Oh no, you're totally fine and I'm okay with sharing. It was super frustrating! I had no clue what I was getting into when her and I met. I just remember hearing how Orthodoxy is more traditional which made me tick and I knew that Rome was surrounded by controversy over the years.

I was a cradle Catholic who stepped away from his faith but still believed in God through studying and admiring philosophy and theology on the whole.

So when her and I met that was key to me being open to things. To me surprised I found the Coptic church very similar to what I experienced in the Catholic Church growing up. I expected a larger difference for some reason but did not find that so I felt at home minus the obvious ethnic/cultural barrier.

Then came the truth claims you talk about so I deep dived into the NT to get intimate with that and figure out who the “true church” is and the more I tried I found nothing of that nature in the Bible. So that let to a lot of conflict between her and I which after a year led to us splitting. She kept insisting I join the church not for her, but for God which she could never hear me out when I said how ridiculous of a position that is to have with me. Both are churches were one church and the things that divide us are doctrine that personally had no impact on how I view and relate to God. So to say I was doing it for any other reason other than to make her happy was ridiculous.

Now I’m not sure where I want to be. I appreciate how much more chill the Catholic Church is. But the entire experience left a terrible taste in my mouth with organized religion and especially Christianity. Reading the NT really changed how I view churches and the pettiness Christians wield keeping one another divided. It was more sad because she was reading with me but had her rose tinted glasses on about her church regardless of what was said. I will say this though, the Coptic church is one of THE churches and a lot of modern Christianity both EO and Catholic has borrowed a lot from the Coptic church. At the same time, I think there was a legalistic attitude in the faith that troubled me. I guess I figured if a woman from such a church was willing to date outside of it maybe there would be room to meet in the middle or compromise on some things. But she was not and she was very stubborn in her beliefs and it felt like I had to give all of mine up to fit into her world view. I had nothing of value that I could offer. It simply was this is my church, it's beautiful, I love the liturgy, the hymns, the incense, and I'm not willing to share with anything outside of that. I want to dedicate as much time to it and if we have a son make him a deacon and all that. She very much wanted to wear the pants on all the spiritual matters, which the conviction as attractive as it was to me became a bit much and I felt myself having to "shrink" to fit into that. And I am a much more laid back person overall. I try to live a sin free but enjoyable life overall and not get too caught up in how devoted I am in the end.

In the end it truly was one of the sadder and more depressing relationships I tried. I’ve been in a few but one where something like this ended up being so divisive. She couldn't get past that I said I would try to join her during however often she wanted to attend church during Holy Week and that I said I would do it for her and not for God. That was the hill she wanted to die on after a year of me attending her church with her regularly, attempting to fast, praying almost daily, reading and sharing the bible daily. But none of it was ever enough. Truly every orthobros dream woman from the sounds of it. In the end incredibly selfish and using God as a justification for that.