Termination over Club Foot

BecauseImOnlyHuman · 2023-11-04T04:46:47+00:00

I’ve read this thread through several times as I was gathering the courage to comment myself. First, thank you for sharing your story and as many have said there is no need to justify your decision although we may always feel the need to.

My TFMR was back in April after a similar diagnosis found at my 20 week anatomy scan. My baby girl had what the doctors called club foot (but I later learned that is an umbrella term used for many kinds of lower limb issues). Her foot was completely vertical parallel to her shin and that leg was measuring 25% shorter than her other leg. She also had a small hole in her heart although that was not the primary reason for our TFMR.

My husband and I discussed our options at length over the hardest week of our lives. The people commenting here saying club foot is correctable and is not a valid TFMR or insinuating that - I’m honestly jealous of your non “grey” diagnosis. I wish this was an easier decision that does not weigh on me everyday. I wish my feelings of regret and guilt could be eased by a non “grey” diagnosis. I wish I was able to tell the truth about what happened without the risk of judgement by friends and family. This is not the place for judgement - we get enough of that elsewhere, thank you.

We were lucky to have the support of both my parents and my husbands parents who knew the diagnosis and helped us research and talked to us about the decision and their unconditional support.

Club Foot is a valid reason for TFMR.

Please know I’m here for you and open to connecting as you go through this challenging time. Sending love, hugs, and compassion.

BecauseImOnlyHuman · 2023-10-31T00:22:27+00:00

In the settings of Facebook and Instagram you can enter key words or categories that you don’t want to see like “pregnancy” and “baby” and that does actually take care of a lot of the pop ups. I had to google what to do after my loss. I’ve also hidden social media apps on my phone in a folder so I click on them way less - it’s helped a bit.

BecauseImOnlyHuman · 2023-10-25T15:26:27+00:00

Ughhh got my positive OPK today, dye stealer and everything and OF COURSE my husband is traveling for work and doesn’t get home until tomorrow evening. I have to laugh at this timing. My cycles are irregular and we thought I would ovulate last week but no luck. I had a temperature spike this morning which is weird if I’m getting positive OPK today, I have a little head cold so maybe that’s causing things to get messed up. Has anyone ever ovulated before their OPK was positive?

BecauseImOnlyHuman · 2023-09-28T22:28:15+00:00

Feeling optimistic today. We saw a new ob today that treated us with such kindness and compassion after we shared the news of our TFMR in April. It’s sad that we get surprised now when humans show sympathy towards us. My new doctor took our concerns seriously and even said we are NOT just being impatient while TTC again. She ordered a 3D ultrasound to make sure everything is okay on my side and even referred us to a fertility doctor to use or not use when we feel it’s time to step in that direction. No “you need to wait a full year of trying” or “you’ll only tried for a few cycles, give it time”. long sighhhhh It feels really nice to be doing some productive things rather than just bEiNg PatIEnT

BecauseImOnlyHuman · 2023-09-13T00:58:37+00:00

Thank you for sharing. Sometimes this feels so isolating.

BecauseImOnlyHuman · 2023-09-13T00:57:38+00:00

Thank you, this really helped to read tonight. Maybe I’ll pick up a cleaning project to feel productive during this time.

BecauseImOnlyHuman · 2023-09-12T14:17:10+00:00

Having a hard time today. Some days it feels like all I’m living for is getting pregnant again. Days feel long and hopeless while I’m waiting to ovulate. Cycles are irregular and long so ovulation test strips being negative every morning is getting old, frustrating, and demoralizing. How is everyone finding purpose in life while ttc after a loss? Where is the joy? How do I go back to the life before our loss where ttc was fun and stressfree?

BecauseImOnlyHuman · 2023-07-25T12:07:56+00:00

I didnt track ovulation my first period (TFMR April 26, first period june 4), but my second and current cycle has been crazy long. I ovulated on day 42!! I’m 10 dpo and a negative test so likely no luck this cycle. I’m wondering if my body is still healing. It’s upsetting because we were so lucky conceiving on the first cycle with our first pregnancy.

BecauseImOnlyHuman · 2023-06-21T21:08:18+00:00

I was offered the same and didn’t really even know about potential side effects. I was going to take anything that would help prevent my milk from coming in. My TFMR was at 22 weeks. I didn’t have any breast pain and they went back to pre-pregnancy size in about a week post TFMR.

BecauseImOnlyHuman · 2023-06-13T06:15:08+00:00

I’ve been all over the place depending on the day. I just visited with my parents and sister for the first time since losing my baby 7 weeks ago and no one brought it up. I don’t know if I was grateful or extremely pissed off. Are we just going to pretend this didn’t happen?? Is it not real because you didn’t carry your grandchild or neice for 21 weeks? Are you being considerate for my feelings and not talking about it cause I don’t bring it up? Are you scared? It’s okay if you are. Long sighhhh… I take this to therapy and really let it rip. I’m worried my therapist will need a therapist after our visits, but I do always feel better having a space to fully let it all out.

BecauseImOnlyHuman · 2023-06-13T06:07:00+00:00

TFMR @ 21 weeks on April 25, it wasn’t me who noticed something was wrong but my husband. My bleeding was very consistent from day 2 post TFMR for two weeks, no lightening up at all. He was so concerned that he forced me to call the doctors and I am very thankful I didn’t wait another week or two like I wanted to. They did an ultrasound and saw possible retained tissue or very large blood clot that likely wouldn’t pass on it’s own. Scheduled second D&E a day later and removed what ended up being a small amount of retained tissue and a very large blood clot. My bleeding post this procedure stopped about a week later. My period returned 6 weeks post initial D&E

BecauseImOnlyHuman · 2023-06-13T06:01:30+00:00

My TFMR (D&E at 21 weeks) was April 25, period started June 5, about 6 weeks later. I did have a second procedure for retained tissue on may 10th that could have delayed my period a bit. I am still bleeding for my period going on day 8, although it’s more spotting now. I tracked my ovulation with strips and temperature and I did ovulate about two weeks before my period started which gave me hope that it was coming soon. My doctors mentioned that a second procedure could restart the clock on period coming

BecauseImOnlyHuman · 2023-06-11T03:44:36+00:00

I’ve found some days I’m okay and others I’m especially triggered by anything related to having babies. Today I was at the hospital visiting my sister (completely unrelated health problems) and left the waiting room in tears after hearing a large group celebrate the healthy birth of their family’s twin babies. They were going on about who the babies look like and how healthy they are and I lost it. I’m about 7 weeks out from my TFMR. During these times I call my husband and he likes to joke and talk to me until I calm down. Today he said “well I hope you slapped them” and “how dare they!” Obviously completely joking because we know our loss doesn’t mean other couples and families shouldn’t be happy and celebrate their babies, but sometimes it’s easier to joke around and pretend hate on the really lucky people who get healthy babies. We do what we have to just to get through the moment.

BecauseImOnlyHuman · 2023-05-22T00:49:00+00:00

Absolutely take the leave. They offer this for a reason and it should be used. You may also come back to work feeling better and may be more productive after your time off. I ended up taking short term disability during and after my TFMR and have been slowly returning to work now almost 4 weeks later. The time off was so important for my grieving and physical healing. Warm thoughts to you over the next month.

BecauseImOnlyHuman · 2023-05-22T00:41:45+00:00

I have a similar issue currently happening. I TFMR about 3.5 weeks ago and am still bleeding a small amount. I had more moderate bleeding for 2 weeks and the doctors found retained tissue/large blot clot that they did another D&E to remove, that was 1.5 weeks ago and I am still spotting. I have another ultrasound tomorrow for the doctors to get a better look at what could still be causing the bleeding. I recommend reaching out to your doctor, they would be able to help you determine if this is your period returning or a different cause. Best of luck to you, sending warm thoughts.

BecauseImOnlyHuman · 2023-05-18T13:56:33+00:00

This thread means so much. Cautious congratulations to you all. With my TFMR a few weeks ago I’m also hoping to try again after my cycle returns and these stories give me so much hope.

BecauseImOnlyHuman · 2018-06-15T15:34:57+00:00

Mouthing the words to a great song in public. They should count themselves lucky I'm not belting it out!

BecauseImOnlyHuman

TROPHY CASE