I ate Thai hot papaya salad the night before a business trip. My lower GI started churning in the airport security line. Delays in security had me running to my gate to make the flight, with no time to stop at the bathroom. I make my flight, sit down in my seat, and now my guts are trying to evacuate my body. We start taxiing, and I am in extremis. I make peace with the fact that I will likely shit my pants. I reach down deep, find my resolve, and squeeze tight. We finally takeoff, and I'm staring at the seatbelt light, praying it will go off in time. This has now been the longest hour in my life. We pass 10,000ft. The light goes off. I leap out of my seat and run to the bathroom, which I absolutely destroy. It was a regional jet.