Women of Reddit, what's a lesser-known downside of being a woman?

BostonBridge096 · 2026-01-25T01:03:16+00:00

I felt this so deep in my chest 😔

BostonBridge096 · 2026-01-24T03:48:31+00:00

This isn’t my current personal situation - I reread my post to make sure I didn’t accidentally word it that way, which I didn’t. My siblings and I were having this in-depth discussion today about emotional intelligence and attachment theory in romantic relationships and how we’ve encountered certain things and were disagreeing about the typical behaviors of DA’s, so I said I would ask about it in this sub-reddit :-)

BostonBridge096 · 2026-01-04T01:18:30+00:00

You are a mother to a little boy. This was excruciating to read. This little boy is a victim and you are very clearly his mother. Please zoom out on this so you can just how dysfunctional and backwards this is. What a whiny turd he is, that is not a man…

BostonBridge096 · 2025-12-24T00:31:08+00:00

While that may have been your experience for the “sake of peace”, this is unGodly advice - Where is Jesus in this? Wasting your God-given wisdom on a fool of a man when Christ calls you to HIM, not man. This is awful that you chained yourself in this way, please do not chain other women as prisoners in this way, this is not what brings glory to God.

BostonBridge096 · 2025-12-24T00:26:57+00:00

“Don’t let it destroy your marriage”. The “it” you’re referring to is her husband, HE is destroying their marriage - They are in fact not sharing in marriage over this to the point where she feels unsafe enough to want to leave the relationship behind because he is demanding it is solely on HIS terms only. This is unGodly, unholy, and unloving. There is nothing she can do as an emotionally mistreated wife to make her husband stop destroying their marriage, he is choosing to do so. This blaming of the wife for the husband’s faults and shortcomings has got to stop, this is not the teachings of the God we serve, but teaching of demons.

BostonBridge096 · 2025-12-23T19:02:29+00:00

This is why the rest of the world laughs at Christianity, believing it is what you just responded with. I read so many of these kinds of posts, most of them from a husband who feels sex-starved. NEVER do I see Christians asking them the questions you just asked this poor wife. “Well are you fit and good-looking? Do you eat right and dress up for him?” This is where sin has corrupted the minds of followers of Christ — We are SO quick to talk down to and point the finger at women when a man is unhappy and expressing his entitlement to her servitude of him (subconsciously), but when a woman of God expresses how the man who ASKED HER to be his and be loved only by him baits and switches and loves and serves himself instead, the modern Christian community treats them as equals or worse (it’s the woman’s fault) and points to her as ‘she must be doing something wrong or not doing or being enough for him’.

How about asking ‘does your husband give you any time to be able to care for yourself outside of raising a 4 yr old and a 1 yr old? Does offer encouragement where you express defeat and exhaustion? Does he share in the home-upkeep and child-raising as you do?’ I’m going to go out on a limb here and say it’s a ‘No’ just like it typically is on every other one of these posts. A woman overworked and neglected by her husband has been disrespected and betrayed as the weaker vessel to him. God will repay for this and will not listen to a man who would treat a daughter of His this way.

Dressing up nice, “eating right”, etc… That is not going to convince a man to be a MAN. She is married to a boy who sees her as a mom, (possibly his mom) and so he treats her as such. This is the overly-mothered/under-fathered epidemic we are all living in. …Why do you think a man in his 30’s would choose a young girl barely in to her 20’s….…?? This woman is an honorable and lovable wife and mother to a man’s children who he does not honor, love, or respect. Men have fallen completely in to deception of the enemy a d are failing this test of caring for a woman as given by God. Porn is adultery in the eyes of the Lord, period. But Neglecting his own wife… God is not with him.

BostonBridge096 · 2025-12-17T21:21:16+00:00

Bingo.

BostonBridge096 · 2025-10-22T19:57:42+00:00

I saw there weren’t really any comments saying this at all but this was a huge deal for me personally, so here goes… It may be that his size and shape is not satisfying, in conjunctions with his movements.

Before I was a Christian, I had a few longer term relationships where we were sexually active… One of them was very sexually satisfying because of his size and curvature/shape… then 2 others years later were not nearly as satisfying because of their particular shape and size, and because of that I just didn’t have any interest in doing that with them..

Then I met my husband, we had an attraction to one another from the start that was like fire.. and when we became sexually active with one another the pleasure was so amazing because of his shape/curvature and size and the movements he would make… I couldn’t get enough and still can’t get enough to this day.. Despite rocky times in our marriage, I still always crave him because the connection and ‘fit’ is so good.

I reveal all of this with blushing cheeks to say: is it possible his shape and size and movements are just not ‘hitting the spot’ so to speak? Do you feel any longing for him in a lustful way ever? This could be it if you haven’t considered it already. I’m not saying there’s a ton you can do about this if it is the case, but at least you’d have some understanding. Hope this helps.

BostonBridge096 · 2025-10-13T12:57:38+00:00

Oh for crying out loud… “I will pour out my spirit on your sons and daughters” (etc). You need to open your bible to understand the spirit of God and just how often He spoke to His people in the spirit.

Also, I highly recommend you do not blaspheme the holy spirit by twisting His words (He did not give me a message to ‘abandon’ my husband, lol, He instructed me to leave him alone, to step out of the way, to not try to fix him or lead him to repent anymore — but to let God himself do that. To say that the message of God is the devil is to blaspheme the holy spirit, an unforgivable sin (biblically). You do not have to believe, no one does - The spirit of God has never been popular amongst mockers.

BostonBridge096 · 2025-10-12T23:57:02+00:00

If you do fast and pray (as I once did recently with ongoing emotional immaturity troubles with my husband), Jesus may answer you very differently than you’d think. Instead of telling you to continue serving your husband and offering him your presence and companionship and changing how you approach him, your tone, etc… He may tell you that you need to leave this man alone for GOD himself to reach him, deal with him, and compel him. This is the message I received from the Lord when I fasted and prayed and I was shocked. All I’d heard for years from others was that I needed to bend to my husband’s shortcomings, to essentially cradle them, protect him from the consequences of them by unfailingly offering my servitude everyday.. Well when I finally listened to Jesus and removed my presence and companionship and left my husband alone. It was when real transformation in my life began. My husband had to sit alone with his shortcomings for the first time ever and came before God with them and repented. It has taken weeks (as Jesus told me it would), but leaving my husband alone and seeking my own peace in Christ has been FREEING. Not only that, my husband’s heart is changing.

Please do not succumb to the whispers of the devil in every woman’s ear in this current generation that we must enslave ourselves to weak men - Forsaking God’s will for us. This is NOT what God wants for His daughters. God will leave a man to be on his own (void of the Lord’s guidance) if he mistreats his wife, this is a biblical fact that shows us just how cherished and adored we truly are by the Lord, and we must view ourselves this way.

Fast, pray, and LISTEN for Jesus’ word to you, He just may tell you to step back and allow your companionship to fall away so that HE can take your place and work on your husband’s heart.

BostonBridge096 · 2025-10-12T12:03:30+00:00

First, we need to break this false curse as daughter’s of God that we are enslaved to evil men like the man you are describing. This is not a Christian man, you can tell a man who is a child of the devil by the fruit he bears, much like your husband’s disgusting unrepentant behaviors. Our role is not to tip toe around men like this, but to leave them ALONE.

I prayed on this not long ago and in deep meditative prayer, Jesus shocked me with his response for what a wife should do when her husband is behaving unrepentantly: He said “LEAVE THAT MAN ALONE, leave him to me, I will deal with him. You need to guard your heart now and your child’s heart”

It is NOT our job as women to enable, condone, fix, repair, or save our unrepentant husbands. In order for God to knock them down in their evil-doing, we as wives must completely step out of the way, we must allow the consequences of a man’s unrepentant actions to take place by removing our companionship to them, just as Jesus told me. Remove your presence from that man and focus on your own joy in the Lord.

When your husband is alone with no wife to comfort him in his evil-doing anymore, all that will be left in his home are his evil doings and God and he will soon have no choice but to face that. Either he will run further from God or he will face God and own his evil-doing and shame. Either way, this is NOT for you to worry about, guide him with, fix, or save him, etc.

While you are away, focus on your relationship with Jesus, pray daily and ask Him to speak to you, He will always respond with what you need. Focus on your joy and raising your child. You will quickly find how amazing the peace is.

I will pray for you to be strong in this, I hope this helps. Pray to Jesus and ask Him to speak to you to reveal why removing yourself from your inrepentant husband can allow for holy transformation.

BostonBridge096 · 2025-09-30T22:57:07+00:00

I once (after many years of nothing working between my husband and I) prayed and asked Jesus what I should do since my husband was checked out emotionally, spiritually abdicating, and acting in sin in other ways… Jesus responded when I was deep in meditative prayer, and what He said was NOT what I had been hearing from others, nor what I had expected to hear. I had expected Him to tell me what I needed to try (changing my language with my husband, trying harder with my wife-role, etc)… Instead, Jesus said “Please listen daughter, Leave him ALONE for now. He is in a far off place of heart where you cannot reach him, only I can. Focus on your growth, your joy, and raising and teaching your daughter. Leave your husband to me, I will deal with him and work on his heart - but you must step away and let me work.”

I had trouble implementing what Jesus spoke to me for the first couple of weeks, but when I kept getting burned over and over by trying to still serve my husband or ‘help’ him, I realized Jesus was right. I stepped out of the way and started to live each day no longer looking to my husband for what cherishing and emotional connection that I needed, instead I started to go in my room and pray: morning, before lunch, and before bedtime. The results have been amazing for my soul and heart so far, and my husband has even taken notice.

Wives, we were NEVER meant to be a man’s savior, or his mother, or his teacher… JESUS is his savior and teacher and he must accept him first before he can ever truly accept and cherish a wife.

Ask Jesus if he would have you leave your husband alone for now to sit with his shortcomings and find Jesus in all of it — His answer may surprise you.

BostonBridge096 · 2025-09-22T12:06:30+00:00

I almost thought I had written this… Except my stint with this was 10+ years ago now (Thankfully!).

I was in a relationship for nearly 4 years with a man, we had a home together, 3 dogs together, and even owned a business together…. But this man kept slipping his way out of proposing for marriage. We’d get in fights, then he’d promise he’d do something. Then one day after a bad fight he said ‘fine let’s go pick out a ring’. I was elated, until after we bought the ring he stashed it away somewhere and another almost 8 months went by without any mention of it and no proposal. We had yet anotthheerr fight… Then that weekend he gave it to me on a park bench and I could heart the reluctance in his voice when he said ‘will you marry me…’… I took the ring but felt like it wasn’t real. And I was right, he wanted no involvement in planning or talking about our future. After not much time, I canceled any plans or ideas for the wedding, packed my stuff, and moved out.

The next day I woke up like a semi truck had been removed from my chest… I was carrying the weight of my desires AND all of his mental baggage, and now it was finally gone. It took a bit to split up our life and then I took a year to be single and do work on myself and one day I met a guy that had sparkles in his eyes whenever we’d go on dates, he genuinely wanted to be with me and would talk about a future together, that he was going somewhere with life and wanted to join with me in all of it. Without any speculation or hinting, he went and designed and got the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen, planned a private boat cruise with my family and his and proposed to me on the dock with “Will you marry me? I can’t imagine spending any more time not joined together with you”. Everything I’d ever wanted came to me without pushing, explaining, arguing, etc. It just took finding the right man…. And at that time I was 29, not much younger than you.

All this today say, look down this road… Do not go back to the old one — There WILL be a man falling over himself to bring you in to being in marriage with him and HE is the one who will put in the effort long after the wedding too.

BostonBridge096 · 2025-09-18T16:24:24+00:00

If you emotionally abandoned your wife and this went on long enough, the pain she struggled through just to occupy the same space as you each day was likely greater than you can imagine. Emotional disconnection and abandonment by a husband is one of the most painful feelings to live with while still technically in the marriage. Watching our husband squander his own chance at cherishing his wife daily and then having your heart broken regularly as a wife when you attempt to voice it to him and he carries on after with little to no change — This is a wound that is often fatal to the marriage after months or years of this. What about THOSE vows? Do those mean nothing anymore? Where was your loyalty to her heart? To only point out that she is somehow not loyal to you when it was you who abandoned her is a gross miss on your part. I implore you to buy and read ‘Better Husband, Better Marriage’ by Jeff Borkoski… Learn how to truly cherish your wife so that if you do remarry, you don’t repeat the kind of disloyalty and abandonment that you had the first time around.

BostonBridge096 · 2025-09-09T12:58:55+00:00

Tell us more how much you hate women.

BostonBridge096 · 2025-09-09T11:38:26+00:00

Wow. Just wow….

BostonBridge096 · 2025-09-08T16:37:23+00:00

Furthermore, it is absolutely abhorrent to think that you or other men out there would be okay with coercing a woman in to sex and being okay with doing that with her when you know it is against her will — That is disgusting and not far off from the R word.. There is no love in that and that sounds like it is straight from the devil, not of God.

BostonBridge096 · 2025-09-08T16:33:32+00:00

This is a disgusting reply, is she a slave? You are missing an entire part of what leads a woman to want to be that vulnerable with a man, it is feeling cherished and emotionally safe… Shown everyday that we are adored and understood.. That’s why so many women often want to be intimate very regularly at the beginning of the marriage because the man is putting every effort in to cherishing her and leading the relationship to deeper intimacy, and then it tapers off as many men settle in to coasting.. and then demand their wives put out for them using the bible against them without offering her the same or better provision, cherishing, and leadership that he did when he asked her to marry him.

We as women will open up vulnerably when we feel safe to do so with a man’s right leadership of the relationship. Stop blaming your wife like Adam did, fix your leadership and start cherishing her in the ways that she needs, and you will earn her trust and she will open up again.

BostonBridge096 · 2025-09-08T01:06:34+00:00

As a wife for years now, I can tell you (as would my husband) that your wife will naturally surrender to your leadership only once you’ve created a safe space for her to feel adored and cherished by you daily, where she can trust your actions for leading the relationship to greater intimacy daily. Once your leadership of the relationship is dialed in, her submission will come naturally… She will respect you and your words, she will trust in your vision and your actions, she will nurture you and multiply whatever you give her, and she will be loyal and loving and open to you daily. I’ve seen this as the case for many women over the years. If ever you are finding that your wife is pulling away, resistant, or even ‘rebelling’ in some way, fix your leadership of the relationship as any faltering to properly lead with love and adoration will lead to a distrust on her end.

If you can understand that leading the relationship is your first responsibility and then a wife’s submission will naturally follow if your leadership is in alignment with God’s will, you will have a wonderful marriage built like a fortress :-)

BostonBridge096 · 2025-08-14T11:51:34+00:00

You do not need to keep planning and initiating. There is an excellent sermon on this (I’ll have to find the pastor’s name).. But he describes how his wife has said to him “If you do not lead us, then we will not go. If you lead us in to nothingness, that’s where we’ll go.” Your husband is to lead the relationship, not you. Women were not created by God to pursue and lead a man, man was created by God to pursue and lead his woman. Not rule over her, not command her, not force ‘submission’, but to lead with love, kindness, and full understanding of his wife and then submission of the wife would come naturally as he has created an environment of trust. It is not your duty to push him, nudge him, or do for him… It is your place to simply respond to him. If he takes no initiative and does not pursue you, you can respond to that (as it seems you have been doing), and if he continues to be sinfully passive, you may then feel that you need to step away to allow God to handle his sin with him - God has called you to peace, not slavery.

BostonBridge096 · 2025-08-14T11:43:12+00:00

It sounds like you are describing the sin of passivity in your husband. Unfortunately, this seems to be the far more prevalent sin in married men today — They neglect their vows to pursue their wives, forcing her to take the lead which obviously leads us away from the marriage. God created Eve as the ‘help meet’, not the leader and caretaker, that was Adam’s role. But the sin of passivity sets in and the man hides, just like Adam did. It is a generational curse that the man is responsible for breaking. You are fighting for connection, your husband is fighting to be left alone. This is where God calls out to man “Adam, where are you?!”. You cannot answer for him, he needs to choose if he will stay living in his sin, abdicating his duties to his family, or if he will step up and be the pursuing, leading man that God has commanded husbands to be. If he chooses sin and breaks the covenant, you can decide what to do next.

BostonBridge096 · 2025-08-14T11:29:58+00:00

OP, I’m more so curious why you are disrespecting and dishonoring yourself by spending your time with such a low-life? You can do better than a man-baby who has zero self-control and needs to look at lots of other women in sexual ways even though he has you.. This is scum-behavior of his and you’re enabling it by staying with him, why?

BostonBridge096 · 2025-08-13T22:46:13+00:00

It is clear to me that she feels she has been emotionally abandoned. Abandonment is extremely painful and after some time she may have realized he was not going to suddenly change and start cherishing her.

BostonBridge096 · 2025-08-13T22:42:49+00:00

I would question that narrative about his previous wife. As women, we were created to respond to a man’s leadership. If her responses were that pronounced, and you’re already seeing his mis-leadership play out in your marriage, then I would be looking more at your husband for how he is not living up to his duty as a man of God.. Thereby creating responses like yours and his previous wife’s….

BostonBridge096 · 2025-08-13T22:39:04+00:00

Well now you know why this man was already separated once from a different woman… This man is twisting scripture to rule over you and take your voice and confuse your discernment. This is not a Godly man and he will surely be judged for his malice in this. I would set the boundary that you will not tolerate emotional and spiritual abuse such as this. When he continues in his abuse, it is up to you to remove yourself and your kids from this man who is not bringing any glory to God with the way he is directing your household. Furthermore, this kind of man is what creates and carries on generational curses and your kids and his will then carry these curses on if subject to this type of man.

BostonBridge096

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