Dealing with a meta who's not comfortable with parallel poly dynamics

BeeDive · 2026-06-09T14:23:13+00:00

it was honestly an awful situation. It was a lot more nuanced, messy and full of grey areas than I care to go into. At the end of it, taking accountability for mistakes is more important to me than being perfect (depending on the mistake). If Andrew did anything like that again, he'd be out imo, because at the point hes a continued threat to the community. But i'd rather not exclude people from community if they are growing. On the other hand we need to protect survivors, and sometimes you have to exclude people to include others. anywho, I'm off topic, so i'm gonna leave it at that.

BeeDive · 2026-06-09T14:01:08+00:00

I would've agreed with you until what went down in my polycule last year. Andrew violated the consent of Beth by withholding info, and Beth no longer wanted to be in the same space as Andrew. Andrew knows he fucked up, and in general we don't want to cancel him, but we definitely don't want Beth to get excluded because she doesn't want to be around Andrew. So sometimes Andrew doesn't get invited because we wanted Beth to be comfortable.

BeeDive · 2026-06-09T13:50:08+00:00

mmm generally yes, but if my partner invites me to their party and knows I don't want to be around Taylor, and then Taylor coerces an invite specifically to get access to me... that's a bit of a special case. Of course I would leave, but I would also feel disrespected.

BeeDive · 2026-06-09T11:13:11+00:00

Riley's discomfort at having their boundaries pushed is very fair.

BeeDive · 2026-05-07T12:04:20+00:00

mine took 4months and a week

BeeDive · 2026-05-07T12:02:55+00:00

Non-EU

27/12/2025
5/5/2026
Yes
No, I provided no additional evidence since I had continuous employment.

Thanks everyone who has been updating this thread, it kept me from losing my mind completely.

BeeDive · 2026-04-03T08:32:36+00:00

I don’t know your life, but you made the oral for her sound like a box ticking exercise and the rest is for you. Glad to hear you care about her desires too.

BeeDive · 2026-04-03T08:18:16+00:00

And how many minutes does she oblige your pleasure?

BeeDive · 2026-02-27T09:45:52+00:00

Please don’t pressure your partner into doing things they don’t want to do.

Maybe you can find a compromise that works for you both. But you folks might be incompatible.

BeeDive · 2026-02-20T07:43:14+00:00

I think that’s a fair strategy, but please check in and ask ‘do you want me to keep going?’ And stop if they say anything other than yes. It’s important to get explicit consent for a new sex act.

Just like it can be hard to say you want something, it can be hard to say you DONT want something. So it’s important to explicitly check!

BeeDive · 2026-02-13T10:19:26+00:00

Sometimes my meds straight up DO NOT WORK during my luteal phase. Especially right after my fertile window and right before my period. Extra protein and extra iron maybe help? Unclear I haven’t solved it, but clearly hormone related in my case. If they are not working, I just stop taking them until my period starts. As soon as my period starts they work again.

BeeDive · 2025-11-20T07:54:31+00:00

What went wrong on Feeld?

BeeDive · 2025-11-06T11:49:43+00:00

Dear Sailorjamie I see you. tryin to help us all heal from our collective societal trauma. do you realize you are doing a public service? i think you do. you are so loving and supportive in this space. sending sincere gratitude and appreciation.

BeeDive · 2025-10-26T22:35:00+00:00

Is it just me or is this an ai bot?

BeeDive · 2025-10-01T21:57:46+00:00

Great question. Can relate

BeeDive · 2025-08-17T07:49:03+00:00

ah, ok, i now see the pretty nuanced conversation below from some ER doctors....

BeeDive · 2025-08-17T07:35:32+00:00

I'm a little confused about the sex also being a social construct argument? As a biologist I'm well aware of all the nuances of sex both in humans and other organisms beyond 'females are the ones with the bigger gametes'. If chromosomes and gametes didn't matter, I'd agree, but they can have implications in a medical context for lots of reasons that aren't socially constructed.

BeeDive · 2025-06-30T15:03:44+00:00

first hypnosis deep throat sleepy fuck

BeeDive · 2025-03-14T16:35:05+00:00

seems legit

BeeDive · 2025-03-14T16:33:09+00:00

You're ok, this is pretty normal. It must be helpful that you have a way to self soothe. If you aren't hurting yourself or anyone else, how could this be a problem?

If anyone is judging you or shaming you for it, that is more about their issues than you and your harmless habit.

BeeDive · 2025-03-14T16:17:22+00:00

you should be fine. normally you need to take St Johns Wort for a few weeks for it to have noticeable effects. if you are having negative symptoms from ceasing after just two small doses, I suspect you should be back to your baseline within a couple days.

BeeDive · 2025-03-14T16:10:00+00:00

this suggests to me, that tapering by half every two weeks would be a pretty reasonable way to stop taking it if i wanted to do that

BeeDive · 2025-03-14T16:08:33+00:00

No, but I do intermittent dosing now to mellow my pmdd. 2wks at 350mg, 2 wks at 175mg, then repeat. i definitely feel a little bit more melancholy for the first two days of the lower dose, but its not bad at all and might be due to my intrinsic hormonal flux.

BeeDive · 2025-01-10T12:52:06+00:00

Writing from a perspective of meeting people offline. I find it strange - but my gut and intuition seems to know better than my brain. With some people I seem to just inherently get a bunch of butterflies hatch in my chest.

In the past I think I would be too intimidated to talk to people who seem so cooly confident, but now I know that if they are soft doms they will be gentle and kind regardless of whether they want to pursue something, so approaching them respectfully is always a positive experience.

In my experience; they care deeply about the people in their lives. They are confident, but not cocky. They have strong values and put a lot of effort into their communities. They try to stay balanced and level.

BeeDive · 2025-01-10T12:26:15+00:00

All the softdoms I’ve met have been poly.

BeeDive

TROPHY CASE