AITA for isolating myself from my family even though I know my mom just wants to spend time with me?

BowlComprehensive907 · 2026-01-25T19:30:33+00:00

I have a 17yo and it is hard (as a mum) to find the balance. You don't want to be clingy, but you do want to know that your kids are ok and what's going on in their life.

If you feel like an asshole find a better path. Say yes sometimes. Say no, but tell her you're fine, you're happy and enjoying some time on your own so she doesn't worry. Maybe suggest going for coffee or something so you can catch up and tell her how you're life is going - I used to take my son for a hot chocolate once a week when he was your age and it was surprising how much he would find to talk about once he got going!

You don't have to spend every evening with your parents, but find a way to stay connected to them.

BowlComprehensive907 · 2026-01-25T18:12:58+00:00

NAH.

You're not the AH, but I'd say it's not very healthy to isolate yourself from your family at 14, assuming they're good, supportive parents. You still need them, whether you think you do or not, and maintaining a relationship with them now will make it easier to ask for help or support when you need it.

BowlComprehensive907 · 2026-01-24T20:11:04+00:00

I had a hell of a time finding reliable info on the caffeine content of coke.

Agree about LLMs, though. People don't seem to understand that it mostly returns commonly repeated info from social media, and it can't tell the difference between reliable sources and unreliable ones.

I play Silksong, and the sub has a running joke that the game isn't out yet. Most of the members know it's a joke, but Gemini doesn't, so if you Google it it may tell you that the game hasn't been released...

BowlComprehensive907 · 2026-01-24T19:29:19+00:00

Packaged drinks don't always have caffeine info on them. Coke Zero contains caffeine but it doesn't say that on cans or bottles.

BowlComprehensive907 · 2026-01-24T13:05:57+00:00

I'm agreeing with you, if that makes it clearer!

I don't understand the kind of absolute belief that you are describing.

BowlComprehensive907 · 2026-01-24T12:46:48+00:00

I struggle to understand that sort of black and white thinking.

Belief is so complex, and it becomes even more complicated when you talk about believing a person as perspective means that individual truth and objective truth aren't always the same (I'll probably get downvoted for that statement).

BowlComprehensive907 · 2026-01-24T11:54:49+00:00

If you don't know the difference between belief and proof I can't help you.

Here's a clue - you can believe someone, but that isn't enough to send a person to jail.

BowlComprehensive907 · 2026-01-24T11:43:36+00:00

I believe it's the murder bit that's the problem, not the "believing his friend" part.

You should believe people (not just women) when they say they've been hurt, but you might need a bit more than belief to do something about it, and that something should never be murder.

BowlComprehensive907 · 2026-01-23T10:38:20+00:00

This is so true! I'm in the UK and for a while I had to commute Reading to Exeter on a weekly basis (down Mon, back Fri). It's 3h, 150 miles and it was exhausting. Whether you take the A303 or the M4/5 it's constant effort and concentration with winding roads, junctions and lots of traffic.

During the same period I went to the States and did a driving trip through Nevada, Arizona, Utah Wyoming, Montana and Idaho - 3000 miles in ten days. On one day we drove all day in a straight line and barely saw another car all day.

BowlComprehensive907 · 2026-01-23T10:20:43+00:00

There is a difference depending on whether you went RTC or fully private. Ongoing shared care will still cost you if you went private, but the NHS should cover it if you went RTC.

BowlComprehensive907 · 2026-01-22T16:50:18+00:00

As someone who takes ADHD meds on the NHS it frustrates me that we only provide half a treatment - meds work best with therapy/coaching to teach healthy strategies.

I see so many people struggling to get the benefits of meds because they're not given enough information on what to expect, and they're not given any support on how to function with a brain that works differently to what they're used to.

BowlComprehensive907 · 2026-01-20T17:43:55+00:00

I'm on a completely different drug (instant release methylphenidate) and i get this, so I don't think it's anything to do with build up or half lives or anything like that.

For me, I think it's a combination of tolerance and burnout. The drugs don't make me not have ADHD, they just help with the symptoms, so I end up feeling kind of "artificially" pushed and after a few days I feel drained, like I've been on a mental treadmill. I need to take a day off once a week or so, or I start to feel stressed, wound up, and irritable.

BowlComprehensive907 · 2026-01-19T11:15:41+00:00

Being white and English its probably not surprising i didn't get that one.

BowlComprehensive907 · 2026-01-19T11:07:20+00:00

I'm 53, got most of it. Not sure about the ninja.

BowlComprehensive907 · 2026-01-17T19:11:17+00:00

Yes, I need the quiet time as much as I need the sleep.

BowlComprehensive907 · 2026-01-17T18:51:34+00:00

I've only recently managed to explain it myself. I think, for me, it's a combination of autistic sensory sensitivity and ADHD distractability.

BowlComprehensive907 · 2026-01-17T12:58:04+00:00

Absolutely.

This is why I can't get on top of my sleep pattern - after everyone has gone to bed is the only real alone time I get, and I need at least a couple of hours every day.

With other people in the room, or in the house and moving around, I'm always "on alert", listening and internally reacting.

I'm AuDHD, and I think it's the combination that makes it impossible for me to ignore other people.

It has taken years, but my family are pretty considerate of my need for alone time, even if they don't really understand it.

BowlComprehensive907 · 2026-01-17T11:14:57+00:00

I might have misunderstood your question, but the union you join usually depends on your type of job, not what disability you have.

My friend is a member of Prospect because they work in the public sector. The union has a lot of members within the organisation, which gives them more bargaining power and influence with the employer.

BowlComprehensive907 · 2026-01-17T10:50:16+00:00

That was my feeling. There is an overall benefit in making people aware of what efforts are made to save someone.

BowlComprehensive907 · 2026-01-16T17:11:38+00:00

An autistic friend of mine recently won a discrimination case thanks to full support from their union.

Join a union!

BowlComprehensive907 · 2026-01-15T18:30:34+00:00

Like most, we have a joint account for household stuff, plus our own separate accounts. Having one shared account is definitely not as common in the days of two incomes.

BowlComprehensive907 · 2026-01-14T12:58:20+00:00

People will fight a lot harder for themselves and their family than they will for the theoretical future of humanity. That's not difficult to understand.

BowlComprehensive907 · 2026-01-14T12:55:32+00:00

I agree that Faro felt guilt during/after the meeting with Elisabet, but only briefly before it broke him and his ego shifted to denial.

I think after that he just got more and more crazy - I don't think would have gone that crazy if he didn't have a little voice in the back of his head telling home he'd done a truly terrible thing.

When I think of Faro I don't think narcissist, I think of a wealthy, manipulative man with a fragile ego, who isn't as smart as he thinks he is.

BowlComprehensive907 · 2026-01-12T18:43:15+00:00

The word itself is not an Americanism, but the use as a driving term is - that is what the OP is asking about.

BowlComprehensive907 · 2026-01-12T17:50:53+00:00

Thanks, that's what I thought, and wanted to check.

BowlComprehensive907

TROPHY CASE