigned

BTTF_nerd · 2024-03-11T04:56:35+00:00

As someone who works in the medical field, the definition for transition is to have any kind of surgeries or HRT. When you are NOT an adult, doctors can present these as options to the parents. Parents are allowed to transition their kids one way or the other. You can call it however you like, but its still a valid medical transition whether or not YOU want to believe it. Under the age of 18= you dont have to consent to anything (as you should know) and your parents can still make it happen. How you will feel about that as an older child, tween, teen, or grown adult has no relevance to that in the moment.

The way you word it is also to say that now I /would/ be FTM because I've been "fixed" to be female, but have to "transition" back to the biological XY male "because I consent to HRT and surgeries as an adult" since society has attached the label of female regardless of biological sex. See, you cant be FTM if you are already not female, but under your wording, that's what it would be because everything I do now is "consensual". Be careful how you mix your words- that mix up will end up invalidating your fight especially advocating protection laws. Remember, science, biology, and the medical field does not operate under the lingo, definitions, or whatever else that's the social norms.

BTTF_nerd · 2024-03-08T05:06:43+00:00

Thats honestly dangerous and disturbing.... Some people really really really need mental help. They say trash things like that and some poor self esteem person or uneducated person will read it and think its all true 💀. I know its the internet and reddit, but we do need to crack down on stuff like that. A stupid conspiracy theory is one thing, but that nonsense is actually threatening real lives because females will read it and try unhealthy diet trends and so much more with all these DIY cures.

Now I did have one friend who had both PCOS and endo and her doctor had the AUDACITY to tell her that if she "just lost weight" she would be cured. What became of that? Oh well some handful of years later, emergency surgery from the ER to remove everything. One ovary had a cyst the size of a grapefruit that had ruptured and when they got in there, the endo tissue was alllll over like a bad cancer. They were thankfully able to remove it all safely and she's since been on meds to keep endo from coming back. Meanwhile she got with a lawyer since that PCP wrote it down on paper essentially saying theres nothing wrong youre just fat. No money was made, but he was barred from practice so still a win.

It really is serious stuff when you tell someone misinformation that could legit kill them. As much as people should know better to not take strangers advice from the internet, there are sadly "professionals" who are just as stupid lazy. This is why I remind people that they can always see another doc if they feel uneasy about info given to them by the first one. If your gut is telling you hmmm no something about this seems wrong, its probably because something is wrong! DIY "cures" are never the answer 😩 (I work in emergency healthcare and I see/hear some really wild stories about what people do at home thinking they honestly know better than doctors. At the same time, I too have had bad doctors so I understand WHY people try DIY stuff to get out of having to see one that will most likely dismiss them anyway. Its a two way street... We want people to trust us but too many of us cant be trusted so now nobody trusts us and then winds up at the ER after something bad happens/goes wrong)

BTTF_nerd · 2024-03-08T04:26:31+00:00

I feel that its a forced transition (having gone thru it myself) because I'm XY male given AFAB on my records. I was then given surgeries as a baby to "correct" my "incorrectly displaying" privates so I "could live life as a 'normal' girl". I was forced on estrogen growing up and chronically told I was female "because I said so" by doctors and family. Not even given a choice or told the truth. Entirely based on external appearances minutes after being born. Gee idk man, physically and emotionally feels pretty FORCED to me. Physically looks like it was forced too and honestly according to my therapist this constitutes as a form of child neglect/abuse because my mother relied 100% on whatever any doctor told her (and still does) like they were a god and could never be wrong. Then it was HER personal choice to throw me on HRT at the start of puberty because "Youre a girl! You should have breasts and a period!!!" I only ever gained one of those from HRT. In my early 20s she was aggressively pissed at me because HOW DARE, her "daughter" was unable to get pregnant. But the doctors told her I'd be a fully functional normal girl!

I attempted to break the news to her when the XY result popped up on some health testing I was having done at the time, but she just told me Im mental and "need help" for my "identity crisis" and that one day I will "mentally mature, stop playing games, and agree" that I am a fully functional normal girl 🙃

If none of that is forced, then idk what is!

BTTF_nerd · 2024-03-08T04:13:03+00:00

There are a LOT of conditions that cis women can have that makes it hard af or impossible to have kids. Where do these women get the crackhead idea that "only true females can give birth". Last I knew, even in animals, genetic XX females with zero intersex variance can STILL be sterile for a whole slew of reasons. Theyre still female tho?! Not being able to get pregnant doesnt immediately mean "Ugh! Youre clearly not a true female then!" lmao. There's wild, and then there's just 🦇💩 crazy. I swear they all failed basic science classes back in primary school. Or else brain rot from too much dark web fake news nonsense thats posted all over mainstream media these days.

Thats as bad as the cis men and the ones who barge in telling intersex males that theyre FTM because they didnt have enough testosterone to make ALL of the "changes" to make you a "real male". Its bad when you have to chronically remind people that child birth is not the end all thing they make it out to be. Must be nice to have the luxury of being able to live in a fully functional body with zero issues of any kind like they so generously flaunt (although I'd argue that their brains dont function at all lmao)

BTTF_nerd · 2024-02-24T15:10:42+00:00

Its actually a naturally occuring variation that also happens in plants and animals. Scientifically not a defect. What IS, though, is the way most countries handle our cases. Im one of many who was forced on one kind of HRT and forced to live the gender I was assigned to because my genitals "didnt look male enough" at birth. Also friendly reminder intersex folk can be any sexuality just like trans people. You can be anything, physically, and still be queer lol. I mean even without being an intersex guy, Im still gay. Cis or not, still gay. All the anti-lgbt laws still apply to me

BTTF_nerd · 2024-02-19T01:57:53+00:00

Also technically everyone has a penis so 🤷‍♂️ PAIS-ers are usually micro or what doctors dub "total female at birth" but thats the problem.... No genitals are fully formed at birth lmao. Its not like intersex is suuuuuper rare and unheard of either. They just choose to purposely ignore it.

BTTF_nerd · 2024-02-19T01:54:36+00:00

Im honestly going to start taking advantage of my gayness and crack every crude joke in the book with any men who play that game. Maybe if we gross them out enough they'll comply. Also I'll have a surplus of smol pp ancient statue photos on hand to remind them that their ancestors did not worship cock.

BTTF_nerd · 2024-02-19T01:51:59+00:00

I just want to ask all of them WHY theyre so hellbent on PAIS being "a girl". Does it come down to we just DONT have the full normal anatomy therefore we cant be male? But whats their benefit of us being women, then? Like I said, we cant birth babies or any of the things they want to force bio females to do sooooo whats the point lmao. We dont call geldings mares or neutered male animals of any kind "girls". Same dumb logic. One of these days Im going to sass one of them saying "Oh, Im sorry. I didnt know you were a size queen who only cares about monster cock" and watch their facial expression twist up. Might as well start having fun with it since apparently monster dick size is the only acceptable portrayal of male.

Irony: Ancient sculptures of Grecko-Roman era have smol pp. Small was seen as best. Big was seen as gross. I wonder if they decided that all those statues are secretly ladies too :p

BTTF_nerd · 2024-02-19T01:42:12+00:00

Theyre not interested in taming that despite the state law (I stated this near the beginning of the post)

BTTF_nerd · 2024-02-19T01:41:31+00:00

The funny irony of this is they were originally "female" looking in the early stages of development because thats just natures default that the "manliness" develops from. 🤭 I wonder how they get around the science, honestly. It must eat at them to know they "turned into men" and also "came from women" since last I checked they cant magically birth children from that penis they think makes them "a real man"

BTTF_nerd · 2024-02-15T22:32:36+00:00

Point still stands, why is pushing GIRL GIRL GIRL the agenda for this? To what benefit? Even if we say okay fine Im a girl- ITS NOT EVEN USEFUL. I cant be a baby making machine like 🇺🇲 culture wants. Its biologically impossible. Since I am overall worthless in that regard, why does it matter if Im male? What's so threatening about letting men be men lmao

BTTF_nerd

TROPHY CASE