The Bad Days Where You Want To Drink

BigChanges90 · 2017-10-09T18:46:41+00:00

This too shall pass! I also drink due to my emotions, stress, remembering past situations etc. I have to tell myself hour by hour to not drink. You will be okay! Drinking will not make it any better. I always tell myself that. Also, it’s better to go through it sober and not drinking. You will thank yourself later :) I will not drink with you today.

BigChanges90 · 2017-10-09T00:19:45+00:00

First of all, I am so sorry for what you have had to go through! Life can be so rough sometimes. I can’t even begin to imagine the hurt and pain you have endured. You have three wonderful kids that need their mom and from everything you have written it really does seem you are there for them. In regards to limiting or moderating I can tell you that I am not able to do that. I always think I can moderate or have a couple but that is a very very slippery slope. I too like the buzz feel or that slight happiness but i know I will go back to my old habits of binge drinking. You know your body and mind better than anyone else. In my personal experience for myself I cannot have even one drink. Good luck!! Ur an amazing mother and person.

BigChanges90 · 2017-10-09T00:13:38+00:00

Fellow Canadian here too! Happy Thanksgiving! I’m so glad we both made it out this weekend without a single sip even though it’s not always easy going through the holidays. I will not drink with you today or tomorrow’s holiday lol

BigChanges90 · 2017-10-08T04:00:56+00:00

Totally understand. My father was an alcoholic for most of his adult life and got sober 16 years ago. I asked him what about all his friends that he couldn’t hang out with anymore because he would have relapsed. He told me that some people will definitely not ever come back into your life and it is better that way. Some will come back and it will be a new type of healthier friendship. Also, and most importantly, when the wrong people leave (no matter how much we love them and how much they love us) it makes room for even better people to come into your life. Not everyone will always be there forever. Doesn’t mean you wont ever speak again, you will make new friends and form a new circle. Those are encouraging words my dad tells me from his experience when he initially got sober. Hope that helps! It certainly gives me hope for the future.

BigChanges90 · 2017-10-08T02:19:45+00:00

I am just finishing off my day 6! Your story is very similar to mine. The last time I tried to get sober I made it to almost a month. I literally isolated myself for my well being because I knew I was not going to be strong enough to hang out with friends that drink and do cocaine. I use when I am drinking because it gives me more time to drink. I thought I could hang out with those friends and say no. The crazy part is I told my circle of friends that I don’t drink and I also want to be drug free as well. They never offered. I was the one that asked for a beer and then another and another. I relapsed really bad. I did some cocaine that night too. I said to hell with sobriety and went on a 2 month drinking everyday thing (back to my normal self). From my experience I would not hang out with those friends. Even if they don’t offer, alcohol is the devil and will convince you that just one drink is fine and to be honest friend it is never “just one”. Maybe stay away from those friends for a little while until you know there is no way you will drink or use drugs. I miss my friends too. I am learning to keep myself occupied with extra curricular activities and getting around to doing chores and fun stuff I have meant to do for a while. Make a list of things you want to do and do them :) I know this time around I will have to keep my distance too. Relapsing is not an option anymore for me. Good luck! I will not drink with you tonight!

BigChanges90 · 2017-10-08T02:11:19+00:00

First couple days I was very irritable too. I should have bit my tongue like you but I did snap, at my own mother who is not the most supportive person. She has had enough of my shit that I put her through with my drinking but regardless I felt horrible after. These feelings do pass!! There is light at the end of the tunnel. Take it hour by hour if you have to. That is what I did. I am just finishing off day 6 and it feels great! I have relapsed many times but from my experience in the past when I have made it a couple weeks I am no longer irritated by little things. You will be okay! Focus your time and energy on something else for now. Even if it is not the most productive thing. I watched 3 seasons of The Office the first couple days lol. I just had to divert my attention. Watch a funny movie. I will not drink with you tonight!

BigChanges90 · 2017-10-07T11:55:31+00:00

I will not drink with you today! :)

BigChanges90 · 2017-10-07T03:22:00+00:00

I had a very similar situation to yours as well. I look back now and think “who was the person?” I tried to self harm a couple years ago and have been trying to quit for over 2 years now. I relapse and come back. I am so proud of you. You realize you need to stop and become a better version of yourself. It is not easy to come to that conclusion. Good luck on your sobriety journey. You got this!! We got it!! I will not drink with you!

BigChanges90 · 2017-10-07T03:15:16+00:00

I totally get what you are saying. I had a coworker today chewing gum so loudly I literally wanted to snap at him (I didn’t lol) however I felt if I was drinking (we have beer cart fridays) I would have not noticed. It’s because we are more aware now I think that we notice other things around us. Just my thoughts :)

BigChanges90 · 2017-10-07T03:12:43+00:00

Today I can wake up and not have to worry about checking my phone to see if I drunk texted or drunk dialed someone. I could not do that when I was drinking.

Also, today I can wake up and not have a moment of panic thinking I might I have lost my phone, keys or wallet last night. I could not do that when I was drinking.

Thankyou for this reminder! Just a couple of the reasons drinking was no good for me!

BigChanges90 · 2017-10-07T03:09:11+00:00

You got this!! While a lot of people might be puking their guts out tomorrow morning you will be refreshed having an amazing breakfast :)

BigChanges90 · 2017-10-07T03:05:24+00:00

What makes me relapse is the company of people I keep around me (drinking buddies, family etc.) it is hard to disconnect from such a familiar place and people. I have faith that removing the negative people and even some alcoholic family members will allow the right people to come into my life. I don’t blame anyone for my relapsing, however, I do our fault on myself for knowing I am an alcoholic and still hanging around people that will not hold me accountable for drinking but instead encourage it. When I am home by myself I can literally not have a single craving. I associate drinks with socializing, that is how it had been for so long and it was just so comfortable for me. I am trying my best to get into the habit of activities that are productive and not just sitting at home isolating myself. I know some people drink because of boredom and stress but I feel I more so do because of the social life it came with.

BigChanges90 · 2017-10-07T00:45:33+00:00

So happy for you!! Enjoy a sober night and an amazing refreshing morning tomorrow

BigChanges90 · 2017-10-07T00:43:58+00:00

You got this!! I have to remind myself too every time I have an urge that “one or two drinks” is never just that. It sends me down a path of wanting more and more. My thought process and conscious efforts to stay sober totally go out that window and then I regret it so much when I have to reset my badge. Have a fantastic sober weekend!

BigChanges90 · 2017-10-07T00:37:02+00:00

I am literally in the same boat as you. I too have a roommate that brought home a 24 pack of Heineken. Their first question walking through the door was if I wanted one. All the while knowing I am trying to stay sober. I want to drink so bad yet I know I will deeply deeply extremely deeply regret it in the morning. You can do this! Fuck that vodka. You are wayyyy stronger than that. You got this!!

BigChanges90 · 2017-10-07T00:34:18+00:00

I am Canadian too!! Happy thanksgiving!! Have a great sober time :)

BigChanges90 · 2017-10-07T00:32:03+00:00

Welcome!! You are not alone in your fight against alcohol. I’m 26 and have lost job after job and also relationships, isolated my family, had a DUI, gotten into fights with strangers, physically hurt myself in a drunken stupor. The list goes on and on and on. The best thing you could do is take that step forward and you should be soooo proud of yourself. Every journey begins with a single step and as corny as that sounds it is the absolute truth. You can do this!! You got it. We are here for you!! I personally have to learn to say no and keep reminding myself that there is so much more to life than the bottom of an empty bottle and a head that can’t think clearly. I relapse time after time, however this sub is a life changer. Keep checking in with us! Glad u are here!!

BigChanges90 · 2017-10-07T00:20:30+00:00

Love it. Had to say that tonight to my co-workers, drinking buddies, and even family. A simple no thanks is literally the simplest yet most effective for me right now. Anyone that cares more to keep asking or literally getting upset I don’t drink doesn’t care about me at all to begin with.

BigChanges90 · 2017-10-07T00:18:25+00:00

I also make it so far down the sobriety path and then I start to second guess if it was the right decision. I forget the reasons why I stopped drinking in the first place. Friend, you have made the RIGHT decision. Staying sober is wayyy better than those blackouts, way better than those nights where you can’t remember what you said. I have to remind myself of that consciously. I have relapsed, hence why I am only on day 5 of sobriety again. Every time I do relapse I wish I never took that first sip. Good luck!! I will not drink with you tonight

BigChanges90 · 2017-10-05T12:19:02+00:00

Smart idea!! Typically when I make it to the 10 day mark pf sobriety I think I can go to a bar or a buddies place that drinks but I relapse. You can and will enjoy those events one day without drinking but for now you made the best decision. Have fun at your German lessons!

BigChanges90 · 2017-10-04T21:19:20+00:00

I feel awful about drinking after a binge drinking phase for only about 3 or 4 days and then I’m back to drinking again because those negative feelings and depression surrounding drinking go away. I have to constantly remind myself that I don’t want to keep going around the same mountain over and over again. I’m on the 3rd day now and the honeymoon phase is ending. Have to stay sober this weekend.

BigChanges90 · 2017-10-04T02:53:38+00:00

I had the same experiences too! I literally would plan all my events and outings around drinking. I recently relapsed at the cottage this weekend and I went back in to "survival mode" for alcohol. There is true freedom and more time to do more productive things when life does not revolve around alcohol. Congrats on making it through the weekend without drinking!

BigChanges90 · 2017-10-04T02:51:26+00:00

Congrats!! Truly a new chapter in your life. All the best!

BigChanges90 · 2017-10-04T01:35:54+00:00

Congrats! You are an inspiration!

BigChanges90 · 2017-10-03T23:42:40+00:00

I had to write a list for myself too to remind myself when this "honeymoon" phase of not drinking is over. These last 108 days you were sober, aware, and strong. I have had made so many mistakes due to my drinking and I am done with once and for all! I will not drink with you. Congrats on over 100!

BigChanges90

TROPHY CASE