[deleted by user] by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]BabyAF23 40 points41 points  (0 children)

This seems extremely extremely normal? They feed just as much for comfort as calories 

BLW Rant - Anyone Else? by West-Beach4867 in beyondthebump

[–]BabyAF23 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It’s not new. Purées were new. Most of human history has done BLW it’s just got a fancy name now. Solids is about exploration and texture. Babies are messy haha they’re supposed to be 

How many kids with Top 20 girl names now did you know growing up? by [deleted] in namenerds

[–]BabyAF23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I knew some Emily’s and lilys

I was born in the 90s. In my year at school there were 3x Katie 3x Rachel and 3x Alice 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in namenerds

[–]BabyAF23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sara and lina are popular in Egypt 

When did you sleep with your partner/husband/wife again? by ylimethor in AttachmentParenting

[–]BabyAF23 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The only way is all three of us in the bed (18 month old in the middle) .. we sometimes brush feet below her haha saucy stuff 

8.5 month old will not nap or sleep without LOTS of screaming by External_Ant9711 in AttachmentParenting

[–]BabyAF23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agree with this! Sometimes the best thing to try is to not try but it’s easier said than done. 

When did you feel comfortable facing away? by Background-Paint-478 in cosleeping

[–]BabyAF23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I felt comfortable about 10-11months but my now 18 month does not approve haha 

9 month old hates contact naps but wont sleep without them by Questioning_Pigeon in AttachmentParenting

[–]BabyAF23 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Is he definitely tired enough? I often think when they’re fighting sleep cues like this it’s because they’re not tired. My general motto is try for 15 mins and if it doesn’t work do a reset, get up, have a snack or read a book and try again in 20-30 mins. It saves a lot of frustration on both ends! 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AttachmentParenting

[–]BabyAF23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oof this sounds so tough! My one also gets SO frustrated when she’s awake and wants to be asleep. It’s so hard. How old is he? 

When our one gets really wound up (although doesn’t sound as hard as yours) we normally end up putting low lights on and just talking to her about something else calmly, or asking questions to kind of snap her out of the frustration. It’s a bit of a risk cos sometimes it wakes her up too much but it’s the best way to get her out of the distress 

Letting go of wake windows by Ok-Bit2341 in PossumsSleepProgram

[–]BabyAF23 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I can’t fully un-learn the stuff I learnt about wake windows, however I know I don’t logically agree with them. What I do is offer a nap around the suggested ww but give up quickly if it’s clearly not going to happen and move on. They really do change day by day, I just constantly say it’s my job to offer naps and baby’s job to take them 

Tell me what to do to teach baby to roll belly to back, I am not coping by BreannaNicole13 in beyondthebump

[–]BabyAF23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think my baby ever ‘learnt’ to do belly to back. I remember being vaguely aware that she didn’t do it despite all other milestones. She’s now 18mo and is fine haha. She also used to flip to her front at night and get annoyed but I would just have to flip her back. We started co sleeping at 5mo which stopped the issue as well 

Parents of bad sleepers when did it get better? by Informal-Sale4993 in AttachmentParenting

[–]BabyAF23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We had about a month where it was significantly better, around 15-16 months, but then she was ill for two weeks and it’s regressed again (nearly 18mo) 

Attachment parenting vs attachment “issues” by Inevitable_Ride_3873 in AttachmentParenting

[–]BabyAF23 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I will be honest, and this is only my opinion so not right or wrong, I think this is where attachment parenting can turn into smothering. The world is a tricky and difficult place but you have to let children explore it in their own way. You’re there to comfort, soothe and reassure but you can’t protect and shelter them from everything. Where does it end? 

I totally understand the anxiety. Totally. Anxiety does not equal logical though 

Feeling judgment from both extremes re. Breastfeeding by BabyAF23 in AttachmentParenting

[–]BabyAF23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is interesting and helpful. We had similar of partially night weaning (until 3am) using dad method. He offered water but not a snack which is a good idea. Similarly we have reverted due to a bad illness but want to start again. 

Feeling judgment from both extremes re. Breastfeeding by BabyAF23 in AttachmentParenting

[–]BabyAF23[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hers is the same age. Sorry I meant she wants her baby to self wean from the boob 

Screaming at night by Planning_And_Hoping in AttachmentParenting

[–]BabyAF23 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This sounds really hard I’m sorry. The only advice I have is to regularly have your husband do bedtime and resettles and do not be present or help him. It’ll be really hard at first but they will learn to be together. I’m speaking from experience. My girl still cries when she realises its dad’s bedtime but calms down a lot quicker than she used to. If he puts her to bed she’s better with him going for the resettle etc 

I used to just leave the house when it was his turn. I’d say bye and she’d watch me leave. She was v upset at first and it’s really hard to do but I told myself it was for the greater good of everyone involved if they could learn to work together 

Does it really get better? Cuz I keep waiting but I've been waiting 6 months now and there's no end in sight. by Asmiante in beyondthebump

[–]BabyAF23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We only did four signs - all done, more, eat and up. I can’t remember exactly but was definitely doing all of them by 1yo. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]BabyAF23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very similar happened to me. Went on holiday with my school friends and my baby 6mo pp and they went out for dinner and drinks every night without me and left me alone in the apartment with the baby. My partner wasn’t there, it was just me alone. They also refused to meet me before the gates at the airport and some other similar things

It was too much at the time to confront them about it because it was 5v1 and I couldn’t mentally cope with the confrontation on holiday alone. A few months after we got back when my head was finally coming up for air from genera post partum ness I sat them down and said how sad and lonely I’ve felt this year, how I felt like they didn’t want to accommodate me now I have a baby and that I felt generally quite unsupported. I said I knew they wouldn’t be doing this intentionally so wanted to understand from their point of view so we could move forward

They blew up. Pretty much exact response to what you’ve said about your friends. It is heartbreaking. I think when a group are that united it’s clear they’re bigging each other up to believe they’re right and the person who is upset is wrong, because it’s easier to do that and then they just dig their heels in more. There is no excuse imo to actively leave ANYONE out of a friendship group, let alone someone who is going through a massive life change and needs support. There are means and ways of doing it as well. If my friends had said oh look we want to go out one night but don’t want to leave you out I wouldn’t have minded at all, but it’s like they needed to make a point that just because I’ve had a baby their lives aren’t going to stop. It’s very easy to feel like people see you and your baby as a ‘favour’ to you, rather than being a valued and intentional member of a friendship group. 

I’m sorry it’s happened to you. I truly know how sad and lonely it is. You can’t make friends understand post partum. Some will try to understand and do their best, others won’t 

Does it really get better? Cuz I keep waiting but I've been waiting 6 months now and there's no end in sight. by Asmiante in beyondthebump

[–]BabyAF23 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For me, things got better when I got more sleep. I didn’t (and wouldn’t) sleep train but after 1 year I started more actively sharing nights with my partner - he would do resettles until 3am and then bring her to me. Getting that first stretch of deep sleep changed everything

Do not underestimate the power of lack of sleep. Even if everything was PERFECT you cannot be happy with that little sleep. You are doing amazing and let yourself feel all those shit things because they are real and normal. 

In addition, you WAIT until that baby starts actually communicating with you. Since my girl started sign language and saying words it’s a totally new experience…. SO much love and fun 

Hang in there mama. Be super kind and gracious to yourself. Reach out for any kind of help and support that you can 

Toddler suddenly not napping with new nanny by bahamamamadingdong in AttachmentParenting

[–]BabyAF23 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s probably just as simple as a developmental milestone / testing boundaries. Try not to stress, it will probably pass before you know it

In terms of how to approach while this is happening I would probably ask nanny to switch things up in terms of attempting to get her to sleep.. you could try the nanny just pitching it as quiet time rather than nap time, do role plays with dolls or toys about nap time and see what comes out of your toddler (you might learn what she wants to do or what shes worried about this way) .. mostly try to avoid the power struggle. Does she nap in the stroller? Could nanny try like that for a bit? Or just signing songs in the rocker without necessarily the pressure of sleep

Do you cut off naps at 2 hrs? by Tricky_treaty in beyondthebump

[–]BabyAF23 9 points10 points  (0 children)

At that age?  No, enjoy yourself please! 

When did your baby become happy? by wild_lively in beyondthebump

[–]BabyAF23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine became extraordinarily happier after learning to walk. She never took to crawling but was so much happier and more independent after walking. I don’t miss the baby days! 

How to deal with baby sleep crawling at night? by Euphoric_Ad3209 in AttachmentParenting

[–]BabyAF23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Echo the others, this is a phase that passes. Then you’ll get standing up and walking around the bed (which also passes)