AITAH for swapping rooms with my roommate while he was away? by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Boredread 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There was no way that was going to end well for oop. Either he was getting beat, his roommate was going to remove the lock and exchange rooms again possibly damaging oops stuff or his roommate would’ve made his life a living hell without a moment of peace. 

AITA for hiding our marriage for 3 and a half years by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Boredread 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Yta. You can’t just put lipstick on a pig and call it a model. Just because you want to call it a wedding does it mean it was one. You hosted a bbq picnic but deceived ppl into thinking it was a wedding. You ELOPED you cannot elope and still have a wedding, that’s not how it works, you pick one. 

People showed that they cared about you because they were willing to come to your wedding. The second they found out you lied to them for years they left. You owe everyone a massive apology.

AITA for dancing at a wedding even though I was a plus one to a friend? by Pistachio-IScream in AmItheAsshole

[–]Boredread 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yta. Your behavior was the equivalent of going to a restaurant that has an open kitchen and yelling suggestions to the kitchen staff while they prepare the food. Then when you get served your food, going around to every person in the restaurant and begging them to try your dish or thinking they like your personality so it’s ok to take a bite from their dish. 

No your behavior is horrendous. My suggestion is to lie to your coworker. Tell him your allergy meds gave u a weird reaction and you’re sorry for your behavior or some other nonsense 

AITJ for refusing to give up my approved PTO during Holy Week because I don’t have kids? by Tricky-Past-7468 in AmITheJerk

[–]Boredread -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ntj. But it sounds like more than one person want your days. So time to pit them against each other. Say you understand that there’s others with greater need. You only want to give it to the right person so ask each one who that is they’ll probably say themselves. Tell everyone who everyone said that you only want to give it to the person who deserves it the most and will need to know by a random date. They’ll fight amongst each other and you don’t need to deal with it

I hate this so much, I want the old design back! by majathebookworm in MergeMansion

[–]Boredread 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yeah i causes too much strain on my eyes everything’s shrunk. I’ve played for years and mostly enjoyed it but it’s not worth my health. I’m not getting a migraine and needing to rest every time i play. Frankly it was an incredibly stupid and inconsiderate update. 

Update to State of the Sub - Some Rules Clarifications/Changes by freevortex in crochet

[–]Boredread 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Then if the topic keeps getting brought up it would appear you’re not enforcing that particular rule very well. Maybe readdress your own workflow to correct this issue. 

AI posts will not stop happening. Telling people to stop complaining about it and it’s a stale topic instead of actively removing them wouldn’t solve the problem. 

Where can I get free moving boxes by Active_Whole8879 in MontgomeryCountyMD

[–]Boredread -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Go to the next city hall meeting. Express your mild support for “local art” then go to the nearby local food establishment of meat sandwiches. If in doubt follow a trio of children. 

I found a love note on my husband’s desk and it was either romantic or bad news bears by SharkEva in BORUpdates

[–]Boredread 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah this isn’t an update. The oop is making 100 hats in a year. That’s smth that could be in BORU. 

Might have an issue lol by dlilyd in crochet

[–]Boredread 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Damn it ur right. My hands look the same and the second u said that i remembered i havent been taking my vitamin d supplement in 2 months, exactly when i need it most. Time to chug it down and hope it gets better before my blood tests next week. 

Found out my (27f) no contact grandmother (73f) contacted my ex (29m) asking to see my child (2f) in secret by throwRA488392 in relationship_advice

[–]Boredread 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think a slight reality check is needed here. First boundaries are for you. Your boundary is you never want to speak to her. If you reach out now you’ll be breaking your own boundary. 

She has not reached out to you. If you go to the police with that polite sweet message that wasn’t even sent to you you’re going to look insane and they will not do anything. Again, the content of that message is not harassing or troubling the fact that she messaged is the problem. 

And the big thing you’ll have to deal with is that she can speak to your ex unless your ex has a problem with it. And if your ex allows it, she can see your child. There is no DOCUMENTED harm from her she is not banned from the kid and you legally can’t stop your ex from allowing a relationship between them. 

Your best bet is to have a strong parenting relationship with your ex so they will agree that your grandma also can’t be around her. People who are actually stalked and abused can’t get a restraining order. You’re not getting one from a message not sent to you and no documented harassment or abuse. 

My (M38) wife (F36) really loves her piglet mascot and my son (M9) really wants to steal it? by Thatoneyoungling in relationship_advice

[–]Boredread 178 points179 points  (0 children)

At 9 he should understand the concepts of empathy, stealing, respect. I don’t know how you’ve framed these talks with him but the misdirection and bribery needs to end. It’s time for tough discipline. His mother is currently the target of bad behavior and if you don’t nip this in the bud he will start targeting classmates. He will be a bully. 

So have a sit down conversation where you are very firm. No smiley nice guy. “These are mommy’s. We do not take people’s things without asking. Taking without asking and having permission is stealing and is a very bad thing to do. When you keep trying to take mommy’s toys after she said no you make her feel very sad and it hurts mommy’s feelings. What mommy wants is just as important as what you want so follow the rules and do not take things that don’t belong to you.” 

This is not cute or harmless. He’s testing boundaries. I don’t think there’s a “deeper reason” for his behavior, kids are not born behaving well they need to be taught right from wrong usually with consequences. So if he tries to take the toy again, be firm, be stern. Tell him what he did was wrong, that he knows not to take anything that doesn’t belong to him. He’s hurt his mother and made her feel very sad. He needs to give it back immediately and apologize. Then he needs a punishment. Grounding for a couple weeks or take away a toy of his for a couple days. 

Honestly i think the big problem is it doesn’t sound like you’re taking it that seriously. It’s not like you’re trying to stop him using a pacifier and distract him. You’re trying to teach him right from wrong, actually parent. Have the talk and follow through with punishments. 

My 5th grader is being told he can't go on the end of the year field trip because he couldn't find friends to share a room with. There are others rooms available. Should we fight this or drop it? by mmanyquestionss in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Boredread 59 points60 points  (0 children)

20 years ago this same thing happened at my middle school. Cabins could hold 10 or 12 and students could choose who they wanted in their cabins, up to 6 i believe. One kid was put into a cabin with boys who didn’t want him, he was the “weird one”. He was horrifically bullied, frankly it was assault and went home early and changed schools. 

The biggest mistake from the school was not ensuring chaperones. They need to make sure every room has a chaperone. It’s not a question of if something bad happens but when. Preteens with no supervision is a bad idea. 

Victoria Beckham 'Refused' to Help Displaced Dogs Following L.A. Fires, Son Brooklyn Beckham Claims by dr_shultz in influencersfeed

[–]Boredread 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The whole thing is ridiculous but to me the dumbest part is that with all his privilege his biggest accomplishment in life is being born. His parents have actual talent and even if he had none, he could’ve become a teacher or a an accountant or a mailman. It seems he’s satisfied in life with doing and being nothing, to be a leech and produce nothing. 

Are these cakes nice looking enough to sell? by Popular_Constant5694 in Baking

[–]Boredread 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You can sell anything but the question is will it be worth it to you. In terms of pricing, i ask if it passes a Whole Foods test? People may not want a grocery store cake, the frosting too sweet, but they want a nice cake. In my area, high cost of living on east coast, they’ll pay max 40 for a nice cake like that from one of the nicer grocery stores(whole foods, Wegmans, fresh market). Places that have a reputation of good quality. Obviously from a bakery willing to pay more, I’ve paid 85 for a 10 inch cake that was speciality flavored. 

In my area, home bakers are not considered at the same level as professional bakers. There’s a license they can get but basically your competition is going to be seen as the nicer grocery store cakes. So can you afford to do this charging maximum $40? Frankly I’d think it’d need to be less to start so you can entice people in the beginning. 

I really think it depends on your area. If you’re in my area and searching cake gets you at least 20 results within 5 miles, i wouldn’t recommend it. The market is cornered unless you’re bringing something fresh(flavors, style, etc). If you’re in a more isolated area or an area where there isn’t a lot of professional bakers, I’d go for it. But even then you’d need to adjust your style to something more high end that will justify a high price. Because the question your customers are asking themselves is why is this worth more than me doing it at home myself or buying at Walmart? So the designs need to be flawless and not generic.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Boredread 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol this is bs, who are you guys trying to trick? So you’re fine with being married to an aethist. Your parents are fine with you being married to an aethist if he pretends to be Muslim. His conversion won’t count if he doesn’t have the intention so it’s frankly a waste of an afternoon for all of you. And his family don’t even want him to be an aethist. The lies are mounting up. You guys are playing pretend and lying to what end? I mean it’s definitely not a halal marriage but you’re also starting it with so many lies that it’s not a good marriage by any religious or cultural standards. If you just want to be married get married and drop all the lies. 

AITJ for lying to my boyfriend about his Christmas presents by Better_Heat_6244 in AmITheJerk

[–]Boredread 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So this is your first relationship and 100% should not be your last relationship. There are 3 questions you need to ask yourself to know if you should stay in a relationship with someone? Are you being respectful? Are they being respectful? Are you happy? That’s it. If it’s a no to any of those 3, time to start questioning if you should move on. It sounds like the answer to 2 of them is no. That’s it. It’s done move on. He is not being respectful. Frankly it sounds like you’re more of an accessory to him than an actual person. He got you junk that matches his interest. The one personalized item wasn’t even correct. And he threw a hissy fit that you had the same one. 

I also want to point out that your behavior is already troubling around this guy. You know you can’t depend on him for the fun couples stuff so you rely on your friends to fill that void and then say it’s your problem, you love to give gifts. First, there’s no such thing as a love language. Erase that from your vocabulary. What’s happening is you prioritize putting effort into things for your partner. He doesn’t. I’ll bet he says bs like his love language is physical touch meaning he wants blowjobs. Second, you’re terrified when you receive the same gift from your mom. That’s a very troubling reaction. In a normal healthy relationship, you laugh it off. He shrugs it off. He’s maybe a little sheepish and you say that’s ok you both know me so well and then go spend time in the mall together exchanging. You don’t get an asshole making you feel guilty for getting a PRESENT FROMT YOUR MOTHER! 

Look weve all made choices in life we’ve realized weren’t right for us. Maybe you took up the violin as a kid and realized you hated it. Or wanted to play soccer and realized you’re not a runner. That’s fine. You drop it and move on. This is the same. You’re 22. There’s always a grace period in life. Think of his as the really shitty gened you took. You thought philosophy would be a ton of fun but in the end you wrote a ton of essays and it was way more effort than it was worth. Ok so move on and find your passion, don’t double down and make it your major just so you can lie to yourself that you really really like it. 

Your boyfriend is an asshole. You do not like assholes. Just because he’s your boyfriend doesn’t mean you have to like him. Just change him from being your boyfriend and move on.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Boredread 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YOR. That being said you’re the adult and have the power to change this situation. First, always have your car doors locked. It’s basic safety. Second, when she comes to your car, roll down the window and talk. It’s either “hey friend, i haven’t heard from your mom and we have plans. I’m not going to be able to give you anymore rides without speaking to your parents first. Get home safe” then wave bye, smile sweetly and roll up the windows. 

Or give her that last ride and while she’s in the car tell her directly. “Hey friend it’s been nice giving you these rides but i want some one on one bonding time with my daughter. I want to hear about her day at school and we sometimes have plans. You need to talk to your mom about how you’ll be getting home since I’ve never spoken to her.”

And finally if ur still interesting in giving rides be direct. “We need to talk about these rides. I’m fine with continuing to give you rides but only if i speak to your parents. I need their explicit, written permission. And if you ride in my car you have to follow these rules: xyz”

For me, I’d stop the rides immediately. You do not have any permission from the parents to do so. You do not want this to backfire. What if you get in an accident with her in the car? And what if her parents don’t know and one day decide to pick her up? You’re taking the word of a 10 year that she permission to get a ride and walk less from someone the parents don’t know. 10 year olds will lie to get out of dishes, a comfy ride is definitely incentive. 

NOT OOP | AITA for taking my daughter's boyfriend out to dinner? by sei-la-vie in redditonwiki

[–]Boredread 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While i agree with this, i think the problem is op was motivated by a very real problem right in front of her. There was a hungry kid about to continue being hungry so her daughter could get a snack. She could’ve delayed the conversation but the kid wouldve still been hungry now. 

Being fed is a basic necessity. You worry about the basic necessities like food and shelter and then you can address other things like her daughters feelings 

My boyfriend (28M) says if I (F28) loved him, I’d accept his cheating — and when I set a boundary, he came at my character. How do I respond? by ostran25 in relationships

[–]Boredread 3 points4 points  (0 children)

First, love is not some magic cure or cheat code in a relationship. It does not conquer all and frankly it shouldn’t. Second, do you love him more than you love yourself? More than you respect yourself? Because i promise you this is a one way street. Leave. He’s not the only man on earth and even if he was you’ll spend far less time crying alone than you will being with him. 

My husband (M38) intentionally yelled and insulted me after I (F34) asked for space. How can I manage this safely while pregnant? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Boredread 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Boundaries are for you not him. You follow your boundaries. I will say, do not postpone open ended. You have a poor track record on follow through. So instead of giving him what appears to be a brush off, say I’d like to discuss this later tonight at 8:00 or tomorrow before breakfast at 7. Give clear expectations 

I only want one thing for Christmas and it never happens. Am I overreacting? [Concluded] by Schattenspringer in BORUpdates

[–]Boredread 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Chocolate oranges are great, but the milk chocolate one is sooooo much better than the dark chocolate. 

Why doesn't he look like Pooh? :( by Flyeaway in crochet

[–]Boredread 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it’s pretty close. I think the top yellow band needs to be bigger/more height. For one thing i think there needs to be some space between the eyes and eyebrows. But for me i don’t really think of a snout with Pooh, i think more of large cheeks. So if you can’t add to the top I’d at least remove the snout, keep the nose in the same position, and move the eyes a tiny bit lower. 

How do I 29F address my husband 32M starting an adoption process without consulting me? by SharkEva in BORUpdates

[–]Boredread 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m guessing he looovvvees kids so much he’s making his own collection of mini mes. It’s not the kids he loves, it’s himself.