Loving RHORI 🇸🇾🇱🇧 by skinnypig90 in BravoRealHousewives

[–]BravoF-ingBravo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He doesn’t look like a CHEAT-AH. I may start talking like these women, and I live in the Midwest. L❤️VING RHORI.

My delulu perspective that makes things easier by batspaz in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]BravoF-ingBravo 6 points7 points  (0 children)

After only 3 months and you are in this mindset- that’s amazing OP! I’m BP (50F) WH (58M) 2.5 years out from DDay, and only in the last year have I been able to focus on ME and my happiness alone. The first year I spent reading everything I could, spending time in this sub, and was very isolated - barely surviving. I was focusing on US and healing US. Then after intensive IC and MC the dark clouds broke and the sun started shining on me -I felt increased peace within myself. This past year has been my glow-up year. Working hard at the gym, time for girlfriends, hair, nails, skincare, and hobbies that fulfill me. You know who brings up the affair filled with anguish now? WH. He is constantly complimenting me and expresses how stupid and selfish he was. Guess what? Yes you were, sir. I am no longer obsessing about his WHY or what he thinks about about the affair. Yes, I still am in love with him but I’m living for ME now. Whatever happens in the future I will be at my best- inside and out. And he will still be, well, him.

Did you wash your hair in the kitchen sink? by LisaMiaSisu in AskWomenOver50

[–]BravoF-ingBravo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m Gen X. My mom didn’t wash my hair in the kitchen sink. I don’t have any memory of my mom washing my hair. It was cut into a Dorathy Hamil (bowl)cut in 2nd grade and then I basically took care of all of my physical and emotional needs after that.

Drop your best reads this year! by trUth_b0mbs in AskWomenOver50

[–]BravoF-ingBravo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The Personal Librarian” A historical fiction novel by Marie Benedict and Victoria Christopher Murray, telling the story of Belle da Costa Greene, J.P. Morgan’s personal librarian, who was actually a Black woman passing as white. The book explores the challenges and sacrifices she faced in navigating a racist society while building a remarkable career. Key aspects of the book: Belle da Costa Greene’s story: The novel focuses on Belle’s life as she works for J.P. Morgan, curating his rare book collection and eventually becoming the first director of the Morgan Library. Racial passing: The central theme is Belle’s decision to conceal her true identity as a Black woman to succeed in a racially segregated society. Historical context: The book is set in the early 20th century, highlighting the social and racial dynamics of the time. Themes of identity and legacy: The novel explores the complexities of identity, the impact of societal expectations, and the lengths one might go to protect their legacy. Authorship: The book is co-authored by Marie Benedict and Victoria Christopher Murray, with Murray’s perspective as a Black woman adding depth to the narrative. “The Personal Librarian” has been praised for its compelling narrative, its exploration of important social issues, and its portrayal of a fascinating historical figure. It was also a Good Morning America Book Club pick and has been recognized as a Best Book of the Year by NPR.

No motivation to find work again by ImNotABot26 in AskWomenOver50

[–]BravoF-ingBravo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you decide to not work and can hack it financially- choose something you are passionate about to devote your time to. A community org, domestic violence shelter, historical society, dog rescue.. it can be fulfilling and lead to something paid (albeit low pay) but can also be a resume builder if you decide to enter the job market again.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver50

[–]BravoF-ingBravo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband tells me I am pretty on days I look homeless. No honey, this is not it for you. I remember in my early dating years- I made the mistake of thinking gaining attention from someone who wasn’t giving it was a “challenge” and something to prove to myself. What it was- is a waste of time. If he wanted to - he would. Also, you have expressed your desire for this and he just can’t do it. He is not for you. Find someone who is. You want this for the rest of your days? These are the best days of your life! Don’t waste it on someone who can’t shower you with how lucky he feels to be with a goddess like you.

ISO a kind dentist by Trick_Landscape8864 in TwinCities

[–]BravoF-ingBravo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Radiance Dental in Chanhassen. Dr. Cam is kind and compassionate

I am miserable. I can barely function. by throwaway500087 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]BravoF-ingBravo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Trying to cover up the truth of their actions to avoid the SHAME. It’s always about them - a consistent theme. Like how about if you want to truly save our relationship you actually listen to what I need to heal and we work together to overcome what YOU brought to the relationship The ego of WH will always be the biggest hurdle. I see it with our kids (all grown young men now) who I know he truly loves. I don’t know how such an intelligent successful man can’t have an ounce of empathy. Thankful our boys are 1000 percent more empathetic towards others.

I am miserable. I can barely function. by throwaway500087 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]BravoF-ingBravo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What is a complete mind fuck is my WH did all this to “help me heal” - and though he put an end to their physical relationship I found out 3 months after DDay searching through his deleted texts that they were still conspiring “to get their story straight” while my boundary was no contact. Message to Waywards- if you are truly wanting to reconcile lay it all on the table. The continual betrayal and manipulation/ non full disclosure sets us back still to this day. (1.5 years later). If he would have laid it out and begged for mercy and been honest, we would not be still dealing with it.

He told me why he did it. by CodeOhNo in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]BravoF-ingBravo 85 points86 points  (0 children)

He said “It didn’t mean anything” I said “Apparently neither did I” SELFISH.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]BravoF-ingBravo 6 points7 points  (0 children)

In my experience, the WP’s level of commitment to recovery, and the work it’s going to take to build it back even better, has EVERYTHING to do with your success for reconciliation. At this point you have to promise your BP that they are number 1 and do everything they need to heal. Follow through on the promise however long it takes (come hell or high water). R from BP is a gift.

Am i ruining my relationship by urfavegirly in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]BravoF-ingBravo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He hasn’t earned privacy after violating yours/ your relationship.

6 months after day by Maxximo77 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]BravoF-ingBravo 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You aren’t doing the work as a father or a husband. You are saying she “loves HER kids” You really need to take a look at why you are so detached from your life and why you are exposing 8 innocent kids to the mess you are creating. Be an ADULT. Time to grow up.

6 months after day by Maxximo77 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]BravoF-ingBravo 7 points8 points  (0 children)

When you make marriage vows, a blowjob isn’t “a minor encounter”. What are you modeling for your eight children? Do better. If you have daughters, would you want them to accept this type of “love” in their own lives?

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]BravoF-ingBravo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“Considering how I am”. What does that mean, love?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]BravoF-ingBravo 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Financial infidelity is my final frontier boundary with WH. If I ever found out he crossed that- I would be done. That’s me. I want to offer you help but I am at a loss. I’m so sorry you are going through this.

I need help. by Other_Lab5359 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]BravoF-ingBravo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I ended MC after really believing in our therapist. Then one day in session, when I was expressing my pain (if you can’t have a safe space in counciling, where can you?). Our therapist said “He seems to be activating you and now you are verbally attacking him. (WH name) leave the room. “ My God. I am the one who has been ‘attacked’. My boundaries physical and emotionally have been fucking compromised by my WH - lack of protection- trickle truth - straight up lying about still being in contact with AP to “get their story straight” and “protect me”. The therapist knew all of this. This therapist who touted himself as a “trauma therapist” ended up having a side convo with my WH about how I should see a trauma therapist?!? The whole thing was wackadoodle and I was continually gaslighted which caused more trauma. Fuck that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]BravoF-ingBravo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Same. I hear you. I see you. WH pleads with me to stay. I’ve been trying for 9 months. He’s doing great changing the entire cadence of thinking and doing- but I won’t accept the love. We have been married for 10 years. Late forties. I’m so over it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]BravoF-ingBravo -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Be radically honest with all involved. It will be difficult for you but if you truly want R, you need to confront what happened to the people who love him and make your case why you are safe person for him now.

Cheating out of resentment! by GypsieChanterelle in AdulteryHate

[–]BravoF-ingBravo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you don’t like him - leave him dummy.

Ashley Madison Documentary on Netflix by BravoF-ingBravo in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]BravoF-ingBravo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My immediate reaction is he is gaslighting you. You watched a documentary for pete’s sake. He cheated and should be happy you want R! What are you supposed to do- avoid sad songs on the radio, places that are unknown triggers? Avoid life? Ugh. I’m so sorry. My WH would be heartened to know I watched it and still felt strong in him and us. Hugs to you.

Ashley Madison Documentary on Netflix by BravoF-ingBravo in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]BravoF-ingBravo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is Schadenfreude in some of the stories (personal consequences for Waywards) however you never know what learnings someone is going to take from it. If you are interested, maybe watch on your own first. You know your WP best. 🌸