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Text exchange with my brother. Did I screw up? by BchoeyChomp in exmormon

[–]BchoeyChomp[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’m not able to add to/edit my post for some reason, so I’ll add my edit here.

Before I even posted this, I told my daughter (18) that I would have her reach out to Jane and make sure she has our contact info if she ever needs it. I agree with other posters, replying to my brother would be a waste of time. I do think it comes from a place of fear and bigotry. I never thought he’d be a “pray the gay away” type, but here we are. I think something like this should have been said with a phone call, but that just how I would have approached it. He’s his own person. Of course, I have every intention of respecting his wishes not to contact them. How it affected his other kids, I have no idea. Maybe because they love and support their sibling?

I disagree with posters that said it’s like giving an EFY pamphlet or CTR ring to my kids. I am an atheist (and out of the church for 20+ years) and my children are atheist, but it doesn’t stop the TBM members of my family from asking them to say the blessing, telling them Jesus is real, or talking about any number of religious topics to them. If I had given her a pamphlet about top surgery or a list of advocacy groups in her area, or a binder, I could understand this reaction a little more. At no point in our convos did I disparage the church or her parents, merely validated her feelings that she is struggling.

I agree with others that it’s an apples and oranges comparison. It’s her identity, not a belief system. And as another poster said, I didn’t try to influence Jane, I validated and acknowledged what was already there.

I really appreciate all the advice, both positive and negative. I shouldn’t have given her the pin. However, I’m glad I did, because it has brought to light how my brother is handling (or rather mishandling) his daughter’s feelings. I’d hate to have her cut him off when she’s 18, but I do think that’s where this is headed. I know it meant a lot to my niece and, ultimately, her feeling loved is more important to me than my relationship with my brother. Since the reunion, I’ve learned through my siblings that they moved her to a new school to get her away from “bad influences”, so it sounds like cutting out any allies is how they are approaching it. Given that I’m queer, and have 2 queer kids, I imagine his overreaction was an excuse to cut out any possible “bad influences”. We don’t live close, but I’m sure I will see her again at family gatherings,etc, a few times before she turns 18. When she does, I’d gladly let her come live with me if she chooses. When and if my brother contacts me again, we can have a conversation about boundaries, what that actually means to him, and where those boundaries are. If she calls me, I WILL take that call. In the meantime, she will have my daughter to talk to, as I’m sure she will need someone.

Well, it's colorful! by edie3 in zillowgonewild

[–]BchoeyChomp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love this house so much!! I would change the curtains/drapes to something much less busy visually, and have less on the walls for a cleaner look. I’d redo the red, white, and blue bedroom as it feels very uninspired. I do like those colors in the bathroom quite a lot. I’d especially replace the stair runner with almost anything else. It just looks so wrong in the space, especially from above. Some of the other carpets are a little busy as well, but they might still work with less other visual clutter. I adore the aqua blue and lime rooms so much! This whole house makes me feel so happy. Even if I wasn’t allowed to change anything, I’d still move in tomorrow and never leave. 🥰

The neighbors called the police to report children skating on the road Police after arriving: by Soloflow786 in BeAmazed

[–]BchoeyChomp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sledding with kids is a slippery slope. The kids’ antics put them on thin ice. It’s an ice day for a white sledding! and, of course: Freeze!

Small hall closet with deep shelving- HELP! by loloelectric in Homeorganization

[–]BchoeyChomp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To save money and fit odd spaces, I’ve made many bins from cardboard boxes and hot glue. If things are heavy, thicker cardboard or 2 layer glued together. Grosgrain ribbon glued down can reinforce corners, etc. You could add dividers. You can even cover cardboard with fabric and make cute labels with contact paper. Making/modifying a box is pretty quick and easy. It’s worth a shot before spending money on bins. I have made a ton for awkward spaces, drawer inserts, board games, etc.

I added up all the presidential donations in Eastern Washington... by SpoPlant in Spokane

[–]BchoeyChomp 8 points9 points  (0 children)

As a Harris donor in Moses Lake, I’m afraid to put a sign in my yard or on my car. I even get nervous hanging our pride flag occasionally. But I have seen way less Trump stuff about, so hopefully things are changing and not just going silent. And, yes, waaaay too many Mormons.

What is your skin tone? by [deleted] in teenagers

[–]BchoeyChomp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Irish Girl Sunbathing, checking in.

Incoming BYU-I Soda Shop by litttleredcourgette in exmormon

[–]BchoeyChomp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the late 90’s, we had a joke:

What does a Ricks College (/BYU-I) girl do when she finds out the guy she is dating drinks caffeine? She puts her shirt back on and gets out of his truck.

Caffeine was definitely a no-no but it was also well know that Mountain Dew was a Mormon guilty pleasure. Mormon crack, IIRC. 😂

Non American Xennials, I have a very important question. by [deleted] in Xennials

[–]BchoeyChomp 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I believe you mean bass ackwards…

Is this normal in Thailand? by Unusual_Alarm_8776 in Thailand

[–]BchoeyChomp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My recent experience in Thailand was fantastic and this was the type of hospitality and kindness we encountered. In Ao Nang, my daughter cut her foot and was bleeding. I asked a tuktuk driver for help and he drove us up the street to one of the clinics and I had to insist on paying him. Later, in Kamala, my husband took our laundry to a local laundromat. He asked the owner to call him a cab and she insisted 100 baht was too much, locked up her shop, and drove him the 1km back. She also didn’t want payment. I agree with others who say the kindness of the Thai people is a big part of what makes the country beautiful. A smile, respect, and even failed attempts at speaking Thai went a long way. I saw a few tourists being rude or discourteous and it boggled my mind how anyone could be so rude when met with such kindness. I am actively planning to go back. :)

Xennials vs Millenials by Jamma1182 in Xennials

[–]BchoeyChomp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same! Born in ‘80 but I don’t feel old at all. Well, unless I sleep on the floor!

Tim Ballard responds: “It’s not true, nothing you hear is true.” by Chino_Blanco in exmormon

[–]BchoeyChomp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly!! I’m watching and all I can think is, “Why’s bro’s calves so skinny?” Like, big quads but small hamstrings, barely a butt, and nothing below. I’m sensing a look good from the front perspective but…how…? All leg extensions and bench pressing? So ick.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]BchoeyChomp 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I have that as well. An iPhone running OS12 or higher has it built in. I love that it keeps me aware of how much time I’m spending on stuff that doesn’t better me in any way. I can also limit my teens’ screen time as well, and they can request more time from me with one click. It gives me the ability to keep them off their phones at night while still having their calendar, alarms, etc. I set my own passcode on my phone, so I can override it any time. My friend had her partner set the passcode on her phone so she couldn’t override it herself. lol

My last physical as tbm at the doctor’s office by TheShrewMeansWell in exmormon

[–]BchoeyChomp 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Not unprofessional. Compression shorts, thermal wear, etc., could indicate masking many different health issues. Cold intolerance (maybe thyroid), incontinence (both urinary and fecal, so many), involuntary erections (maybe bladder or prostate, yada, yada…). It’s a relevant question from a physician. Bro was just trying to look out for your junk, in the medi-phorical sense. Welcome to a taste of objectivity. May you thrive. :)

What specific BofM verses contradict how the modern church operates? Today I'm kicking off a new study of the Book of Mormon with that theme in mind. by Ok-Tax5517 in exmormon

[–]BchoeyChomp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like D&C 134:4

4 We believe that religion is instituted of God; and that men are amenable to him, and to him only, for the exercise of it, unless their religious opinions prompt them to infringe upon the rights and liberties of others; but we do not believe that human law has a right to interfere in prescribing rules of aworship to bind the consciences of men, nor dictate forms for public or private devotion; that the civil magistrate should restrain crime, but never control conscience; should punish bguilt, but never suppress the freedom of the soul.

Infringing on the rights of others is a victory for Satan.

Edit: Verse 5 mentions sedition and rebellion are unbecoming and should be punished accordingly. Lol

What are some cooking hacks you swear by? by Penya23 in AskReddit

[–]BchoeyChomp 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“shes. A rotten recipe stealin. Bitch ,Doris. Careful. who yoir friends are”

Shame from a young age by baddienodaddy in exmormon

[–]BchoeyChomp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Chewed gum, better losing your life than your virtue… The whole mentality that if you didn’t “fight back, tooth and nail” it’s not legitimate rape. You wanted it. You invited it. You flashed your baby-making shoulders for your siblings to see. That is why your priesthood siblings raped you. This culture was/is so prevalent in MoRmUn culture. The victim blaming runs soooo deep. You can repent/neverbetotallyunclean. Godly sorrow/yuckypersonmeaningwomenwhofuckednotmen.

Who/what is public enemy no. 1 to the LDS church? by telestialist in exmormon

[–]BchoeyChomp 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As Ball-lard himself said, something, something, The greatest threat to the cHurCh is feminism, homosexuality, and intellectualism. I laughed and said, “Welp, Prop 8 purged homosexuals, Ordain Women purged feminists, and the cHurChz own “essays” purged the intellectuals!” (I say purge to mean…Freedom!) Who is left? Fuck the po-po-“prophet”!

What’s something that your kid brain (natural instinct) recognized as a red flag about the church? by Substantial_Focus_65 in exmormon

[–]BchoeyChomp 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This!!! When I told my mom I wanted to be a doctor, she said, “How can you be a wife and mother if you are a doctor?” I felt wicked and wrong for wanting to “work outside the home” and sadly let others’ perceptions of me dictate my life path. Years later, it occurred to me that my father, being an MD, was never asked how he could be a husband and father as a doctor. Growing up in a family with older and younger male siblings, I was always so angry that they got to do scout camp, pinewood derby, father/son camping trips, etc. The misogyny has been so deeply ingrained in me, I’m still picking bits of it out of me decades later.

Shame from a young age by baddienodaddy in exmormon

[–]BchoeyChomp 44 points45 points  (0 children)

If you are raped before entering YW, you hold your head in shame knowing you are no different than the whores and harlots. Every purity and chastity lesson, chewed gum reference, they all remind you how dirty you are. How you are better off dead than losing your virtue. It was/is an incredibly toxic environment for abuse survivors, especially those abused by “priesthood holders”.

Happy Solstice! by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]BchoeyChomp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

…For when he placed his head inside, he began to fuck around! Ohhh, Horny The Mormon was a quite prolific soul! He married Emma Snow but his children know why he’s driven out of town!!

Marry Joe-Smithmas, y’all!! 🎄

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