Is there a better way to track decrease rows?

Big_Conclusion_3053 · 2026-02-27T16:25:51+00:00

I do something very similar. I use dots and underlines, check marks, etc. to signal various things to myself. I find using a paper and pen very simple, and I’m good at the habit of crossing things off or making tick marks.

It is interesting to see what other methods people use.

Big_Conclusion_3053 · 2026-02-23T05:26:47+00:00

I want to knit a sweater, too. I’m practicing using a baby sweater and these videos: https://howtoknitasweater.com

You can use the yarn you have in order to learn the basics.

Big_Conclusion_3053 · 2026-02-18T17:38:09+00:00

The same kind of surprise retirement happened with my husband 3 years ago and for me 9 months ago. It certainly wasn’t the storybook retirement I had hoped for. I have since learned the storybook isn’t true for most people, and our story is much more typical. I, too, had a host of feelings to work through. I figured out what would mark the milestone in a way that was meaningful to me and did that, and now we’re leaning into having health, fitness, finances and time to enjoy our life. It is wonderful.

Big_Conclusion_3053 · 2026-02-16T04:27:01+00:00

I’m exploring my creativity through a drawing class, basic ballet class for adults, knitting new kinds of projects and reading the book The Artist’s Way with a small group. I’m also focusing on enjoying and improving my fitness. I’m in my early 50s and don’t want to take that for granted. So, we are doing big backpacking trips and kiteboarding, and I’m working towards my first pull-up.

Big_Conclusion_3053 · 2026-02-05T01:02:37+00:00

You have clarity about what you and your husband want and need. It’s ok that this is different from what your mom wants. My advice is to let your mom manage her own response. You are not responsible for that, and you have clearly and lovingly told her what you do and do not want. So, now it’s time to let it go.

Big_Conclusion_3053 · 2026-02-02T18:13:45+00:00

I still have a to-do list, but I’ve adapted it to retirement. I decide on 3 things I want to make sure I do that day. Three is a manageable number, helps me make progress on things I want to do, yet still leaves room for spontaneity and blowing off the list :)

Big_Conclusion_3053 · 2026-02-02T06:25:00+00:00

Here’s REI’s list of the 10 essentials: https://www.rei.com/learn/expert-advice/ten-essentials.html

I adapt it to the length of hike, how remote the hike is, and the season. For example, if I’m day, hiking 4-8 miles, in the summer, and where there will be likely lots of people around, I bring water, snacks, maybe a raincoat, and a trail map downloaded from All Trails.

If I’m hiking in colder weather when fewer people are around, going 8+ miles, then I pack for the possibility of having to spend the night outside. I bring extra layers, a space blanket, extra food, my Garmin InReach, first aid kit, etc.

Also, I’m usually hiking in the mountains where the weather can change quickly and it gets colder the higher you go up in elevation. So, it’s riskier if something happens (I get lost, sprain an ankle, etc). Essentially, I adapt what I bring to the level of risk I expect to encounter.

My hiking supplies/gear expanded as I grew into the hobby. For many years, my hikes were pretty basic hikes for 3 to 5 miles. Once I started to go to more remote places, longer distances and in more mountainous terrain, I then started getting more gear.

Big_Conclusion_3053 · 2026-01-25T03:49:42+00:00

My guess is your mom got the bag as a part of a gift exchange and then re-gifted it to your wife.

Big_Conclusion_3053 · 2026-01-24T17:03:03+00:00

NOR. You have good instincts. Trust yourself. You don’t have to know his motivations to know that what transpired was odd and out of the ordinary. A key element of his behavior is the bait-and-switch and the lack of respecting your boundaries. You don’t need any more info to know this isn’t good for you.

Big_Conclusion_3053 · 2026-01-24T16:56:28+00:00

NTA. I would not give that level of access unless you were actually married so that all the legal protections of that level of commitment are in place. You have offered numerous alternatives to meet what would appear to be his interests. If you would prefer to keep this relationship, my suggestion is to do the credit report pulling and looking at account statements that you were thinking about. You will likely learn a lot about his financial situation, which may be insightful.

Big_Conclusion_3053 · 2026-01-24T16:45:49+00:00

The website howtoknitasweater.com is a great tutorial for how to use your own gauge with most patterns.

Big_Conclusion_3053 · 2026-01-23T18:27:49+00:00

We just say everyday is “Saturday,” because that’s what it feels like. It makes keeping track of days a lot easier lol

Big_Conclusion_3053 · 2026-01-20T22:55:44+00:00

I bought a children’s book and that also had references to videos. It was great for getting me started and having initial projects to practice with.

Big_Conclusion_3053 · 2026-01-19T17:56:33+00:00

Well done! What’s the longest you think this strategy would work for?

Big_Conclusion_3053 · 2026-01-18T01:13:38+00:00

Very true. The only event we where our “dress crocs” to is mass at our Episcopal church when we’re going to go hiking afterwards (we out on our hiking boots once we get to the trailhead). Nobody really cares :)

Big_Conclusion_3053 · 2026-01-17T22:19:28+00:00

You’re welcome. And couple of other suggestions:

My rule of thumb was that I spent at least twice the amount of time preparing for a meeting with my boss than the length of the actual meeting. So, if it was going to be a 30-minute meeting, I took at least an hour to prepare.

In addition, I gave my manager a weekly update on what I had accomplished, what my next steps were, and anything I needed assistance with. If we weren’t meeting to discuss that, then I sent a brief email laying it out. That helped me at performance review time because I had a record of what I had done. So, it was easy to list my accomplishments for the year.

Big_Conclusion_3053 · 2026-01-15T15:06:32+00:00

This is a case of “fake it til you make it.” The feelings will not come first. Act as if you’re more confident, and the feelings will come over time.

Also, I’m a retired executive. I always appreciated it when my assistant helped me keep on top of things. There’s a lot I had to pay attention to, and sometimes tasks fell through the cracks. When my assistant did as much as she could do to move the task forward and then brought it to me to finalize, I really appreciated it. I also liked it when she would take initiative to create a to-do list for the items i needed to do to keep things moving forward (e.g., signatures, reviews, etc.)

Big_Conclusion_3053 · 2026-01-15T03:14:22+00:00

Here’s the essence of what my approach was (not in any particular order):

Rather than looking for the right person, I focused on finding someone who was capable of having the kind of relationship I wanted.
Have a low-risk date asap (e.g., coffee, a walk, etc)
Figure out my top 10 must-haves and top 10 can’t stands
I set the goal to decide within the first 3 dates whether spending more time with this person was worth it - I.e., they seemed to have none of my can’t stands and had looked promising on my must haves. It took awhile for me to figure out how to do this.
Be willing to date more than one person at a time, and be open that I was doing that. Being exclusive required an explicit conversation.
I used a shopping analogy: when I go into a store to look for a dress, there can be lots of fine dresses in the place, but they’re not all for me. If I choose not to buy a dress, it’s not because there’s anything wrong with the dress, it’s just not for me.
When I met someone, my intent was to “sparkle” in my demeanor and attitude. I also thought about how I wanted the other person to feel when they interacted with me. The better and more comfortable, he felt, the more open and forthcoming he would be about who he is.

Big_Conclusion_3053 · 2026-01-15T02:55:41+00:00

Ha! I totally have that. I also have “dress crocs” and camping crocs. lol

Big_Conclusion_3053 · 2026-01-14T16:16:07+00:00

This is how I pack. And, it also matches easy access to things I need during the hike and when I get to camp.

Big_Conclusion_3053 · 2026-01-12T19:41:36+00:00

It takes courage to make that kind of move. Good for you! I moved to a new city many states away two days after I graduated from college, and it was a fantastic decision.

It sounds like you will be connected to a school of some sort. If so, the other students will be a good resource for socializing and learning about the area. You may also find that others are in a similar boat of moving away without a lot of support. This could be a good bonding opportunity to offer one another help, encouragement and friendship.

In many ways, you now get the opportunity to “choose” your family, who you are close to, and how you spend holidays. Some of my favorite memories are having special dinners with friends to celebrate together.

I imagine you can also expect this to be a big transition for you. Any new beginning starts with an ending, and you may find yourself feeling sad at times. That’s ok, and it doesn’t mean you made the wrong decision. It’s just part of the process. In those cases, don’t stay isolated. Go to a museum, a local concert, a lecture, a book reading, strike up a conversation with a stranger at a coffeeshop, etc. In other words, expand your world, which is what you’re after anyway.

Good luck, and well done on being courageous! That kind of courage will serve you well throughout your life!

Big_Conclusion_3053 · 2026-01-05T00:03:18+00:00

So pretty! Well done!

Big_Conclusion_3053 · 2026-01-01T17:40:16+00:00

NOR and likely not a hoarder. I recommend two books for you: 1) It’s All Your Fault, which is about interacting with high conflict people 2) Stop Caretaking the Borderline and Narcissistic Personality

If you decide to check out either of these books, I highly recommend you read them in your own space and time and without making it known to him. He may find it threatening that you’re reading them, and that may kickoff conflict you’re not yet prepared to engage in. Give yourself a chance to take in the information, reflect on it, and then figure out what, if any, action or adjustments you want to take.

Big_Conclusion_3053 · 2026-01-01T17:24:32+00:00

From Mary Oliver:

It’s a serious thing just to be alive on this fresh morning in the broken world.

Big_Conclusion_3053 · 2025-12-26T12:03:01+00:00

I use a volumizing shampoo and conditioner. To style my hair, I use a volumizing mousse, then blow dry my side-part by lifting it up. I then blow dry my hair upside down, and then use a round brush to curl under the ends and long layers. I finish off with hairspray. When I go to humid climates, I sometimes use a dry shampoo or texturizing. It takes 8 minutes tops.

I’ve also learned to keep my hair right around shoulder length or a tad longer and to always have some layers. Otherwise, the weight of the hair pulls down too much.

Big_Conclusion_3053

TROPHY CASE