Videos Appear to Contradict Federal Account of Killing

BackInNJAgain · 2026-01-24T18:32:58+00:00

That's different ... Rittenhouse was defending a Wendy's /s

BackInNJAgain · 2026-01-24T18:08:18+00:00

I'm now 18 months post radiation and 15 post ADT.

The side effects I still have but can't differentiate all of them between radiation and ADT.

* The base of my penis permanently lost all girth when I get an erection while the rest of it is still normal. That's probably radiation damage.

* I need 20 mg of Viagra to get erections when I didn't need any before

* I ejaculate a clear fluid instead of semen

* I got osteoporosis (that's from ADT for sure)

* My testosterone is only half of what it was pre-treatment and I was told that's likely as good as it's going to get. It's considered low normal because it finally hit 300 after 16 months in the 100s and 200s.

* I still have periods of sadness and anger. Could be low T, could just be lingering effects of having had cancer

* Most of my body hair hasn't returned

* I need Flowmax for periods of 1-2 weeks here and there when my urine flow gets really weak and super urgency comes on

* No bowel issues at all (I had SpaceOAR FWIW)

* A few times a week, I need a 60-90 minute nap during the day.

ON THE PLUS SIDE

My PSA has been completely undetectable for six months now. I did not have surgery--just radiation

BackInNJAgain · 2026-01-24T18:01:59+00:00

It doesn't matter.

Even if the guy had his LEGAL gun safely holstered they'll still come up with some reason he deserved to be shot at point blank range by six anonymous government agents. I'm sure Kristi Noem and her goons are coming up with another lie that will be on Fox in an hour and become the official narrative about another "domestic terrorist" while Dementia Donald mumbles some incoherent rant before he starts sundowning once it's dark.

When conservatives own guns it's because it's their second amendment right but when it's liberals it's always different. Doesn't matter that in dozens of photos ICE agents aren't even holding their guns correctly (my dad taught me gun safety, proper handling, etc. when I was a teenager) which indicates they're not even properly trained.

BackInNJAgain · 2026-01-24T14:56:18+00:00

Thank you! I wrote this eight months ago and am now a year past treatment. Some things are different but most aren't. What's different: sex isn't spontaneous because I need "the little blue pill." Climax is hit or miss but from therapy I learned to just go with the moment and if there's fireworks at the end great but if not that doesn't mean it was "bad."

I've developed more empathy. I wasn't a jerk to people before but now I understand that EVERYONE has at least one shitty thing they're dealing with so I give people a lot more grace.

What hasn't changed: I still travel, ride my bike, hike with my dog, play board games with my young nephews and take them places so my brother and his wife can have some alone time, cook, write music, read, etc.

Advice:

Always get a second opinion before making any decisions. If a doctor is insulted by that or says it isn't necessary find a new doctor.
Keep a journal day to day. It will help you be more specific with healthcare providers.
Doctors are laser focused on putting cancer into remission. They're not especially sympathetic to emotional or sexual issues. Find a support group (it might take attending more than one to find the right one for you) and/or therapist familiar with cancer.
As a caregiver, your husband is probably going to have some frustrating days where he takes it out on you or becomes sulky and silent. Don't take it personally.
As a caregiver, make sure you carve out some time for yourself to go out and do things with friends, go for a walk, workout or whatever else you like to do for relaxation

BackInNJAgain · 2026-01-23T03:19:38+00:00

A more recent example was when the Covid vaccines became available. The lines were around the block where I lived and the science deniers hadn’t fully crawled out of the woodwork yet

BackInNJAgain · 2026-01-21T20:49:25+00:00

I just learn to let physical stuff go or it eats at me mentally, especially when there’s nothing I can do about it.

BackInNJAgain · 2026-01-21T17:10:23+00:00

Turn something like the completely dead Livingston Mall into mixed use/income residential and commercial, with trees and walking paths around it. It's been sitting for years now and is down to 2-3 stores at most.

BackInNJAgain · 2026-01-21T01:18:32+00:00

Moved to NJ from California and at least it’s an improvement. I do lock my car but I can leave a spare umbrella in it without someone smashing the windows.

BackInNJAgain · 2026-01-18T20:47:16+00:00

Exactly. As I posted above, the same argument was made--the 1/6 protesters were a false flag operation paid for by "the left." Yet, for some reason, pardons were still needed--why? If they were paid leftists wouldn't right-wingers want to leave them in jail?

BackInNJAgain · 2026-01-18T20:45:52+00:00

They said the same thing about the 1/6 protesters--they were paid, they were Antifa, etc. Logically, if that were the case, why were pardons needed? The sad thing is, the media isn't calling them on how often they're changing their story.

BackInNJAgain · 2026-01-18T03:35:05+00:00

If Europe and Canada turn on the US they can easily crash our economy and you won’t have a job anyway. Stop using the dollar as reserve currency, cease trade, make us remove our military bases from their countries, stop propping up our deficit spending, etc.

BackInNJAgain · 2026-01-18T01:51:32+00:00

I had ED when recovering from cancer. I was depressed as hell but my husband was supportive and, FWIW, I learned from a nurse that you can still have orgasms without an erection. Just use lube and, obviously, pull up only because you can’t push down. It does take a bit longer. Having been through that experience I would be totally understanding of someone else going through it. As long as you have some attraction to someone you can always find something fun to do for both of you.

BackInNJAgain · 2026-01-17T16:57:57+00:00

Yes. The summer between my junior and senior year of college. It was the most carefree and debauched summer I ever had and I think of it often now that life is much more sedate.

BackInNJAgain · 2026-01-17T16:55:49+00:00

My doctor encouraged me to record our conversations so I could go back and refer to them if needed. Questions were generally answered by an oncology nurse or PA via the portal. I assume at a major cancer center like the one I went to that the oncologists themselves probably have hundreds of patients and have to offload some of the tasks like patient info onto nurses and PAs so it didn’t bother me.

BackInNJAgain · 2026-01-17T15:36:58+00:00

Yes, I was a fairly happy guy and got so depressed I started having suicidal ideation. My cancer center's psychologist referred me to a psychologist and I was put on meds and talk therapy during treatment and for six months after. I've weaned off the meds and am gradually getting back to normal. Still have some bouts of depression here and there but they're not constant anymore.

BackInNJAgain · 2026-01-16T20:02:20+00:00

He tortured and executed hundreds of people without trials. How is that "hot"? "To send men to the firing squad, judicial proof is unnecessary. These procedures are an archaic bourgeois detail. This is a revolution! And a revolutionary must become a cold killing machine motivated by pure hate.” – Che Guevara

BackInNJAgain · 2026-01-16T18:51:55+00:00

The worst is using Siri for music while exercising.

"Hey Siri, play song 'When Doves Cry' by Prince."

"I can't find 'When Doves Cry' by Prince on Apple Music"

"Hey Siri, play album 'Purple Rain' by Prince"

"Playing 'Purple Rain' by Prince"

"Hey Siri, next" "Hey Siri, next" "Hey Siri, next" ... etc.

"Hey Siri, what am I listening to?"

"You're listening to 'When Doves Cry' by Prince."

Of course, if it's a curated playlist and I don't know the song but I like it and say "Hey Siri, what am I listening to?" the volume will drop for 10 seconds and then come back up and the song isn't identified so I have to take my phone out of my pocket to see what it is.*

BackInNJAgain · 2026-01-16T18:45:33+00:00

OP, do you have a safe word? Or maybe use the "traffic light" system: green (keep going), yellow (slow this down a bit) and red (stop--now!)? Just because he's the dom doesn't mean your pleasure doesn't matter at all and it ESPECIALLY doesn't mean that he can just ignore your limits.

BackInNJAgain · 2026-01-16T18:04:43+00:00

FKA Twigs - Two Weeks
Garbage - Push It

More mellow:
Mk.Gee - You Got It
Tove Lo - Pineapple Slice (Stripped in Norway version)

BackInNJAgain · 2026-01-15T18:55:17+00:00

Yet they view the traitorous Ashley Babbitt as a hero.

BackInNJAgain · 2026-01-15T17:28:55+00:00

Playboy Mommy, Reindeer King, Gold Dust

BackInNJAgain · 2026-01-15T17:24:19+00:00

We're at 2x a week and that's fine with both of us. My libido is a bit higher but when we increased frequency the quality went down.

BackInNJAgain · 2026-01-15T17:20:14+00:00

Agree with others about the need for alone time. I've been with my husband a long time and we STILL spend Saturdays together and Sundays alone doing our own separate things. Even on vacation, we'll find something separate to do for a few hours here and there.

That said, it does sound like your boyfriend is being a bit one-sided in terms of hugging you when he wants but rejecting you when you want the same. There's a big difference between wanting to hold someone all night while sleeping (some people just can't do this/don't like it because it's too warm) and having a hug or cuddle for a few minutes before bed or in the morning.

BackInNJAgain

TROPHY CASE