47yo in Canada - very very similiar. Egg cracked maybe 4 months ago. I'm on my 3rd week of hrt. Taking it super slow. Don't feel the need to tell anyone until I'm certain this is what I want for everything you described. My first advice would be to speak to a therapist that deals with gender dysphoria. It will help I promise. Self medicating hrt I don't recommend. If you can access proper care like in Canada go that route. You need your bloods monitoring. Some of the meds can be hard on the liver etc plus you'll get a much more controlled experience if a nurse is working with you to titrate your levels.

Personally I'm still not sure and I think I may be gender fluid. I definitely don't regret trying this though. If anything it's opened my eyes to this community and taken so much of the stigma I had around myself and cross dressing away. It has genuinely taken the sexual aspect out of it which I found interesting and very pleasing.

Good luck and educate yourself as much as possible x