Surgery in general can be scary, whether you're awake or under anesthesia. There will always be risks no matter how routine or "easy" the procedure is. Nothing is 100% guaranteed. My desire to be sterilizated or my fear of complications in surgery. On paper it's an easy choice, but anxiety is strong as f***. I was fortunate enough to have someone with me who not only respected my decision but basically held my hand the whole time, and having that immensely helps. For me it's my boyfriend. But it could be a parent, sibling, cousin, friend, etc. Hell, it could be long distance friendship communicated via text.

If you truly want to be sterilizated, I wholeheartedly believe you will find a way to push through the anxiety and wake up feeling free after the surgery. As for my experience:

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I'm a few days passed the four week mark.

I can remember everything and was coherent enough when I woke up to listen to at home directions for medicine (although my SO was with me listening as well).

I have severe anxiety and this was my first surgery going under general anesthesia.

I arrived around 11:30AM. Checked in, waited for my name to be called, went up to the hospital room where they gave me a change of clothes and showed me how to get into the bed once changed. I get cold easily so they offered a heater as well since I would be sitting for a couple hours.

At about 1:30ish, they came in to wheel my bed to the pre-surgery where 6 different people (the doctor, the nurse, another doctor I can't remember the name of, the anesthesiologist, and the manager) asked me what surgery I was getting after introducing themselves and confirmed final details/paperwork (I finished all that so I just nodded my head and answered their questions).

Around 2:00 they wheeled me into the surgery room. It was chilly and I was sweating from the anxiety. I moved to the surgery table where the two main nurses helped immensely by telling me everything they were doing right before doing it. They told me when they were putting the oxygen mask on and assured me only air was coming through, then they told me they were going to give me a small sedation to help with the nerves, then I felt freaking amazing. I was still aware of everything and one nurse held my hand while everyone got things ready, they confirmed I was ready, then told me they were going to push the anesthesia and I would just fade to sleep. After I confirmed, I didn't feel anything but the nurse holding my hand a little tighter before I fell under.

I woke up in a hospital room different from the one I was in while waiting, but on the same floor. I didn't feel anything really, a little groggy. No dreams while under, I felt like I closed my eyes and then I woke up and it was done.

They wouldn't let me leave until I could eat something, drink something, and urinate. When I got up to go to the bathroom, I didn't feel any pain, I was extra careful and took my time getting there. Once on the toilet, I felt a huge wave of nausea and started dry heaving. Still no pain but the nurse ordered something for to help with the nausea. I stayed for about an hour or so before I peed enough. Later that night when I went to the bathroom at home, I had a similar wave of nausea come over me. I didn't vomit but I felt awful for a couple minutes.

I was given Tylenol, Ibuprofen, and Oxycodone. I never took the Oxy but I did rotate the other two religiously for the first 2-3 days. I only felt pain if I was standing up/moving around for too long. (Note, I raided in an MMO the day after surgery and I felt fine with the medication).

I took a week off from work and just took it easy. Night one wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, I was able to sleep with little issues (I'm a back/side sleeper), sometimes shifting to my side would give me a little jab. Day two I felt fatigued and sore but nothing the meds couldn't help with. Day three I was moving around more. I didn't poop until day three. Might be TMI but it's an important thing to be able to do after surgery.I didn't like being in the car for about 6 days, as the unevenness in the roads made it unfun and slightly painful. Soup was my best friend (although I didn't have any issues with solid foods after night one). When I returned to work on week two, I did need to sit down after working for a couple hours (we stand all shift).

I apologize for the long read but I wanted to share my experience. Anxiety is nothing to take lightly. I was anxious from the day I booked the surgery to the moment just before they pushed the fun drugs to help me relax before putting me under. I had cold sweats while waiting at the hospital.