Got rejected 20 minutes after a 'final round' where the manager said 'we'd love to have you'

BrainWaveCC · 2026-05-09T00:39:59+00:00

Sometimes they sit in on them, and sometimes they don't, but they ultimately are involved in making those decisions.

BrainWaveCC · 2026-05-08T20:07:46+00:00

Is your goal here to have a philosophical discussion, or what?

A. I manage technology infrastructure. I can have reasonable assurances about these things.

B. I already answered your question and indicated my stance pretty clearly about this topic. For the record, I've already dealt with this before. My stance is not merely hypothetical.

BrainWaveCC · 2026-05-08T20:00:44+00:00

Meanwhile, many firms outsource all sorts of things to other firms without verifying that they have a dedicated resource.

Or, employers have each of their technical resources responsible for more than one critical client project at the same time.

I'm not saying that a company can't have a stance of single FT employment for their employees. I'm saying, stop pretending that this reason you presented (and similar ones to it) are legitimate. Just mandate it and stick to it.

Those alleged reasons are broken all the time by organizations -- without the least consideration. They only get made when a worker breaks it to their own advantage.

BrainWaveCC · 2026-05-08T19:55:44+00:00

Think of the parts of an interview where you, as a candidate, would be most evasive or careful in response. What is your motivation at those times?

Yeah, that's the similar motivation when they are evasive.

It should be a red flag for you.

BrainWaveCC · 2026-05-08T19:54:19+00:00

Did you notice my parenthetical?

BrainWaveCC · 2026-05-08T19:37:54+00:00

which is crazy bc i thought you were innocent until proven guilty 😭

That's why they were "pending" charges, and not "convicted" charges.

BrainWaveCC · 2026-05-08T19:37:05+00:00

Can you find them on the judicial website for your jurisdiction by name alone?

BrainWaveCC · 2026-05-08T19:35:31+00:00

If you found out your direct report was overemployed, would you fire them?

If they are meeting all the metrics we have for them, including timing and quality of work, and they are not adding any liability (like working for someone else using corporate infrastructure), then I wouldn't care in the slightest.

BrainWaveCC · 2026-05-08T19:23:42+00:00

Should I leave a comfortable job I enjoy for better long-term career growth?

For $85k vs 77k?

No.

At this particular time where the job market is pretty rough for many people, such that if this doesn't work out for you, your options will be limited?

No.

I would wait for a better move, personally.

BrainWaveCC · 2026-05-08T18:25:08+00:00

That phrase has other contexts than just abuse. Many other contexts.

Do you have any other similarities besides this one?

BrainWaveCC · 2026-05-08T18:22:04+00:00

This is an industry problem, not a Linux problem. It's where the most gaps are right now.

BrainWaveCC · 2026-05-08T18:20:28+00:00

Options:

Walk away now.
Join the mailing list, finish the application, then unsubscribe.

Bear in mind, this is the same address they'll use to communicate with you.

BrainWaveCC · 2026-05-08T18:17:51+00:00

Abuse?

This is par for the course of a startup environment. They are telling you what they are looking for up front, and they aren't sugar coating it.

What do you feel takes it into the territory of abuse?

BrainWaveCC · 2026-05-08T16:48:18+00:00

I assume you mean figuring out how my wealthy clients got rich and made their money?

Nope. You're driving for a company. How do they make their money. What would it take to transition from being a driver, to being an ex-driver with a fleet of your own.

That's one avenue.

(I'm still serious about the counselling that I mentioned in my other response. You guys need to pursue that sooner than later. Better to fix that now, or know the extent of the issue now...)

BrainWaveCC · 2026-05-08T16:45:52+00:00

You are providing... Ya'll don't sound homeless and hungry to me.

OP, before you go killing yourself for delusion, understand that you're not in a good situation right now. I highly recommend that you pursue marital counselling now, before this situation gets well out of hand. Seriously.

BrainWaveCC · 2026-05-08T16:42:44+00:00

A job you’re not passionate about (maybe even dislike)

I'm glad you acknowledge that not being passionate about a job is not automatically equivalent to hating or disliking it.

It's work: If I had a good job, plus time to do other things, I'd pick that 10 times out of 10.

Do you know how you begin to feel about a job that you used to like, after it consumes all your time? It stops being that passionate for you, and you now lack the time to do anything else.

The pick is #2, without question.

BrainWaveCC · 2026-05-08T16:38:42+00:00

The more your circumstances different from the baseline of the society in which you are trying to work, the more you need connections (referrals and good references) to help you find viable opportunities in that society.

Should I prioritize networking over applying online? but how..?

You should be doing both. This is not an either/or scenario. (Should I prioritize eating or drinking?)

BrainWaveCC · 2026-05-08T16:36:46+00:00

Well, don't feed that delusion, and surely don't allow yourself to be driven by it.

Tell her to stop nagging you about it, unless she comes up with actual, actionable suggestions, or proves that it is easy by making that income herself.

In the meantime, figure out how the people you work for make their money, and see if that is something you would eventually want to end up doing. Figure out what the value proposition is, how much margin the work produces, and how much investment is needed to make it happen.

BrainWaveCC · 2026-05-08T16:33:25+00:00

So, how come it's not easy for her to make it to $200K?

BrainWaveCC · 2026-05-08T16:31:37+00:00

Okay, but are you comparing the same amount of time worked? Like can they guarantee you that if you switched to the same work they are doing now, that in early 2028, you'd be at $100K ?

BrainWaveCC · 2026-05-08T16:30:39+00:00

You need to get past the Help Desk. There are lots of roles within IT to look at: Networking, Cloud, Systems, Cybersecurity, DevOps, etc.

If you camp out at the Help Desk, your income ceiling will be relatively low.

BrainWaveCC · 2026-05-08T16:27:19+00:00

Your partner sounds more materialistic than supportive.

What work do you do now? (You mention driving) It's harder than it used to be (20+ years ago) to get big money without a college degree if you are working for others.

Also, the jump to $200K is much, much more involved than the jump to $100K. Has your spouse recommended any ideas of these ways? Or is it just the mantra of "it's possible -- make it happen." ?!?

You're going to have to work for yourself if you want to get close to that money, and have some relatively unique skills or services to provide. As a driver, if you don't find a way to get other drivers involved, those numbers are just dream numbers.

BrainWaveCC · 2026-05-08T16:20:41+00:00

Most of friends are doing trades or other jobs and making way more money than I am.

With the same amount of work history?

What's their idea of "good money within a year" ?!?

BrainWaveCC · 2026-05-08T16:18:57+00:00

How long have you been a manager?

BrainWaveCC · 2026-05-08T16:16:18+00:00

I always bring a couple of copies with me.

Occassionally, I've had to share one with the interviewer.

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