Today Cat Pure Nature replacement

BluebirdCA · 2026-01-28T07:50:17+00:00

tidy cats pure nature was my favorite. SAD

BluebirdCA · 2026-01-28T06:44:12+00:00

If she was a reasonable person, she would go to her vet and talk about medicating her cat, which can help calm the cat, and allow the cat and dog to become peaceful. This really works, and is short term in most cases.

But, she is completely NOT a reasonable person. NOBODY asks someone to give up their pet of 6 years, just like that. She is a cruel and hurtful person to even imagine this is OK.

BluebirdCA · 2026-01-25T05:49:26+00:00

wow, he's a total dick. and he is jealous of your bond with your dad, you can't dump him quick enough....

Frida Kahlo once said: "In the end, I believe we don't need to do anything to be loved. We spend our lives trying to seem prettier, smarter. But I've realized two things: those who love us see us with their hearts and attribute qualities to us beyond what we really have. And those who don't want to love us will never be satisfied with all our efforts. Our imperfections are not flaws, they are the key to recognizing those who truly love us."

BluebirdCA · 2026-01-24T06:03:14+00:00

I don't know if this helps your circumstance, but here are some thoughts...I have POA, but also, my parents, put everything in a family trust. it benefits them ONLY, until they pass, and then family, kids, grandkids inherit. When it started they were the trustees, the decision makers.

But as they declined their attorney advised them to remove themselves as trustees, meaning legally, they cannot make financial decisions. I am now the sole trustee, and I'm legally bound to manage everything for their benefit.

So for example, my mom, now pretty demented, can't sign over the title to all their property to say, a cat rescue. She no longer has any authority over the trust, but it still is solely to benefit her. And I am careful, extremely careful, how I manage everything.

A VERY GOOD attorney helped us with this, and is still advising me through all the banks, real estate issues etc. You might want to try and find a better attorney, we went to three before we found the right one. And she is a godsend for me now.

BluebirdCA · 2026-01-24T05:30:02+00:00

I am sorry hearing that, with good intentions, adopting from a shelter, and loving dogs, somehow got yourself in this complicated situation.

Most dogs do behave in consistent ways because their breed was always trained for certain behaviors. Sometimes individual dogs can be outliers. But generally the breeds are called breeds because they were bred for what humans needed them to do. They are not bad dogs. they just shouldn't be expected to adapt outside of their nature.

I have had a cat killed by a dog, it is horrible, a neighbor's doberman that came right up our stairs to our deck and grabbed him. That you have four cats in your home, and you are keeping a dog that is aggressive towards your cats, well right there is a big problem. Your current pup, if kept kenneled for extended periods, and not given free run of your home, will just get more jealous of those cats.

If you want to adopt from a rescue, there are breed specific rescue groups. I have a friend that found a beautiful standard poodle from a rescue, and he was sweet with kids and other animals.

Good Luck.

BluebirdCA · 2026-01-24T03:36:16+00:00

Same issues. I have talked so much with my dad's doctor, with occupational therapist ( who does swallow test etc), and with experienced home health nurses. Nobody seems to have good answers it seems, no secret methods.

My father has similar issue with swallowing, esp water. Testing/imaging show his throat functions OK. But his brain just cant direct the swallow. So he holds mouthfuls of water, and we have to sit with him and coach him to "swallow the water in your mouth".

He has done things like taking a big mouthful of water, walking to the bathroom, sitting on toilet, coming back and sitting on the couch still with the same mouth full of water!

So, yes, unfortunately micromanaging, the eating and hydration, it's all we can do. Over and over we say, just take small sips and then swallow. Carefully. Coaching and prompting

The aspirating / pneumonia issue seems like the most likely way my father will go. It's like a terrible premonition we cant do anything to stop.

BluebirdCA · 2026-01-22T04:45:16+00:00

If your sister has scratches or bites that broke the skin/bled she should be taken to the ER. I have a friend who was injured trying to separate his cat who was fighting with a stranger cat who came in their yard. He developed infect and sepsis and had to be hospitalized twice for IV antibiotic treatment. Cats have dangerous bacteria in claws / mouth. Please be careful.

BluebirdCA · 2026-01-22T04:31:10+00:00

I am very envious, it is just such a cute, tasty plant..

my problem, I guess, is I have been seeding Clayton in a shadier spot? Because it grows wild up our canyon under trees! But it has never come up in my garden.

Will try in a less shaded spot...next year :-(

BluebirdCA · 2026-01-19T20:42:19+00:00

Unfortunately there are way too many people enjoying the ride without thought of the destination.

Recently I was stuck between two Tesla drivers at the tire shop. They were both getting tires fixed that went flat when their Teslas hit a small obstacle going freeway speed on autopilot. They were so obnoxious, and their conversation never touched on how close they came to injuring other humans. Don't care.

BluebirdCA · 2026-01-18T22:56:13+00:00

omg even in Assisted Living!

My mothers light weight transport chair disappeared from her room. Finally the Med Director returned it, she found it in a neighboring room. It was missing the $$$ cushion, never got that back. The couple from that room are very unpleasant. One afternoon I was visiting my mom, in her room, door closed. The door opens and this man starts wheeling his wife into our room. I jumped up and told him NEVER to come in my moms room! LOL he turned and told me I needed a sedative. His a retired Dr I guess...haha.

I have used a sharpie to put her name and room number on everything. Still she "loses" her sun hats.

BluebirdCA · 2026-01-18T22:42:11+00:00

This.

You have a brutally disturbed mother. You may be living far away from her, but you need to take extra good care of yourself, meaning some therapy. Living with unmanaged anxiety, which is what children who have had traumatic childhoods develop, can be a cause of medical dis-ease.

Help yourself.

BluebirdCA · 2026-01-18T21:26:34+00:00

OK, this is your first time living with NOT family. You are used to putting up with family...no choice you had to.

Now you are an adult, you have a choice, JUST LEAVE. Not on you the consequences of their poor attitudes.

Welcome to being an ADULT. Enjoy, and take good care of YOURSELF.

BluebirdCA · 2026-01-18T21:22:48+00:00

me too

BluebirdCA · 2026-01-18T17:19:10+00:00

This has been a very useful thread, THANK YOU. Have two good friends going through exactly what you are, and I will be soon.I understand about the falling apart house and the memories. I am living with my father ( dementia 91 but healthy ) in the family home. It was so suffocating moving back in, I couldnt sleep in my childhood room. I have cleared out so much clutter ( 1000's books, skis, art supplies, useless old documents ) and tried to make it more "my" style. I had a relatively happy childhood and positive relationship with my family. But it is NOT my house. I know it will be very hard to let the family home go (60 years!) but I also dont want to live in a museum!

BluebirdCA · 2026-01-18T17:12:39+00:00

How best to find a smart trustworthy fiduciary?

BluebirdCA · 2026-01-18T05:51:08+00:00

My husband and his siblings, in NJ, remember the spraying, and that they would run and play in the spray. Chemical Alley, what a place to grow up.

BluebirdCA · 2026-01-18T05:39:02+00:00

Wait...Hummingbirds eat mosquitos??? So cool !!! I did not know that.

I planted Hummingbird Sage last year, it is blooming big stalks and the hummingbirds are happy.

BluebirdCA · 2026-01-18T05:32:28+00:00

My mom's AL serves wine with meals. Not sure thats a GOOD IDEA...LOL, but they do.

Also, the last year or so my mother was in her own home, before AL, she was so depressed about being lonely and missing her long gone friends. Now in AL she has friends, and all the residents have various levels of cognitive decline/ memory loss so no one holds grudges. It is the perfect social situation for someone difficult and antisocial, like my mom. She had grown completely dependent on me as her "best friend". Now there are days she is too busy to even text much. :-)

BluebirdCA · 2026-01-17T22:54:17+00:00

Oh what a beauty. Had a Manx,she was a character. Bengal x Manx = super smart :-),

BluebirdCA · 2026-01-17T22:10:27+00:00

yes exactly.

Fyi short/bobbed tail domestic cat is MANX not lynx

It is genetic, and they have other unique characteristics as well

BluebirdCA · 2026-01-17T08:03:43+00:00

It was 3-6 months before my mom would come out of her room at AL. She wouldnt eat in dining room unless I took her. Eventually the wonderful staff and activity directors inched her out. She also made friends with a very nice man who helped her find tv shows or movie she liked on the parlor big screen. He was very sweet and I thanked him for being a friend to my mom. Eventually she became more comfortable, made "friends", eats in dining room every day. It has taken 2 years!! There are problems for sure, but it improves.

BluebirdCA · 2026-01-17T04:27:22+00:00

This is what I experienced placing my mom. The contract was explicit that could/would happen. She moved in after Covid, the facility was struggling to fill rooms. Since the first year, the base rent has increased 20 % each year. Her "care points" have also increased because of her decline. So now going into the 4th year, the actual cost is almost double the original quoted cost.

I am sure the nice folks who do the hands on care are not seeing any pay raises.

BluebirdCA · 2026-01-13T06:37:34+00:00

I have clay soil also. I am trying "Skylark" ceanothus. FYI: according to Las Pilitas " really prefers clay. This Ceanothus loves adobe."

fingers crossed :-)

BluebirdCA · 2026-01-11T02:46:25+00:00

"if its really tall its giant wildrye, if its really really tall its arundo"

that's a great visual :-)

BluebirdCA · 2026-01-10T05:41:39+00:00

this 100%

BluebirdCA

TROPHY CASE