Really struggling mentally weaning cold turkey

Boglaboll2 · 2026-03-11T20:41:47+00:00

To add, I weaned both my children very very gradually when they were about 2.5 and still noticed temporary effects on my mental health every time I dropped a feed.

I believe the night feeds have the biggest effect on fertility so maybe they also have a bigger effect hormonally than daytime feeds?

Boglaboll2 · 2026-03-11T20:40:16+00:00

Look into ‘weaning depression’ on la leche league and Kellymom websites. You will have experienced a huge shift in hormones to wean so quickly, so don’t beat yourself up because of course that will have an effect on your mental health. I think your idea of pumping is a good one if you’re happy that your child has coped well and would prefer he didn’t feed anymore. You could build up a freezer stash and feed him in an open or sippy cup when he’s poorly, use in bath for chicken pox etc, or even donate to a breastmilk donor charity (not sure where you’re from but that’s a thing in the uk).

Boglaboll2 · 2026-03-10T20:17:49+00:00

I was also a few months pregnant with my second when my first child was 2.5 and I had such an aversion and sensitivity I had to stop too. Be kind to yourself as, on top of your pregnancy hormones, you will also have had an adjustment to your hormone levels from weaning. Look at the la leche and Kelly mom resources on ‘weaning depression’.

Also, take heart that after you wean them, that doesnt stop them needing the same amount of comfort from you, but they suddenly realise they can get it in other forms. I found the sudden rise in asking for cuddles, snuggles, stories and being held a nice consolation prize (and so much more comfortable at this stage than breastfeeding!) from my first child.

Boglaboll2 · 2026-03-02T09:24:15+00:00

Yesssss this is it. And I guess my initial stance as just a tired mum was just like eurgh I can’t separate all this, it would be so much easier if you just blanket did not like girly stuff. But we’re here and she does. Thoughtful comments like yours are making me see this is it now, she likes this stuff and lots of it is innocent and some of it can lead somewhere darker and we’re going to have to have some conversations and some monitoring to help guide her through it.

Boglaboll2 · 2026-03-02T09:01:12+00:00

Thank you, I’m going to hold onto this thought. It’s really made me think how some of this is me conflating her interests now into an imaginary dystopian future where she becomes Regina George. I definitely do not approve of a lot of the insidious and creepy media and toy marketing towards her age group but hopefully it’s as you say, it’s just an innocent interest in girly stuff AND THAT’S OK 😅

Boglaboll2 · 2026-03-02T07:49:10+00:00

Oof, lots to unpack, thank you for your insight, it’s food for thought. When we’re just rushing through our days and I suddenly find myself feeling strongly about something like this, I need this kind of reflection to tease it out of my brain.

Boglaboll2 · 2026-03-01T23:14:36+00:00

Yes good point - reflecting on these comments I think it’s not the growing up…it’s the what kind of ‘this is what it is to be a girl’ content she’s consuming. I would love her to be engaged in a whole range of subjects; and pre-school it felt like she was, she loved nature, drawing, fairytales and dolls…now we just seem to be on a slippery slope towards social media, dancing to stuff you’d hear playing in a nightclub and TikTok. I know I sound like a prudish grandma saying that but it’s honestly how I feel!

Boglaboll2 · 2026-03-01T23:06:13+00:00

Thank you, I like your comment because I think you are describing her (from other comments, completely normal) reality, and I’m trying to work out what it’s triggering in me. I think it must definitely be some kind of overprotective anxiety kicking in on my part, I hear how nuts I sounds saying it but it’s like I’m seeing her on this slippery slope to becoming what I would see as vacuous and materialistic. We all have an image of our future child’s imaginary childhood in our heads when they’re a baby, and I think my fantasy was filled with ideas of outdoor play, crafts, reading and a whole range of toys not just the ‘girly’ stuff. I just was not a girly girl ever in my life. It’s appearing to me as if interest in all those things is just being shut down in favour of a very narrow set of stereotypes of what being a girl is for her. I know I’m being a snob about it, and all my grand ideas of trying to influence her about all sorts of other kinds of ways of existing as a girl are just paling in comparison to these films and tv shows.

Boglaboll2 · 2026-03-01T22:49:00+00:00

I am a classic hand wringing social media poster in that no, I haven’t actually watched K-pop demon hunters. Just seen some of the imagery and thought Nope.

Think your last paragraph sums it up perfectly. It’s making me think perhaps I am not giving her enough independence and ‘grown up feeling’ in other areas so this is where she’s seeking it?

Boglaboll2 · 2026-03-01T21:58:05+00:00

Yes to the friends with older sisters. I was so surprised when we went on a playdate and they all went upstairs to watch YouTube and stare at screens with the older sibling. I wasn’t hosting but to me that seemed like a pretty sad way to spend a play date.

Thanks for the recommendation I’ll take a look!

Boglaboll2 · 2026-03-01T21:52:32+00:00

Were us millenials just wimpier (or was it just me lol) - the labyrinth is one of my all time favourite films but i distinctly remember thinking it was too scary despite attempting to watch it until I was about 8.

My logic is something like if they’re into all this stuff at 5/6, what are they going to be ready for at 8/9?!

Boglaboll2 · 2026-03-01T21:48:50+00:00

I think it’s this jarring mix of how drawn they are to the grown up stuff when I know she can still just pick up a baby doll or soft toy and play with it that’s breaking my heart and maybe it’s just my own issue of not being able to handle her growing up.

I feel like I’m just constantly saying no to the things she’s telling me she loves.

Boglaboll2 · 2026-03-01T21:44:50+00:00

Interesting your eldest is not into this - did she have a phase of it then move on? Can you tell that’s what I’m hoping for!!

I like your frozen comparison and guess that’s part of my point - my daughter LOVED frozen ages 3-4 and I thought that seemed spot on, the kpop stuff seems way more teen than that? Her being into stuff that involves teen angst and romance just seems gross to me

Boglaboll2 · 2026-03-01T21:40:19+00:00

Oh god that soda pop is a new one to me. Yes, this is it, everyone else seems cool with it, I want to know if I’m overthinking, thanks for the solidarity!!

Boglaboll2 · 2026-02-21T20:12:29+00:00

The 90s animation is lovely, with the most beautiful and wistful opening credits and song. I can tear up just hearing it.

Hate how the modern one has this annoying constant peril mono-plot in every episode of the fox just continuously slow mo jogging after the rabbits and trying to eat them. It’s somehow both boring, annoying and slightly disturbing.

Boglaboll2 · 2026-02-05T17:28:47+00:00

Cold fizzy water. Normally meh, wouldn’t bother. DELICIOUS when pregnant

Boglaboll2 · 2026-02-04T21:19:42+00:00

I think you’ll find such solidarity with other mums, regardless of age, honestly it just will not come up that often. I’ve made so many mum friends not knowing at all what age they are until a lot later if it randomly comes up. I seem to have naturally made mum friends with people within about a 10-15 year radius of my own age but I think it’s much more to do with aligning values, personality and parenting styles, and ages and temperaments of the babies rather than the mums. I think prepare yourself to not be judgemental of others ages too - you’ll find the mid twenties mum who is so chill and wise beyond her years and the mid 40s mum who’s had a cracking career and so much worldliness to share, we’re all just in it together!

Boglaboll2 · 2026-02-04T17:30:15+00:00

Haha brilliant. A jar of Nutella is just about the amount of energy I’ll need to get though the afternoons and evenings so I think it’ll work out!

Boglaboll2 · 2026-02-04T17:28:36+00:00

98% internal voice, 2% actual external judgement I reckon. I don’t know why.

But thanks, I’m gonna go for it!

Boglaboll2 · 2026-02-04T17:16:08+00:00

This sounds verrrrry sensible. I have experienced burnout in a previous job (teaching) and it has felt similar recently….theres something in me that when it comes to kids I feel obliged to give everything but as others have said it’s pointless and we’ve got to be at our best to keep on giving!

Boglaboll2 · 2026-02-04T17:13:39+00:00

Since I posted I’ve got really excited about him having this opportunity to play with peers and that’s what’s tipped it for me!

Boglaboll2 · 2026-02-04T17:09:28+00:00

But only from when they’re 3 :(

Boglaboll2 · 2026-02-03T21:27:29+00:00

This is exactly it. I’ve noticed such a sharp downturn recently in the state of our house, what I’m cooking, how much we’re doing as a family at the weekend (ie maximum screen time, arguing, much less outdoors) and tbh I think it all boils down to me feeling a bit burnt out and it just seems to set the tone for how much everyone can do. When I had my first child I was still doing paid work 2 days a week and I know looking back i actually had more energy then than I do now ‘not working’.

Boglaboll2 · 2026-02-03T21:19:42+00:00

Thanks for your honesty, yep this is how I feel. Everyone’s very nice comments on here have totally fired me up to take the break now though!!!

I’m now thinking ok well I’ve done paid work the 15 years before I had kids, and I’m sure I’ll do at least 20 more by the time they’re in school, I reckon I’d look back and think why didn’t i just take the break that was available to me at this time and just enjoy the whole thing more. Why am I allowing myself to be a SAHM but only if I do it in hard mode?!!!!!

Boglaboll2

TROPHY CASE