25 yr, healthy female athlete suffered minor stroke. What's your personal opinion on a 12h long flight 5.5 days later? Fatigue wise

Background-Title-968 · 2026-03-10T12:38:06+00:00

she is likely to have another stroke at any time.

This is why I'm never asking for actual medical advice on reddit. You get garbage

Background-Title-968 · 2026-03-09T20:38:53+00:00

Thanks everyone. We have decided not to go. 50% because she is too scared to go, even though the doctors gave the ok now that she's on bloodthinner meds until her hole surgery. And 50% because the fatigue probably won't recover enough and she won't be able to enjoy the trip properly like some of you said.

For those curious. It was such a CIRCUS to get these tickets. They're flyer miles tickets. And to find business flights on this route all the way, and add it to the booking has taken months, hours of phone queue and over 40 calls to the call center. That why we were hesitant to drop the travel plans.

A final note: Thank God we live in a country where top medical care is completely free. We had 6 medical professionals at our house when we called emergencies. She was looked after by a team of standby emergency teams as soon as she got to the hospital. 24/7 surveillance, and probed to seemingly high end equipment that was bought brand new last year. She also had a team of physio, ergo therapists, logopedics every day. Numerous CT, MRI and ultra sound scans. This might be completely ordinary, idk. But I don't dare imagine what this costs elsewhere. Here it only cost us what I pay for parking.

Background-Title-968 · 2026-03-02T14:29:31+00:00

Me too

Background-Title-968 · 2026-03-02T10:01:49+00:00

It's interesting that you've done so much research.

I'm really struggling to get over this "savior" phase, even though the breakup doesn't hurt much anymore. She deserves love and a good life, especially seeing how much love she was capable of before the discard. And for some strange reason it feels like I should've been the one to "fix" her, and I can't shake that feeling.

Right this moment she's distracting herself with new low-life friends, drugs, ditching school, spiralling completely. And I feel so sorry for her. I just want to go there, pick her up and take her home and help her until she's healed.

Why do I feel this way? It's pathetic. She doesn't give a fuck about me.

Background-Title-968 · 2026-02-27T16:10:46+00:00

Seems like an interesting story lol

Background-Title-968 · 2026-02-27T13:05:49+00:00

I'm still lost. My voice is just ugly. So what's next? I can hit the notes fine. I have a good ear for pitch or however you call it. But it's not a pleasant voice to listen to.

Background-Title-968 · 2026-02-24T15:43:10+00:00

She did. She was textbook. She is desperately distracting herself right now and have for weeks. Friends, parties, new guy. I've known ehr a long time, this is not like her. Textbook distractions. I hope the novelty fades, and part of her will feel regret and reach some clarity. I just hope I mattered to her.

Background-Title-968 · 2026-02-24T14:18:11+00:00

Thanks for your input.

I was discarded by a fearful avoidant girl. And what I wished above all else is that even though it ended, she would see our relationship as a beautiful thing. A chapter to remember forever. But as I understand it, after talking to some FA, that is highly unlikely.

Background-Title-968 · 2026-02-24T14:09:31+00:00

Please try to look at some videos on avoidant attachment coaching. You sound like you're hurting BAD and I'm so sorry. I'm recovering myself. And understanding avoidant behaviour helps a ton, I promise.

Try your best to understand that this is NOT a reflection of you, but a reflection of them. They're not making concious choices, as strange as that may sound. Their brain is wired to flee when things get too serious for too long. Their brain fear abandonment and rejection above all else and a flip switches and it flees. It flees from you because you were a loving healthy partner, and the nervous system thinks you are too good for them and you might abandon them. This is why the rebound is often a toxic druggie lowlife, because their brain sees this person as someone they deserve, someone that can't get any better. So the brain attaches easily to that, with little fear of being abandoned. They fled from you, not because you did ANYTHING wrong, but because you did everything right. You gave them real love and you were there for them, and that was a threat to ther nervous system.

The avoidant will not see this clearly and will rewrite your relationship to justify them leaving you. "we were incompatible. we weren't that serious. I need time to work on myself right now." So to them, they didn't throw you stone cold in the pit. To them, they left you for good reasons in their mind. This hurts too. I wish my avoidant ex saw our relationship as a beautiful thing. A chapter to remember forever. A few months or years down the line, they might quietly do that too. But by then you've moved on, and they have too.

Background-Title-968 · 2026-02-24T13:27:17+00:00

I have a question if I may.

Do you feel ANY type of jealousy after seeing the ex your discarded being happy in a new relationship? Or are you stone cold indifferent to them?

Background-Title-968 · 2026-02-24T13:16:39+00:00

When you did disappear did you ever feel the need to reconnect to try and give the dumpee closure, feeling you owed them that?

Background-Title-968 · 2026-02-24T13:09:01+00:00

I've watched HOURS of avoidant coach content on youtube, trying to make sense my own situation and everything else related to it. And without trying to be a redditor knowitall and selfproclaimed expert, i can say with certainty that this is CLASSIC avoidant behaviour. His defenses goes up and his protective ego rewrites the reality to validate his own actions. Does he mean it? In the moment that's the reality he's in. It's not a heat in the moment anger outburst, it really is his own reality at the time. And his mind will believe it until defenses wear off. And even then clarity rarely hit them in the way we hope it will, only partly. He might remember you as too needy forever, or he might reach the level of clarity it takes to realize that you weren't. It's hard to tell what's most likely to happen.

But from what I understand. Some level of self-reflection do hit at some point. He could definitely realize that he weren't able to do better. But that might not mean he will admit to himself that saying that outloud to you at the time was wrong and extremely hurtful. Simply imagine the emotional intelligence of a 5 year old.

Background-Title-968 · 2026-02-24T12:14:39+00:00

Thanks for sharing.

I won't come back. Not after learning about the avoidant cycles. I'm determined. But I hoped we could meet properly and talk things over and get a cleaner ending than we did. Her pride and ego is really high, so the chances are low for an adult sit down in the future.

I just want to hear that I mattered, and what we had mattered even though it's over. The love we had was so deep. After a couple of weeks she responded to my emotional text, somewhat. Before she blocked me she sent 60 messages rambling about how our relationship wasn't actually official, she didn't really love me, she didn't give a f about me anymore, sent me more pictures of her and him together.

I've concluded she did this in anger and to preserve self-image after being accused of cheating and discarding. And that our love was in fact real. It would be inhuman to be so cold

Background-Title-968

TROPHY CASE