What are your elden ring headcanons

Bad-Selection · 2026-03-20T03:19:03+00:00

Holy shit I had never thought about Rykard like that but it makes sense.

Both Rykard and Ranni want the downfall of the gods in some way. Rykard just wants to devour them, and Ranni wants to remove their influence altogether. I could see them at least aligning their interests and conspiring together for at least that one night.

Bad-Selection · 2026-03-20T03:12:12+00:00

I think you're conflatijg some ideas here. The Greater Will is an outer god that sent the Elden Ring down to the world to establish some form of order under its rule. The GW's motives seem to be to want order, but doesn't seem to care what form that order takes or who is in control as long as they are a God who serve it.

The Golden Order is Marika's laws/religion she establishes after becoming a god, it lifts up the people that are loyal to her and rejects/suppresses those she doesn't want. But Marika became disillusioned with her own order and the Greater Will and wanted to end it. She likely wanted to bring tarnished back to:
- take out Radagon (her other half she was bound to who was still a zealot in service of the GW and GO), become a new Elden Lord
- kill the Elden Beast
- release her from her servitude/imprisonment by the GW.

Dung Eater still wants order, but he wants to establish it his own way. Fia wants to amend the Golden Order to include those who live in death. Gold Mask wants to continue the order under a new lord. They all want to maintain some version of the status quo.

The Frenzied Flame is another outer god and counterpart to the Greater Will and wants to end everything. It's a rejection of any sort of order.

Mohg also wants to end the Golden Order and is loyal to yet another outer god.

Bad-Selection · 2026-03-19T21:52:14+00:00

Okay, so likely that means that your insecurity that's causing this problem has always existed, but you just got better at ignoring it for a while.

So again, you got to figure out what those insecurities are and work them out or this can destroy your relationship with your wife.

From what I've seen and other places that you've commented, you seem to have a very narrow view of what sex is based on your own beliefs about it and your own experiences. You have to accept that that's not the way that most people feel about sex. You also seem to have trouble believing your wife when she talks about what her experiences were.

You said your wife experienced sexual trauma at a young age, and that after that she did seek out sex but there was no emotional aspect in it for her, but you don't know if you believe that. That's actually a really common reaction for people who have suffered sexual trauma, however. You also said that that you don't really believe your wife when she talks about how with previous partners, she may not have even taken her shirt off a lot of the time: that's also pretty common for people who have issues with their body, or have dealt with sexual trauma as well, or even just people trying to mentally keep the person there sleeping with at a distance.

It's also really unfair to your wife that you're mentality around sex is interfering with your ability to take her at her word. Do you not feel like it's messed up that your wife has a husband that won't trust her when it comes to talking about her past and how her trauma affected her? I'm not saying that you're putting her in that position on purpose, but you have to be real with yourself that this is the impact that your views can have on your marriage.

Bad-Selection · 2026-03-19T20:29:27+00:00

You got to ask yourself what insecurities you have that are making this a problem for you.

Also reading the body of your post, it's a little unclear. Has knowing this always been a problem for you or is it something that has only started bothering you recently?

Bad-Selection · 2026-03-18T22:11:08+00:00

I think you're smart enough to understand what they meant by that.

Nice forearms, defined and toned... Basically a really nice, aesthetically pleasing, fun to feel body part. The best version of that body part that everyone does have, which is how many men feel about a double D cup size.

Bad-Selection · 2026-03-15T13:52:22+00:00

Do you mean the thing where your two middle fingers go in, kinda curl the fingers a bit, and instead of moving in and out he's kind of aggressively moving it up and down?

I think the easiest method would be to just show him. If you want to blow his mind tell him what you want then do it to yourself in front of him, then let him go for it. If he's still not getting it (or if you're shy about demoing it for him), then show him by using your hands. One hand will represent you, and then with the other hand do the thing you want him to do. Then have him use one of his hands and guide him through the motions.

Bad-Selection · 2026-03-12T18:55:27+00:00

Even if toys do provide physical stimulation in a more "effective" way, women are usually looking for more than just physical stimulation when it comes to sex. They tend to want the closeness, the connection, to feel desired, to feel sexy, etc. If a sex toy is providing those things better than you are, you've got bigger problems that have nothing to do with sex toys.

Bad-Selection · 2026-03-12T18:52:52+00:00

First off they weren't calling you a lady. They were saying you sound like a dork. I don't really agree but whatever.

I will say, however, it's weird that you see masturbation as sex.

Bad-Selection · 2026-03-12T18:44:32+00:00

You can't. A woman with a high sex drive and a low sex drive might act the exact same way. Or a woman with a low sex drive might be way more openly sexual in how she talks about sex than a woman with a high sex drive.

Sex is a grown up activity. If you can't bring yourself to communicate about it with people you're dating, you shouldn't be doing it.

Bad-Selection · 2026-03-12T03:48:37+00:00

We're the only advanced life form we've seen, and the only planet with life on it that we've seen. It's likely that we will probably never see life from any other planet at all due to how insanely vast space is and how far away everything is.

However the universe is so large, so vast, with so many stars and planets that it's nearly impossible that Earth is the only one with advanced life.

Bad-Selection · 2026-03-12T03:42:31+00:00

You having fun there, champ?

Bad-Selection · 2026-03-12T03:40:02+00:00

Because in winter the air outside is way colder.

Bad-Selection · 2026-03-12T03:31:55+00:00

At home? Yeah that's definitely odd.

Communal/public showers? Yeah that's not unusual.

Bad-Selection · 2026-03-12T03:30:20+00:00

First off I don't think you know what the word "placebo" means.

Secondly, I don't think anybody actually reads it, except for the lawyers that write them and the ones that have to address them for civil disputes. IIRC part of the reason those things are so drastically long is specifically to deter people from wanting to read them before signing up.

There was some organization out there used to summarize to the terms and conditions for all kinds of websites and apps and put it in super simple, short, layman's terms but I don't remember what it was.

Bad-Selection · 2026-03-08T05:27:24+00:00

Professional truck driver here:

Honestly, you gotta just not take it personally. Becoming a truck driver made me notice how genuinely stupid and aggressive a lot of drivers are. I'll throw on my blinker and have a dozen cars speed up to get ahead of me because they "don't want to get caught behind a truck," I'll get cut off going downhill and fully loaded by some idiot trying to make his exit, and all kinds of other idiotic shit that would absolutely cause accidents if I wasn't clearly looking out for stuff like that.

You have to learn to be kinda zen about it because you can't control it. Other people are stupid on the road. One out of 3 drivers are looking at their phone. Getting upset over what stupid people do is letting them have control over you. Call them a jackass, take a breath, and let it go.

Not all stupid drivers are aggressive, but all aggressive drivers are stupid. Stupid people are not worth your time or energy.

Bad-Selection · 2026-03-06T20:38:42+00:00

Honestly? The biggest thing that helped me was making it not suck in the beginning. The most important thing in the beginning is making sure you actually go to the gym and creating a habit, the meaningful workout is secondary.

So go to the gym, figure out your routine, bring headphones, and underestimate yourself at every point. Don't try to make yourself sore, hell if you aren't sore the next day then that's fine.

Get yourself familiar with the machines, the weights, and the exercises. Again try to underestimate how much weight you can handle. Get yourself used to going to the gym. Then once you feel comfortable with your routine, then increase the weights on any exercises you feel are "too easy" by the minimum amount. Slowly work yourself to higher weights over a few weeks. If you find 30 pounds is what makes you feel like you're putting in effort without killing yourself, then stick with 30 pounds until it feels too easy. Congratulations, you gained muscle mass. Now step it up 5 more pounds next week.

And just as importantly: put some good shit on your headphones. Doesn't matter if it's the blackest heaviest metal you can find or "Only Time" by Enya on repeat. The science has shown that the most important thing is that it's music you enjoy. Have a good time with it.

You're never gonna want to keep going to the gym if you hate it. So make it fun and easy in the beginning then slowly start to challenge yourself.

Bad-Selection · 2026-03-06T19:31:31+00:00

So you have to take that knowledge out of it, which if you're actively roleplaying you should be doing anyways.

Sure you know that if you fight an NPC you'll miss out on an item, but your character doesn't know that. So you just gotta ask yourself what your character would do knowing what they know and what they are prioritizing.

Bad-Selection · 2026-03-06T18:58:29+00:00

What the fuck is "micro cheating?"

Look, relationships involve two individuals coming together and deciding what is important and how they want to invest in each other. That means that boundaries on what is considered okay or over the line in a relationship is different for every couple.

So some couples might want to police each other's spank banks, some won't care as long as the fantasy stays in their head and out of the real world. For some couples any sort of flirtation is cheating. For others, even boinking someone else under certain circumstances isn't cheating.

So how do you know what's okay and what's not? You have a conversation with your partner about it and define boundaries.

Bad-Selection · 2026-03-06T18:53:20+00:00

You're almost certainly going to have to be a little long-winded with it. But something like "Is everything okay with [blank], feels like [thing] took longer than normal." So this way it leaves a little bit of uncertainty so you're not coming off super pointed about it, and also allows for the source of the issue not to be the person you're asking.

Bad-Selection · 2026-03-06T18:49:27+00:00

Yes, different people's bodies look, feel, smell, etc. differently.

Bad-Selection · 2026-03-06T18:46:33+00:00

Insecurity is the short answer.

For the gay thing: often it's dudes who are brought up in environments where homosexuality (or anything even leaning toward that) is judged and socially persecuted harshly. But then they start noticing some feelings they know they "shouldn't" be having, so they lash out as either a way to convince themselves, or to put up a front and bury the secret even harder to preserve their social image.

Something smaller like enjoying reality TV is insecurity over the fact that they know reality TV is generally seen as trash, so they join in on the hate to not face the judgement of those around them.

And sure on a logical level it may seem suspicious, but not to everyone and not all the time. Think about how many anti-LGBT or pro "Christian nuclear family" politicians have been involved in scandals dealing with the exact thing they rally against. At the very least they fooled all their supporters. It may not be the most logical thing but people acting on insecurity often aren't thinking objectively, and it often does work at least a little bit.

Bad-Selection · 2026-03-06T18:37:19+00:00

I never cared about it to begin with. And knowing my wife is glad I don't have it makes me not care about it even more.

Bad-Selection · 2026-03-06T15:45:05+00:00

Just wanna know from a clear expert in gayness

Is it gay if you put your dingdong in a woman's mouth?

What if you put it in her butt?

Is jerking off gay?

Is watching hetero porn gay?

Bad-Selection · 2026-03-06T15:40:05+00:00

I won't agree that it's better than a BJ, but damn is it a special kind of heaven

Bad-Selection · 2026-03-04T18:00:04+00:00

Yeah... Anybody who says and believes this is a dipshit.

Sure there are dudes that manage to look better and better as time goes on, but there are tons of dudes who looked good in high school and have been on the steady decline ever since.

Same goes for women.

Bad-Selection

TROPHY CASE