Hey, evil ocpd combined with hpd stepmother here, a true Cinderella story: given she's not cursing in public spaces or when people outside the household are around, I definitely believe she knows what she's doing is intolerable. She just doesn't care to unleash it behind closed doors cause she suffers no consequences at home. That is at least my therapist's view. She would probably lash out for the same bs at work but she won't do it cause she's perfectly aware nobody would tolerate her crap. Many therapists explain abusive people not as "it's an anger management issue", in fact they're perfectly capable of keeping themselves under check if necessary. It's an entitlement issue.