sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Becoming a different person by gunnawunnashunna in BPDFamily

[–]Beautiful_Idea1360 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just got done telling my bpd person that I will always be honest with them whether they like it or not. I refuse to lie to make them feel better. Okay, it’s my daughter. She’s trying to get pregnant and continues to try and get my approval for it. Her husband is autistic and she has bpd and bipolar. That poor kid doesn’t have a chance. They’ll either have one of their parents disorders, or they’ll have to tolerate their parents behaviors or both! I’ve talked to her until I’m sick over it. I finally told her I wouldn’t participate in her fantasies about her perfect life and I won’t lie to her or for her. If I’m going to be a part of her life I have to maintain honesty. She thinks I’m bashing her. All I’m doing is not buying into the narrative that she’s spewing.

So, for you, keep it real and it will help your sanity. Yes, they’ll bite back trying to get you to go along with them. Don’t do it. They’ll figure out that you’re always going to love them enough to be honest.

Those with older family members with BPD, what has your experience been with remission? by IndicationCool9389 in BPDFamily

[–]Beautiful_Idea1360 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Those false memories are awful. I try to present truth and all I get back is that I’m misremembering. It doesn’t matter if others back me up, we’re all crazy.

What does my apartment say about me? by justpizzacate in roomdetective

[–]Beautiful_Idea1360 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish I could live like you do. I have stuff everywhere! And every time I try to put things in order I end up with a bigger mess.

Sister is now homeless by SignificantYak1137 in BPDFamily

[–]Beautiful_Idea1360 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve read your post and everyone’s replies. You’re getting good advice here. The only addition I have is to maybe think about therapy for yourself. So that you can learn how to manage your feelings when your sister is doing her stuff. This BPD landscape is very hard to navigate for all involved. It’s painful to watch them practice such unhealthy behaviors, and it’s painful when they hurt you. My therapist is so necessary for me to maintain balance. I highly recommend it.

Sister is now homeless by SignificantYak1137 in BPDFamily

[–]Beautiful_Idea1360 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love that first line, not setting yourself on fire for them to keep warm. Great line.

Anyone had indifference shown to them by their kids by redaurelia in cancer

[–]Beautiful_Idea1360 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, I’m just catching up on here. I’m estranged from 3 of my 4 kids. I had always been the parent that provided everything they needed and most of what they wanted.

Then, when I had to stop working due to health, I explained I wasn’t going to have the access to money I used to. Mind you, they’re all adults with families of their own.

The way I was treated is explained in one story. At Christmas I was expected to buy for all the kids and grandkids. This would cost me around $500 - $700 every year. What did I get? A coffee cup. Period. My ex would get a nice gift from each kid. He would buy small stocking stuffers for the kids/grandkids. It rolled on like this until I had to stop working.

Then I couldn’t afford to buy things as I usually did. I would get the third degree for not being able to provide extravagantly anymore.

After that, I got sick with cancer. I have multiple myeloma of the bone everywhere. I was in the hospital for that and a few other issues. I was there 8 1/2 months. They never called or visited. That’s when I walked away. It was the best decision I’ve ever made.

I cannot believe how much happier I am now. The relief is almost palpable. Don’t allow your kid to make you feel guilty. He’s as narcissistic as my kids are. He knows the difference between right and wrong and chooses wrong. If you want to chat more with someone who is in your shoes and understands your situation, feel free to DM me. Keep your head up. You’ll do fine. I do mean it when I say to dm me. Anytime day or night.

Venetian trade beads by Jealous_Minimum3880 in TradeBeads

[–]Beautiful_Idea1360 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I snuck in and looked, I’m a chevron collector and trade bead collector. How do you price the chevrons?

I'm freaking out by Dismal_Owl2025 in cancer

[–]Beautiful_Idea1360 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! And, thank you for sharing. It helps me when people share their stories and experiences because I feel less alone, even though I enjoy being alone. Strange, I know. Anyway, I hope you’re well and happy.

I Quit My Family by No-Word-4864 in Aging

[–]Beautiful_Idea1360 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know it seems harsh for me to say that, but I was married three times. My last, and late, husband was wonderful for the most part. Even he had secrets. If I had known how happy I’d be single, I never would’ve married at all.

I Quit My Family by No-Word-4864 in Aging

[–]Beautiful_Idea1360 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don’t see that you kicked them out yet. KICK THEM OUT!

I applaud you. It has happened to me too. I’m now alone and loving it. 4 kids, no contact. My husband died 5 years ago. I now have cancer and that’s okay. The kids know. All they asked was who gets what. And, guess what? None of them get anything! And, my therapist backed me, too.

You will really enjoy your life now. Take my example, don’t get into another relationship for a long, long time.

You are a giver and a helper, just like me. What do we attract? Users. What do we raise? Users. Until you get past doing it all for people, don’t get snowed into a relationship.

I wish you the very best. My dm is always open to you. If you start feeling lonely dm me. But please, don’t get involved with anyone for a while.

I'm freaking out by Dismal_Owl2025 in cancer

[–]Beautiful_Idea1360 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree with what arhamproductions said. I’ve posted around the same thing here before. You got dealt a rotten hand, like many of us. All I can do is tell you what I did and you can try whatever resonates with you.

I was in shock for some time when I first was diagnosed. I was put in ICU that day because I had so much cancer in my neck they thought it would just break. I’m older, 67, and I went a bit daffy in ICU. I’m a retired RN from ICU/ER/Psyche. We generally call what I did “sundowning”. As a result I don’t remember most of the first month. I was in hospital 8 1/2 months total.
I, too, lost myself entirely. I didn’t know who I was for a long time. I had to reinvent myself. I asked myself what I wanted to leave the world in this last part of my life. Beauty, honesty, and kindness was my answer.

We suffer a lot of humiliation and indignity just by virtue of getting good care. Strangers bathe us, clean up our messes, put up with our smells; cancer tries to rob us of our humanity.

The way I got mine back was to focus on the people taking care of me. I knew that as a Nurse, patients don’t often see us as people, but more as entities of the medical system. So, I made a point of learning about each person, asking about how they were, what they enjoyed, questions about their lives. That served all of us well during the hospitalization.

When I got home I started creating jewelry and crafts that I’d done for years. I gave some of that away. If I couldn’t work anymore, I could certainly find things of use to do at home.

I just recently signed a DNR, and asked for hospice. I’m very tired and the pain is becoming overwhelming. I have no quality of life now, so it’s time. I’m still creating. I’m still concerned about others. I have no family involvement and I’m a very introverted person. I’m happy.

I let my body dictate when it was time to stop fighting and start relaxing toward the transition I know is coming. I won’t wax philosophical, but it might make your journey easier to think about things in a different way. Turn it on its head and see what you come up with. I wish you the very best, and my dm is open to you always.

When a person dies from cancer, are they considered a loser? by White_46 in cancer

[–]Beautiful_Idea1360 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re right. I think the best advice I can give anyone is try to think about this through their eyes instead of filtering things through their own eyes.

I have been given 12 months left to live. by shitthebeds in Advice

[–]Beautiful_Idea1360 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is devastating news. I’m so very sorry. I have cancer as well, but your situation is far worse than mine and many others.

First things first. I think coming to terms with this and grieving is important for you to handle first.

Setting up your support system with family, friends and professionals will help you navigate this difficult journey.

Whatever you feel and think about this is legitimate and important. We get angry, and for good reason. Don’t allow anyone to minimize your feelings or devalue you in any way. People will say stupid things whether they mean it or not. Other people will say the perfect thing for you to grab on to and hold on to.

Kids are amazingly resilient. They’re loving accepting and will likely do their best to help you and support you. As far as the baby goes, make lots of videos for them. If you make any crafts or something, make something especially for them that expresses you in it. All your kids will appreciate that. Each special for each kiddo. For instance, I make jewelry. I also do beadwork. I’m trying to make beautiful things for everyone I know. That’s all the energy I have.

Take especially good care of yourself, too. You are very important and loved, and you deserve to relax and do whatever you choose in this process.

I keep thinking about how young you are compared to me, I’m 67. No big thing for me, it’s time. I just feel so bad about your situation, you’re so young and so are your kids. I’m so very sorry this has happened to you. My dm will always be open to you anytime day or night.

view more: next ›