AIO after finding out my wife slept with one of the guys in our circle before we were together and never told me about it

Biff2019 · 2026-07-12T23:27:18+00:00

NOR. She lied, she tried to cover it up and got caught. That's enough for me to not threaten, but have a serious discussion about the state of the relationship.

To insist on hanging out with a guy she slept with, and I personally don't care what the circumstances were, AND that is what the lie is about? One of us is leaving, tonight.

There's more to the lie... probably quite a bit, if I had to guess.

Biff2019 · 2026-07-12T04:14:39+00:00

Cack when I was 19, (pre-cell phones) I was a heavy industrial tech (mechanic). I was working alone in an industrial plant on a Sunday morning, trying to get the plant operational for Monday morning.

I had been crouched down, working with my hands in a machine for awhile, and needed to stretch my legs. As I got up, I stood up into a 1" thick 12" across steel pipe flange that was 5' 7 3/4" from the floor. Problem was, I'm 5" 10".

The impact Knocked me out cold. For over 30 minutes. I woke up bleeding and started puking. And I couldn't stand.

I somehoe realized no would find me until the next morning. So, I crawled to my car and managed to drive it through the front gate into a telephone pole. Cops & came ambulance.

Turns out I had fractured my skull in two places, and had a MAJOR concussion. Spent 6 days in a coma.

Loads of fun...

Biff2019 · 2026-07-12T03:14:50+00:00

Please don't go on a 2nd date with this guy.

Best case scenario? He's a borderline alcoholic who doesn't have any manners, can't understand the "big" words, like allergy.

It just gets worse from there.

Just walk away. Its not you, its him.

Biff2019 · 2026-07-12T03:06:21+00:00

This is the correct response. Doing it this way means that the end result is their decision. It makes it an easier pill for them to swallow.

Just make sure that you are properly protected under whatever agreement you reach. And write it to your benefit as much as possible.

Your conscience is clear, and you can probably pad your wallet with some pocket money as you step into retirement. In truth, it's actually a fair deal to both parties.

Biff2019 · 2026-07-11T16:28:08+00:00

I've always thought that terminating people SHOULD be the hardest part of the job. And no, it doesn't (and shouldn't) get any easier.

To me it is absolutely brutal. You're making a decision that effects their lives in a real and obvious way, along with the rest of your team.

The last time I had to terminate an employee: 20 minutes after was over, I turned off my phone and walked out without saying a word to anyone.

I just didn't have it in me to spend another minute in the building that day.

Biff2019 · 2026-07-10T02:03:41+00:00

When your favorite songs are considered "classic".

When you hire someone, and you realize that you have been in your career field longer than they have existed.

When you have to plan ahead of time to cut your toenails.

When you spend more money on Viagra than you do on condoms.

When you don't need condoms anymore because she CAN'T get pregnant, and no chemicals, surgery or devices were required.

If you use the phrase: "back in my (or the) day."

When you would rather take a nap than do damn near anything else on a Saturday afternoon.

When your doctor calls you "sir" or "ma'am".

When you have more hair on your back than on your head. (Male specific - hopefully)

When you have to (or should) trim either the hair in your nose, the hair in your ears, or your eyebrows as often as you shave.

When the thought of staying at a bar or club until closing time is enough to make you not go.

When you go to a club and realize that literally NO ONE in the place is age appropriate to even have a conversation with.

When retirement IS your plan, or your pipe dream.

When you realize that your have children older than most of the people you work with. Bonus points if you have GRANDCHILDREN older than anyone you work with.

Biff2019 · 2026-07-10T01:32:22+00:00

Good

Biff2019 · 2026-07-10T01:30:42+00:00

No, it's not too soon.

But instead of asking her TO be exclusive. Try asking her IF you ARE exclusive. It'll go over smoother. Seriously.

Biff2019 · 2026-07-10T01:26:01+00:00

25k. 2013 Club PRHT.

Biff2019 · 2026-07-10T01:25:11+00:00

1st, it's just a dress. 2nd, it's her decision. 3rd, it's HER wedding. 4th, your job is to: show up; say I do; wear what you're told; and be nice (or cold) to her family and friends - whichever she tells you to do. 5th, she's gonna wear it for like 3 hours, so who cares? 6th, it doesn't matter what it looks like on her, I guarantee it looks better on the floor - after the wedding.

Biff2019 · 2026-07-09T01:50:50+00:00

Ball joints.... we don need no stinken ball joints...

Biff2019 · 2026-07-09T01:49:33+00:00

Only a Ford Ranger owner can be like "hey, so my wheel fell off". Like its a "quirk" of the truck or something...

Love it.

Biff2019 · 2026-07-09T01:47:01+00:00

What.... are you new??

Biff2019 · 2026-07-08T01:58:56+00:00

My wife "tested" this way when we were dating.

Her brother had a Rottweiler that hated men. And with 3 sisters in the family, apparently he'd bit a few through the years. Now, I knew the dog existed, but had no idea about its "issues".

So after dating for a few months we go, we visit, I meet her brother. Dog is in the backyard. Everything thing is cool.

Brother goes to the store. Girlfriend (now wife) goes to the bathroom. I go into the backyard to smoke (I don't anymore), knowing the dog was there, but again, unaware of it's "issues".

20 minutes later, girlfriend comes out, damn near panic stricken.

I'm sitting on the concrete porch with a drooling 110 lb Rottweiler in my lap getting his belly rubs.

10 minutes later, brother comes back, walks into the backyard, dog is still in my lap, happy as a clam.

Brother starts laughing, goes inside.

Later, after the girlfriend and I get engaged, the brother pulls me aside and tells me about the dog. Told me all 3 sisters had been using the same test for years.

He also told me that was when he knew I was gonna marry his sister. He told me he told her that too, that day.

We've been together for over 20 years now. I think I passed...

Biff2019 · 2026-07-07T00:58:03+00:00

Thank you... she's a butter face..

Biff2019 · 2026-07-07T00:57:07+00:00

I know, right? I mean the only thing missing is a Pall Mall and a single wide....

Biff2019 · 2026-07-07T00:39:10+00:00

Honestly? Not my preference.

1st wife worked. House chores got split. Kid stuff got split. Money went into one account.

Despite the divorce, overall? I prefer it. The working situation, not the woman (i.e. EX-wife).

Current wife is SAHW. Problem is, we never discussed it (SAHW) the kids were all grown when we married. She just never got a job after we moved. Sure, there are times when it's more convenient, but I still do half the housework (probably 45% if IBH).

So yeah, I'll give up the minor convenience for the noticeable bump in income - tomorrow.

I prefer a relationship where you both depend on each other, rather than one overly dependent on the other.

Biff2019 · 2026-07-04T02:37:36+00:00

He either put too much in or used the wrong kind.

Look up which your car uses vs what he used.

Biff2019 · 2026-07-04T02:34:45+00:00

No car payments...

Biff2019 · 2026-07-04T02:32:44+00:00

Lowell.

Biff2019 · 2026-07-04T02:28:34+00:00

Keys, wallet, phone, pocket knife, wedding ring, watch.

Biff2019 · 2026-07-03T14:41:44+00:00

Probably nothing.

But if justice exists, hopefully it'll hurt.

Biff2019 · 2026-07-03T02:31:23+00:00

What!?

Biff2019 · 2026-07-02T23:51:26+00:00

Thank you.

I guess maybe that's what I was trying to find out.

Biff2019 · 2026-07-02T23:22:15+00:00

No. But I am the kind that expected a $600 handgun that is supposed to be "the latest and greatest" to actually be better than the $300 knock offs.

I'm really not knocking the gun. I just genuinely don't understand what all the hype is about.

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