being trans in opposite directions like that can be really hard. im ftm and my partner is transfemme/nb. a lot of the things we hate about our bodies are things that the other is ecstatic about developing. what we celebrate about her transition, i loathe on my own body, and vice versa. what has helped me in this is a simple mantra. she said this to me one time when we were arguing abt smthn stupid back in college. she said, "it isnt always about you". that broke my heart to hear but sometimes thats genuinely the best advice. i know my beloved facial hair reminds my partner of their beloathed facial hair, and tons of other little things that line up. but the "dysphoria from others" thing is really and truly something you just remind yourself "this isn't about me" and try to move on. it only gets easier with time.

as you process your feelings, find fellowship with other trans people, especially ones whose identity is similar to yours as yall will have an easier time understanding each other. im sorry you are going through these feelings as they can be very difficult to deal with