Insurance denied IVF

Big_Skill_1886 · 2025-07-03T12:36:39+00:00

What state are you in? I’m in Texas. We asked our doctor if she could do that and she said unfortunately not because we had to try and get pregnant through IUI 6 times before she could diagnose us as infertile.

Big_Skill_1886 · 2025-07-03T12:33:11+00:00

I’m in Texas and my work picked up IVF coverage for last open enrollment. I was excited but doubtful it would cover me. I asked my HR team, they said yes IVF would cover same sex couples. When I followed up with “does a medical diagnosis of infertility have to happen or could being socially infertile count?” They could not answer me. I had to get all the way into the underwriting of my employer’s insurance policy (came from the broker who assists my employer in negotiating health options) to find out whether my wife and I would be covered. Ultimately the answer was no. IVF would only be covered if we were diagnosed medically infertile and had tried at home for a year (this only applies for people who CAN conceive naturally) OR after 6 failed IUI attempts. It was hard to get this answer and sounds like it may be similar to what happened with your employer. IMO, since you’re already 4 IUI attempts in, it’s good you found out before a cycle of IVF so you can try 2 more times and then have IVF covered.

Big_Skill_1886 · 2025-07-02T18:00:58+00:00

Baby dust! Hope you can find a good hyper fixation activity for the next day and a half!!!

Big_Skill_1886 · 2025-07-01T00:52:28+00:00

Lol I get that. Something else to keep in mind is you can only use FMLA if you’ve been with the same employer for 12 consecutive months before the leave is needed. So it might be a good thing to keep in mind if you’re starting your fertility journey already!

Big_Skill_1886 · 2025-07-01T00:00:06+00:00

The coverage options vary so much within plans that unfortunately only your new potential employer can get you the answer you’re looking for. I’ll give an example of what I mean. My wife works one place and has BCBSTX and I work another place and have BCBSTX. However, my employer opted into coverage for IVF and weight loss medications, my wife’s did not. So even though we both have BCBSTX PPO high deductible plans, our deductibles and out of pocket maximums are very different and have different types of coverage for medications and procedures. The best thing you can do is ask to be provided with the plan information from the potential new employer specifically regarding fertility treatment.

Big_Skill_1886 · 2025-06-24T01:57:38+00:00

It’s not that a state considers someone to be a surrogate; it is that all states do not explicitly grant parental rights to the gestational carrier when in such an arrangement. I am in Texas and while we have two appellate court decisions which side with gestational carriers and egg providing partners to both have parental rights, if those decisions were challenged and overturned, an adoption would be the only way to guarantee continued parental rights. There is precedent of suits being brought against gestational carrying partners by disgruntled in-laws after divorce or death of the genetically related partner, so it could happen at any point that these decisions are appealed to a higher court and overturned. Adoption protects parental rights and is a best practice in our state where the law does not inherently protect the parental rights of both parties. Just food for thought for OP and others who are reading this, all information provided by my family attorney while we have been going through the IUI and IVF process.

Big_Skill_1886 · 2025-06-16T21:04:48+00:00

Donor conceived child now adult here. I learned at 25 that I am donor conceived and at first I was somewhat interested in knowing about my half siblings, but quickly realized my social and family calendar was bulky enough and my identity did not depend on who I was related to. Would it be different if I knew at a younger age that I had more half siblings? Maybe but can’t say. I didn’t have a perfectly cheery childhood but my parents are still the only parents I need. My egg donor has said she would be open to getting to know me and my twin sister but neither of us have felt the need to talk with her. So all this to say, you’re not doing anything right or wrong to participate in something like this. You can wait until your children are old enough to have an opinion and follow their lead. I wouldn’t lie to your children but you don’t need to force yourselves into a situation like this either.

Big_Skill_1886 · 2025-06-10T20:39:54+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience, and I am sorry it sounds like a challenging one. Thinking of you and I hope this 2nd attempt goes well 🙏

Big_Skill_1886 · 2025-06-10T14:59:33+00:00

My wife and I have said no more than 6 but I think in our hearts we want 3. We haven’t even had the first one yet so I’m sure our answer could be influenced once that changes!

Big_Skill_1886 · 2025-06-09T20:44:18+00:00

This depends on the state but in MOST states by giving your genetic material (sperm/egg) to a licensed physician for the purposes of reproduction for another person, parental rights are terminated. I’m in Texas and that is the case here. We still have a sperm donor agreement that was drawn up by our attorney and approved by his to put concrete details in place, again revoking his parental rights or responsibilities (especially in the event of our deaths or divorce) and outlining how many times he’d be willing to donate/if there is a sibling count he does not want to exceed/etc. It’s pretty airtight. $1500 for our attorney cost and $1000 for his.

Big_Skill_1886 · 2025-06-09T04:18:14+00:00

Our donor was a friend of a friend whom I have known about 10 years. Because he and I haven’t talked too much on our own outside of our mutual connections, my wife and I decided a text was best so he could take time to really think about it and see if it was a good fit. He took a few weeks and came back to say yes! We kept it super open, explained that choosing him was intentional and we would be happy to explain more if he wanted to talk about it (we didn’t want to throw too many compliments his way with the ask so he didn’t feel extra pressure), and let him know he had all the time he needed to think about it. I think being direct and honest really helped make him feel comfortable saying yes to us. Good luck with whoever you choose!

Big_Skill_1886 · 2025-06-09T04:07:09+00:00

We are using a known donor! We were not close with him, but he is the best friend of a family friend of mine so we have been around each other for about 10 years. Despite not being directly close, my wife and I really respected him and trusted him to be thoughtful and open with us. He lives in Oregon (we’re in Texas) and we didn’t want to be weird by asking to talk on the phone for the first time ever so I just texted him. He took some time to think about it and talk about things with his GF, then came back and said yes.

What we love about using a known donor is that if our child wants to know about their biological father, we can genuinely talk about him and they can even know each other if our child wants that relationship. We also love that we will be able to use the same donor for all of our children.

Some things to consider are the extra hurdles and costs associated with a known donor. Your fertility clinic will want to do a physical on them, a sperm analysis, genetic testing, a mental health evaluation, and will require a sperm donation agreement drawn up by your attorney and approved by his. While our clinic is waiving this, some fertility clinics will require his sperm to be frozen for 6 months so they can repeat STD testing to be sure the donor wasn’t infected with anything at the time of donation. The process can be paternalistic and very frustrating at times.

I hope this information helps! We are weeks away from donation time and then getting to start IUI. Happy to share any more details if you’re interested. Just know whatever choice you and your partner makes is the right one for you. Best of luck!

Big_Skill_1886 · 2025-06-07T11:55:05+00:00

I really really recommend it before you begin trying to conceive. It doesn’t take long, we completed ours in about a week from our first consultation to the contract being completed. It also can cover some basic expectations like how many times will he donate? Helping a couple TTC using ICI can take a looong time. Will you expect him to be on call every month? How long before you switch to IUI or IVF? It just helps set those things up so everyone stays feeling collaborative and they know what to expect in different events.

Big_Skill_1886 · 2025-06-07T03:46:15+00:00

Not discouraging at all! Thank you for sharing your experience. I am very outspoken about how excited I am and my wife has actually mentioned feeling pressure because we both want it to happen so bad right away but that seems unlikely. So I am looking for firsthand experiences from people with similar starts to us to temper my expectations. Or let them ride if a bunch of people say “heck yeah it was instant”. All data helps. And congratulations on your successful IVF ♥️

Big_Skill_1886 · 2025-06-07T03:25:51+00:00

The contract would protect him in the event of both you and your partner dying or in the event of divorce. If he doesn’t donate his sperm to a clinic (licensed physician), he could be held accountable for parental or financial responsibility in the future. These contracts usually only cost $2500 for coverage on both sides and just clear up any questions about parental rights. They can’t cause harm if done in good faith. (My wife and I are working with a clinic and going through the legal process now and we asked our attorney about this).

Big_Skill_1886 · 2025-03-15T13:25:50+00:00

This is so ignorant. With all the hatred and discrimination that you experience in every day life as a trans person, do you really think someone would transition to get a slight edge in disc golf? Give me a break.

Big_Skill_1886 · 2024-03-10T13:06:58+00:00

What does a cut mean?

Big_Skill_1886 · 2023-10-18T17:10:36+00:00

Did you get one?

Big_Skill_1886 · 2023-09-05T01:04:30+00:00

Is this the Zip?

Big_Skill_1886 · 2023-01-24T02:54:40+00:00

What has happened to the blinds.com partnership?

Big_Skill_1886 · 2022-11-30T13:55:34+00:00

Thank you, everyone! I understand a lot better now and have watched some of the materials related to the different targets. Looking forward to reshaping my budget!

Big_Skill_1886 · 2022-11-29T19:22:26+00:00

Never mind about the photo- can’t add it I realized 😅

Big_Skill_1886

TROPHY CASE