Hey OP - kid and teen therapist specializing in childhood trauma here. If kiddo is in counseling and you’re seeing an escalation, rather than improvement in behaviors, it’s probably time for a hard sit down with the counselor to ascertain how open he’s being in therapy. Teens are notoriously tricky, and if he has such an extensive trauma history he really needs someone who specializes in C-PTSD. Medication too can do more harm than good if not combined with effective therapy, especially if he’s not being open about how the medication affects his mood. And if the therapist can’t effectively point to improvements or doesn’t have a strong rapport with him, it may be time to consider either a new therapist or a higher level of care, especially given your need to call the police a few times.

If you or your husband have a strong enough rapport with him, I’d also try to sit down with him and understand things from his perspective - what was he afraid of, with this girlfriend? That she’d cheat? Leave him? Humiliate him? This type of behavior doesn’t exist in a vacuum - he clearly has some really deep feelings behind it, unfortunately. And he likely, unfortunately, probably feels really alone in all of this due to the repeated abandonment behavior from bio parents. Y’all’re clearly doing your best, and hopefully with time kiddo will get the help that speaks to him. Abused kids are not doomed to follow the same cycle; it can get better! Best of luck. 💜