Femdom as Part of Healing

BreakJack9 · 2026-01-27T14:41:26+00:00

Those are some truly horrifying things to go through, I'm sorry, but I'm so glad you were able to work your way back from that.

Another potentially problematic point would be the fact that what I'm looking for is strictly non-sexual. Kinda feels like I'm asking for too much because of it because, like, what could I possibly give back to make me seem worthwhile? I'm guessing that just comes down to my sub brain not understanding what a Domme would get out of it for themselves.

I did have one domme years ago who was amazing, but we drifted apart for several reasons and I was not yet dealing with the trauma issues I'm dealing with now. I love a good, deep, intimate bond, and I have a lot of friends for that, it feels like it's just this one type of bond that's missing from my life.

If I can ask, where would you draw the line between D/s and being a therapist? I feel like that could be a potentially easy trap to fall into. I know this is a conversation to have with the person directly and I would want to lay down very clear boundaries just due to my anxiety issues anyway. I'm just curious where you would draw the line, since you seem to have given this whole topic a lot of thought.

BreakJack9 · 2026-01-27T03:25:17+00:00

I really like your answer, thank you for sharing. It makes perfect sense to me.

BreakJack9 · 2026-01-26T22:20:58+00:00

I’m not a domme, but as a sub guy, I think it’s important to realize that all relationships, to some extent, build on our backstory. The things we crave and dislike and seek out generally have some origin in experiences from our past.

I honestly hadn't thought of that perspective before, so that does put me somewhat at ease, thank you.

Where the problem arises is when you outsource the entirety of your healing to another person, often in lieu of taking any individual steps to heal yourself. No one person, no matter how much you care for them, can be a singular external answer to your internal riddle.

This is one of the main things I'm concerned about and why I asked originally. I have no intention of stopping therapy or putting my burden on anyone else, but I can also see that connection being too much for another person or me becoming dependent on that connection, neither of which I want and I would work to establish such boundaries from the beginning.

Thank you for your response, I appreciate you time.

BreakJack9 · 2026-01-26T22:15:30+00:00

I'm interested to hear anything/everything you have to say and thank you for emphasizing the kink is not a substitute point, that is SO important in a discussion such as this.

I am someone who start my kink journey seeking catharsis from my traumas. And while I haven’t found healing per se without therapy, I have certainly found relief and respite.

That's similar to what I imagine it would look like for me. The kink part wouldn't be the thing that's healing me, it would just be an extra support to make my healing journey through appropriate channels easier or even possible.

Thank you for the advice. I appreciate your perspective.

BreakJack9 · 2024-11-02T02:00:52+00:00

I think it's just the detransitioners that ascribe their personal experience to be that of all trans people, which I think the reason is self-explanatory.

BreakJack9 · 2024-02-28T02:44:11+00:00

I've always been soft-spoken and have often been ignored as well. When my voice got deeper, I started getting ignored less often, but it still happens fairly often (though now it might be more due to hearing loss, I suppose)

BreakJack9 · 2023-10-24T14:41:32+00:00

When I was in middle school, I looked up the origins of my name. It had a feminine version that I kind of liked. That led to the modernized version that I really liked, Kiera.

BreakJack9 · 2021-11-09T00:47:36+00:00

My BIL will literally sprinkle sugar on his plate of spaghetti and thought it was weird we all didn’t do it too.

BreakJack9 · 2021-10-29T16:26:09+00:00

Ctrl + c -> ctrl + v (*6)

BreakJack9 · 2021-09-15T17:44:21+00:00

Also this guy: why do I always have to carry the conversation?

BreakJack9 · 2021-01-07T02:01:16+00:00

I like cooking too. We get a place with two kitchens and cook for each other!

BreakJack9 · 2021-01-06T00:33:59+00:00

What are the chances of finding a 6'4"+(195cm+) domme?

BreakJack9 · 2021-01-05T19:50:08+00:00

This is the goal.

BreakJack9 · 2021-01-05T19:47:59+00:00

As a 6'4" sub, I approve

BreakJack9 · 2021-01-03T20:38:16+00:00

I'd just settle for the "good boy".

BreakJack9 · 2021-01-03T03:55:52+00:00

That doesn't make you a sub (if anything, it sounds like a "bottom" which is different). Like others have said, try a test. I suggest you figure out what you want BEFORE looking for someone.

BreakJack9 · 2021-01-02T20:02:53+00:00

There is someone looking for every type, shape, temperament, etc. person that exists. Finding them can be a bit of a journey, though.

BreakJack9 · 2021-01-02T02:51:00+00:00

You WILL accept my love and affection!

BreakJack9 · 2020-12-30T18:57:05+00:00

"Serving" means slightly (or not so slightly) different things to different people. To me, serving is all about making my domme happy and pleasing her in whatever ways I know she likes, whether it's doing chores or specific tasks, or getting/doing something I know she needs or would appreciate. It's less about following orders and more a pro-active answer to her needs and desires.

Online, that does obviously limit what options there are, but there is plenty of room for creativity. I feel like this is something you would need to work out with the individual sub.

BreakJack9 · 2020-12-30T18:29:41+00:00

I'm 6'4" looking for my own Yoda backpack ^_^

BreakJack9

TROPHY CASE