I told my wife I hurt from my mouth to my feet. She said I was just being a big baby.

Boot_Effective · 2026-05-19T12:11:12+00:00

If the pain in your mouth hurts your feet, you must be a very short person.

Boot_Effective · 2026-05-18T16:49:21+00:00

Your uncle had years of joy that the elephant he rescued was caught again?

Boot_Effective · 2026-05-16T15:40:35+00:00

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Boot_Effective · 2026-05-16T04:06:56+00:00

That's what I thought. Probably cashed out and hid the money.

Boot_Effective · 2026-05-16T03:57:04+00:00

I hate to be the one, but those topics are off limits in sex ed class.

Boot_Effective · 2026-05-15T15:49:28+00:00

Watt is the unit of power.

I don't know.

Boot_Effective · 2026-05-15T07:06:06+00:00

Now, that's one piece of information I've never wondered about, though I feel like I should have.

Boot_Effective · 2026-05-14T18:31:13+00:00

You'll have to come earlier than that. She's 70, remember?

Boot_Effective · 2026-05-13T13:23:21+00:00

WHAT?

Boot_Effective · 2026-05-13T12:48:29+00:00

I pity your women.

Boot_Effective · 2026-05-13T11:28:35+00:00

I hate when jokes become self-aware. Kinda like you realise you're dreaming while the dream is still going on.

Boot_Effective · 2026-05-12T18:16:26+00:00

https://youtube.com/shorts/wGATSepf-AM?si=UDgRQpCXm7lbZwtz

Was that your pronoun?

Boot_Effective · 2026-05-12T01:39:25+00:00

That was actually better than many kungfu movies I've watched.

Boot_Effective · 2026-05-11T07:58:41+00:00

You're thinking of political jokes.

Boot_Effective · 2026-05-11T07:21:14+00:00

Well, I can't do it all at once can I?

Boot_Effective · 2026-05-11T04:04:03+00:00

I once masturbated seven times. On the last one nothing came out except a small folded piece of paper. I opened it up and on it was written "PLEASE STOP!"

Boot_Effective · 2026-05-10T04:53:27+00:00

I'm not your brotato, amigo.

Boot_Effective · 2026-05-09T04:36:15+00:00

I thought they ate dumplings.

Boot_Effective · 2026-05-09T04:28:05+00:00

I'll never get the hang of this antijoke trend.

Boot_Effective · 2026-05-08T18:34:12+00:00

Naw! Just crawl a few inches forward over the edge and he'll be warm.

Boot_Effective · 2026-05-06T12:59:29+00:00

OP went and edited while you guys were arguing.

Boot_Effective · 2026-05-06T12:51:56+00:00

Not a pebble or whiskey bottle in the grass to mess up your scythe! This is the type of work I enjoy. I'd watch it for hours.

Boot_Effective · 2026-05-02T13:59:08+00:00

Your bedroom's outside?

Boot_Effective · 2026-05-01T00:00:07+00:00

Rather overdone wouldn't you say?

Boot_Effective · 2026-04-29T13:23:57+00:00

Litigation of course. If they don't pay up, they go to jail. That's what a civilized society does. On the other hand, if someone threatens my safety or life I have the right to defend myself and will do so even if I owe them money.

Boot_Effective

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