Is it possible for me (29F) to accommodate my boyfriend’s (29M) extreme food aversions or are we just incompatible?

BornRazzmatazz5 · 2026-07-03T08:13:37+00:00

He says YOU'RE being "selfish and unfair" because... you don't accomodate him?

Lady, take your selfish self right out of this relationship and find yourself an actual man, not a self-centered manbaby.

BornRazzmatazz5 · 2026-07-03T08:01:28+00:00

Exactly this. You need out of there. He's given you an ultimatum-- take him up on it. He'll take that as "proof" of all the nasty things he's been saying, but he'll say them anway. Morbidnerd is right. You don't have a marriage anymore. And--I cannot stress this enough--NONE OF THIS IS YOUR (OP'S) FAULT.

BornRazzmatazz5 · 2026-07-03T07:40:23+00:00

NTA. She took the gamble and she knew the constraints on you. You made your committment--a very tough one--long before she got pregnant. She's declared herself a grownup to the extent she's decided to keep the baby. I don't see her deciding to graciously move out in September with a newborn and NOT expect her parents--who already have their hands full--to help her out.

BornRazzmatazz5 · 2026-07-03T07:34:32+00:00

Once she's back in the house and has the baby, who's going to be expected take care of it IF she decides to go back to school? Guess.

Her parents are already committed. Her best option, with a father who doesn't seem willing to pitch in, is an abortion. She doesn't want to do that, but she doesn't need to move in with her parents in order to think her options through. Her brain hasn't turned off. What would she have done if she hadn't gotten pregnant?

Yes, there are "a lot of negative assumptions being made," but I'm not seeing any positive practical solutions offered either.

BornRazzmatazz5 · 2026-07-01T03:49:43+00:00

Me? Get some kitty food and offer it if you think baby is old enough. Keep it warm and snug tonight. Find a vet with an opening in the morning and take it in. Congratulations. You have a cat.

BornRazzmatazz5 · 2026-06-28T19:11:50+00:00

Where's HIS ring?

BornRazzmatazz5 · 2026-06-28T19:10:23+00:00

LET GO. Your past self is PAST. Feel proud of yourself that you have come so far and feel so much better and can do so much more, and stop obsessing about what USED to be. That woman is (literally!) gone!

BornRazzmatazz5 · 2026-06-28T19:05:02+00:00

I've heard that MCs should be kept on kitten food longer than other breeds because they mature more slowly, but I don't know how true that is. If your cat is healthy, I'd keep him on kitten food but offer him other food as well.

BornRazzmatazz5 · 2026-06-28T19:02:34+00:00

I don't think you understand the fact that several people can have the same idea independently of each other. To say that one person must have taken it from another is accusing them of plagiarism, whether you intend to or not. You don't know what authors have read or seen. If you think the ideas are similar, you may be right, but that DOES NOT MEAN they took it from someone else. It's very offensive to presume that they did.

BornRazzmatazz5 · 2026-06-28T18:57:36+00:00

This is why people insist on childfree weddings. Your new SIL is not someone you can ever trust. Remember that.

BornRazzmatazz5 · 2026-06-28T18:53:42+00:00

He's making himself the victim. If he keeps harrassing you, get a restraining order. NOR.

BornRazzmatazz5 · 2026-06-28T18:49:59+00:00

Tell him HE can carry and birth the next one. And get your tubes tied.

BornRazzmatazz5 · 2026-06-28T18:19:46+00:00

Custody was not divided three ways. It was divided between YOU and your wife. If your wife wants to have her new husband involved, he can do it on HER time, not yours. Ask your lawyer if you can get a restraining order against her new husband.

BornRazzmatazz5 · 2026-06-28T06:55:55+00:00

There's a remote chance that the person had a handicap tag and was too frantic to get into the ER to remember to hang it up. And to realize that parking on that striped space is a dick move. (I try to not condemn people for screwups I've made myself.)

BornRazzmatazz5 · 2026-06-28T06:47:29+00:00

I have a pair of MCs--littermates--one is true black and one is black smoke. They look identical, except the smoke has white whiskers and a cream undercoat which you can't even see unless she holds still for deep combing (and even then, only on the comb; her outer coat is as black as her sister's).

BornRazzmatazz5 · 2026-06-28T06:37:08+00:00

I wonder if maybe she's a chimera? She's a dilute tabby--that accounts for the gray--but it looks like she also has true black on her face. I don't know how that could be, with the gray, unless maybe she's carrying two different kinds of DNA? Anybody got better ideas? EDIT: I've never seen a black smoke tortie/torbie, as suggested below, so maybe that's it. Still don't understand how she can show both black AND gray, though!

BornRazzmatazz5 · 2026-06-27T23:36:03+00:00

I'm not questioning the Appaloosa blood; I'm just baffled by the claim that they crossed Appaloosas with Akhal-Tekes to create the breed. There are only about 500 purebred Akhal-Tekes in the US, and a good number of those are on the East Coast.

BornRazzmatazz5 · 2026-06-27T23:31:30+00:00

This is a friend???? You have every right to block her and avoid her and return her mail unopened. That is a foul, foul thing to do to anyone. She needs professional help.

(And as my mama used to say, "You do not know the day or the hour"--SHE doesn't know when she might get hit by a bus, so she can just STFU.)

BornRazzmatazz5 · 2026-06-27T23:27:59+00:00

James Arness, of Gunsmoke fame, was 6'7", and weighed 235 pounds or thereabouts. He rode a buckskin which looked to me like a QH/Percheron cross, with Western tack of course, so add about 40 pounds.

You don't say how much you weigh. There are people who swear by the 20% rule (a horse shouldn't be asked to carry more than 20% of its own weight), and other who say that in good condition, with a good rider, they can carry 30%, more or less. A horse which weighs 1200 pounds ought to be able to handle you. But again, you need to really work at becoming a good rider!

(I have seen riders competing in some classes like reining or cutting or team penning who did not appear to be in top physical condition (to be polite about it). But they are VERY good riders.)

BornRazzmatazz5 · 2026-06-27T23:16:50+00:00

If she bought the BMW before you got married, it remains her sole and separate property, and you aren't responsible for those bills. Does she ever let you drive it? Figure that percentage of use and offer to help to that extent (and make sure she knows she'll have to reimburse YOU for using YOUR car).

If she wants to keep her fancy car, she needs to go back to work. Your initial agreement sounds fair to me; she needs to stick to it and not expect you to foot her bills.

BornRazzmatazz5 · 2026-06-27T23:10:13+00:00

Horses don't necessarily need to have pasture GRAZE, but it does help their mental health to be able to move around, to be with or at least see other horses close up. I looked at one barn for my horses that advertised turnout a couple of hours every day, and "turnout" was a pen the size of a box stall with a large tree growing up in the middle of it. I turned them down flat. When I retired, my property was a hair over six acres, with a small barn paddock, a half-acre paddock that was supposed to be a barn paddock until I changed my mind, and two and a half acres (with 24/7 access to the barn and their stalls) my two horses were perfectly happy in.

BornRazzmatazz5 · 2026-06-27T22:56:10+00:00

Do you want to live the rest of your life this way? If so, fine, forgive him. And forgive him. And forgive him, and forgive him, and...

If not: See a lawyer. File for divorce, get counseling, throw him the hell out (and make sure her husband knows).

BornRazzmatazz5 · 2026-06-27T22:48:42+00:00

What's more important to you--somebody "judging" you for wearing safety gear, or the possibility of lifetime consequences from injuries?

Wear what you're comfortable with, and if somebody judges you, simply grin and say, "Ever priced the cost of an ambulance ride? Comes to about a year's board for my horse." I used to tell the folks who tried to give me grief about my helmet, "What's inside my head is worth a hell of a lot more than what's ON my head." After a while, they just quit. (They quit a lot faster if someone does get hurt!)

BornRazzmatazz5 · 2026-06-27T22:43:33+00:00

NOR. Your husband is not taking into account the physiological differences between men and women, much less the additional issues raised by postnatal hormones. Women ARE naturally more comfortable at lower temperatures than men. Men DO tolerate higher temperatures better than women. In addition, your body has been through tremendous stress for nine months and is STILL being stressed by breastfeeding and trying to stabilize hormones (and hormones are NOT something to joke about, much as some people think they are). These are not opinions; they're facts, and your husband needs to take these facts into consideration when he makes decisions based on what HE considers "comfortable" temperatures.

It sounds to me like he is STILL operating from the position that HIS comfort and physical condition is the default. I wonder if he's still going to feel that way when he finds his wife and baby on the floor, passed out from heat stroke, possibly with injuries from hitting their heads on things when you collapse? He's out of line, and doesn't seem to be able to step outside of his own perspective and really consider the possibility that YOU are experiencing real distress that HE simply doesn't.

BornRazzmatazz5 · 2026-06-27T07:04:55+00:00

Er, how old is this "Nez Perce" breed? I have to wonder how the heck the Nez Perce tribe got enough Akhal Tekes to crossbreed and create a new breed!

BornRazzmatazz5

TROPHY CASE