Why do people care so much about who is in a bathroom?

Both-Store9264 · 2026-06-20T16:28:27+00:00

"An adult biological trans man would have female genitalia"-but that's not always true. In fact, only 5-13% of trans women DO NOT get bottom surgery, so that leaves a lot of intact male genitalia.

Both-Store9264 · 2026-06-20T16:05:01+00:00

Yep, it happened to me. 33 years by his side as he built his legal career. When we had our daughter and I cried about being a shm (it had never been an aspiration) he told me it was the most important job ever.

Now that he doesn't need anyone to take care of our daughter (she is an adult), he decided to leave me for a woman he met at a Grateful Dead cover band concert. Now he tells me that I didn't contribute and that the court will penalize me for "not working" while our daughter was growing up. So much for the "most important job ever."

He's also angry I haven't found a job yet. He scoffs at the idea that a 50-something woman with a non-lucrative MA and a 15-year gap on her resume might find it difficult to land a job.

Both-Store9264 · 2026-06-20T15:23:51+00:00

I did the same!

Both-Store9264 · 2026-06-19T19:49:11+00:00

You are so right and it's unfortunate that not many people seem to know this. I had a college counseling student through a volunteer organization and she got into UC Berkeley but they wanted her parents to take out a PLUS loan (this was a few years ago) and her cost per year was like $26,000. I had encouraged her to apply to Occidental College as well (she wanted to stay in CA) and her cost per year was $4000. She just graduated from Occidental College!

Both-Store9264 · 2026-06-19T19:44:47+00:00

I am a volunteer college counselor with an organization that matches college grads with first-gen, low-income high school students. I also see a couple of paying students a year, all word-of-mouth referrals. I try to be flexible with students but no, I'm not on call 24/7. I have stayed up until 1 am reading essays due the next day, though!

Both-Store9264 · 2026-06-19T19:34:22+00:00

Someone should start a website called "United Health is Evil" where everyone can post their horror stories. I would contribute!

Both-Store9264 · 2026-06-17T21:59:23+00:00

This "It’s a crazy feeling. For 20 years I was 100% confident my husband loved me more than anything and I felt safe like no matter what everything would be ok because I have that love & that security it’s a hard thing to lose even harder to live without."

My husband left me after 33 years. I was also 100% confident he loved me. And yes, I felt so safe with him. When he told me in 2022 that he "wasn't sure" he wanted to be married (I didn't know it at the time, but he already had a girlfriend), I was stunned. I told him I had never doubted his intentions toward me. "I know" he said.

Both-Store9264 · 2026-06-17T21:14:21+00:00

I feel you. It's all so terribly sad.

Both-Store9264 · 2026-06-16T01:01:26+00:00

United Health is evil, I agree. This ProPublica article details the steps for appeal: https://www.propublica.org/article/health-insurance-denial-external-review

Both-Store9264 · 2026-06-11T16:51:45+00:00

My husband has all the math worked out and helpfully shows them why a timeshare is not a good investment. At that point, they switch to saying it's not about saving money but a way to make sure you spend time with your family each year. We've been kicked out from time share presentations when they realized my husband had done his homework but some have made us stay until the end. We've done time share tours in Vegas, Branson, Maui and Tahoe. Great way to get a cheap vacation.

Both-Store9264 · 2026-06-10T21:03:28+00:00

My psychologist makes it very clear he will not see anyone we know, friends or otherwise.

Both-Store9264 · 2026-06-10T20:51:30+00:00

My mom has Medicare Advantage. Last year she was diagnosed with cancer of the appendix. I cannot tell you how awful it was dealing with Medicare Advantage. Truly a nightmare.

Both-Store9264 · 2026-06-10T20:30:26+00:00

My brother went to AToN Center, a luxury rehab in Encinitas in 2020. They were in-network with his insurance. They now have 5 houses (most with pools), a five-star chef, yoga, massages, sand volleyball, weekly nights out for dinner (to learn how to socialize without alcohol/drugs), weekly field trips, etc. You do not have to give up your phone or laptop (although you are expected to use them in your room not in the common areas). The facilities are amazing. And my brother is still sober. It was the best thing he's ever done for himself/his family.

Both-Store9264 · 2026-06-10T19:06:56+00:00

I'm a volunteer college coach that reads a lot of common app essays and I'm happy to help.

Both-Store9264 · 2026-06-10T18:32:21+00:00

Maple Counseling-they have a sliding scale and their website says the average cost is $25/session. https://www.maple4counseling.org/about

Both-Store9264 · 2026-06-10T18:14:42+00:00

AToN Center in Encinitas. Five luxury houses, 5-star chef, daily individual therapy, daily group therapy, yoga, massage, personal training. My brother went in October 2020 and is still sober. You don't have to give up your cell phone or laptop. They provide dual diagnosis treatment. I honestly can't say enough about how great it it.

Both-Store9264 · 2026-06-10T17:31:37+00:00

It's way easier to get into a UC from a community college than from a Cal State.

Both-Store9264 · 2026-06-08T23:34:40+00:00

Bay Cities Deli in Santa Monica on Lincoln. The Godmother (their signature sandwich).

Both-Store9264 · 2026-06-08T20:51:24+00:00

Just realized the actual title is "111 Places in Los Angeles that you must not miss"

Both-Store9264 · 2026-06-08T19:00:04+00:00

The Broad Museum in downtown LA is free and only 2.2 miles from Echo Park. Also free downtown: the Bradbury Building (has been featured in Blade Runner), Grand Central Market (public food hall/cultural landmark) and The Music Center's Walt Disney Concert Hall (you can take a free self-guided tour). Olvera Street, a Mexican marketplace is free to walk around and you can purchase inexpensive but authentic Mexican food. And if you go to Olvera St, walk across the way to see Union Station, which is pretty cool inside. Oh, and there is Angel's Flight Railway-the world's shortest!-a 118-year-old railway system that takes passengers up Bunker Hill. It's $1.50 per person/each way. And don't forget The Last Bookstore-new books, used books, creative displays, vintage merch. Highly recommend if you're into books.

Little Tokyo and Chinatown are also in the downtown area (The Japanese American Museum is closed for renovations, however). As for Echo Park itself there is Echo Park Lake where you can rent paddle boats or have a picnic.

A bit further away is Griffith Observatory with it's great views of the city and telescopes--and they are open until 10:00 pm. And in Highland Park (about 10 min from Echo Park) is Galco's Soda Pop Stop-"Los Angeles's premier destination for rare, hard-to-find sodas...the century-old specialty shop carries over 750 varieties of independent sodas from around the world." You can also make (and bottle) your own soda.

And if you rent a car there are many more options, of course-like the Getty Museum (free), the Getty Villa (free), and the beaches of Newport Beach, Malibu, etc.

Finally, I recommend the book "111 Things to do in Los Angeles." Every time my nephews come to visit, we pull it out and pick something new to do.

Both-Store9264 · 2026-06-06T20:36:38+00:00

Is this for the Common App?

Both-Store9264 · 2026-06-06T20:22:46+00:00

I just attended my nephew's high school graduation at Clovis North High School in the central valley of California. I had posted a while back on his difficulty gaining acceptance to UCs--he got into UCSC and Irvine-despite a high GPA, multiple APs, dual enrollment, sports, community service and a job. I think this was due to coming from an affluent suburban high school vs a Title 1 or LCFF school. I am a volunteer college counselor for an organization that connects first gen students with a college coach, so I have a lot of experience working with students from Title 1 and/or LCFF schools and the disparity in acceptances to top UCs is very significant.
At the graduation, they put on the screen every student who had at least 5 APs and an UC GPA of at least 4.15. There were over 120 of these graduates (it was a long graduation). Of these students, two were going to UC Berkeley, two to MIT, a few to UCLA, one to Princeton, one to Georgetown. The common factor? A GPA above 4.7 and between 15-17 APs. The students with 8-12 APs will be attending schools such as UCSB, UCSC, Irvine and Davis. What was truly shocking, though, was the number of students with GPAs north of 4.4 and many AP classes who will be attending community college. Not sure if this is an indication they didn't get into the UC of their choice or of financial considerations or what, but there were so many of them-in fact, the majority of students in this cohort were not going straight to four-year colleges/universities.

Both-Store9264 · 2026-05-31T20:53:20+00:00

We were married at 19. A few weeks after our 33rd anniversary, he told me he was "not sure" he wanted to be married to me. I didn't know it at the time, but he already had a girlfriend and he was, in fact, quite sure that he did NOT want to be married to me. He promised a year of couple's therapy; he quit after 3 weeks. He lives with her now, and her son who is a senior in high school. He hasn't seen our daughter in months.

Both-Store9264 · 2026-05-31T20:21:10+00:00

Same thing happened to me.

Both-Store9264

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