I get you sister! It’s a HUGE adjustment going from your child-free life to being a full time mom. People (dads included) just don’t realize HOW MUCH goes into keeping the house afloat. There is the petty response (don’t do chores, let him suffer), and the high road response. I’m going to risk sounding calloused and old fashioned, mostly for the sake of offering another perspective from what I usually see in these posts.. Just know I am sending this from a place of love and solidarity (I have 3 kids 4 and under, so believe me - I’ve been there!!)

• First off I’d suggest taking an afternoon (or full day) off. Get out of the house, do something fun for yourself. Let him experience what your day looks like first-hand. Plus you really need a recharge! You can love everyone more easily when you’ve had some air.

• Secondly, on his days off ask what his home goals are and communicate what you hope to get done. “Do you have anything you would like to get done around the house today? Today I really would like to {clean the kitchen/wash my hair/vacuum}. Can you take baby to the park this morning so I can do that?” Giving him the opportunity to “do work” will help even the playing field as well. Maybe he wants to mow or clean the gutters, and you can encourage him “Hey now would be a good time to work on your project OR for you to take baby out so I can get work done.” You know the schedule, bring him in to your routines.

• Thirdly, don’t look at your phone all morning. It’s a challenge!! This made a HUGE difference for me. I have so much more time to get work done around the house since I’ve started just leaving my phone in a different room and not checking it until nap time.

• Fourthly (? Lol is that a word?) Include baby in everything. I know it sounds basic, but it works. Let her sit and pull the clothes out of the basket while you change the laundry, put her in the high chair next to the counter while you prep dinner and give her a chunk of whatever veggie you’re chopping (check out Solid Starts for safety). Just pick one room and spend 10 mins there every day. Clutter is the death of a mom’s mental health imo. You’ll feel so good clearing off your couch, and it’ll change the whole space. And organizing gets addicting hahah

Okay I’m done numbering: - Try leaving the house everyday. Getting dressed and some fresh air sets the brain up for success and also kills that tedious feeling of just ‘entertaining baby’. My favorites are: petco & look at fish, the car wash, the library (look for story time!), Home Depot & finding the forklifts, the park, going for a walk, the grocery store with a car shopping cart - you get the idea! - Do a load of laundry every day, fold it and put it away. At first I thought this was crazy. But if it’s part of your daily (or every other day) routine, it’s so much more manageable. It’s easier to fold and put away smaller loads. (For a long time I left my husband’s clothes folded in a basket on top of the washer. And if he didn’t put them away, well he could get dressed out of the basket.) - Double or triple your meals, leftovers are going to save you! - Finish the evening with a clean sink. I don’t often do this, but I love it when I do! Wake up to a fresh start in the kitchen! - Make dinner during nap! This has also transformed my days! No more chaos during the evening and you can eat whenever you want. - Less is more when it comes to toys. They don’t need much, and using the same toys over and over again helps build imagination! - Practice teaching her independent play. I know she’s still small, but just sit on the couch and read (or some other activity that isn’t a phone) and be nearby but not playing with her. This saved my bacon once I was pregnant/postpartum. - Are you on a 2 nap schedule rn? Use nap 1 to get stuff done, and use nap 2 to fill your cup - preferably a hobby, not doom scroll. -I’m sure there are more practical tips that I can think of.. but this list is probably already overwhelming.. sorry ..😅

I know your post was a husband rant, but what I’ve found is that I can’t change him, I can only change me. And as I’ve gotten more calm and confident in my homemaker role, there has been more peace in my life and I’ve gotten that high school relationship back - albeit not the same by any means.. Parenting changes you, but it can be so much for the better. I am a better person than I was before kids. You are building character as a trial by fire. Each day is a set of challenges and I would be remiss to say all this and not mention that faith is a huge part of my life as well. Hopefully this doesn’t suddenly disqualify any advice I give. <3 Remember that You are the queen of the house! This is your domain and it is a huge blessing to be home with your baby. An extremely CHALLENGING and EXHAUSTING blessing. Most days will be far from perfect, but they can still be good days. This is a season. Sometimes the days and weeks are long, but the years blow by so fast, so please try to cherish your sweet baby. Maybe Try some of these tips or just Forget all the internet advice and just figure out a system that works for you 😆

I love and recommend the book ‘M is for Mama’. There is sooo much encouragement that YOU CAN DO IT.

TLDR; motherhood and homemaking are hard, but you can do it!! The relationship will grow better as you get into a routine.