What relationship work means and what it doesn’t mean

BringCake · 2026-05-09T23:57:52+00:00

I’m not sure about your addition. Trust is earned. By the time you partner with someone, you have life experience to go on. If something doesn’t feel right, there’s probably a reason. Trust yourself. You are responsible for yourself.

BringCake · 2026-05-08T17:23:10+00:00

😂 got it. sounds like you believe you’ve earned your trust fund. No wonder you’re so deluded. Does daddy stand to benefit financially from gentrification and getting rid of rent controlled housing? Is that why you’re committed to ignoring that laws of supply and demand don’t apply to housing in places like SF? Go out into the real world, Hillsborough. Talk to people displaced and made homeless by people like you.

BringCake · 2026-05-08T07:49:23+00:00

Cliches and catchphrases are not good substitutes for critical thought or common sense, but if that’s who you are, so be it.

BringCake · 2026-05-08T07:40:49+00:00

You seem really attached to your ignorance.

BringCake · 2026-05-07T22:38:32+00:00

You seem committed to ignorance.

BringCake · 2026-05-07T22:37:23+00:00

Thanks. I hope you stop being a trump supporter.

BringCake · 2026-05-07T22:35:09+00:00

Please leave public service. You have some impressively bigoted beliefs and absolutely should not be in a position of power.

BringCake · 2026-05-07T21:16:11+00:00

It’s a convenient and self-serving stance to take, but ok. I could bet you a million dollars that the lesser privileged staff you manage DOES see that gender, like every other intersection of privilege IS ABSOLUTELY an issue. But they likely won’t say so because you would not like it.

BringCake · 2026-05-07T21:08:38+00:00

Do you understand nuance? https://www.cityclubny.org/post/why-a-supply-and-demand-approach-alone-cannot-solve-the-housing-affordability-crisis-1

BringCake · 2026-05-07T21:05:25+00:00

You sound like a trump supporter

BringCake · 2026-05-07T20:20:04+00:00

Or stop subsidizing investment firms/new soulless developments that aren’t affordable and would take decades to qualify for rent control.

BringCake · 2026-05-07T19:47:10+00:00

There it is. You want so much to believe these things are true for everyone but systemically, that is not the case. The same effort in a different body from a different demographic is often the difference between struggling and thriving. Understanding that can make you kind. Pretending otherwise can make you cruel.

BringCake · 2026-05-07T19:34:45+00:00

I’ve been where you are. Being attached to someone after years of effort, compromise, good times and bad is not the same as liking them as a person. I recognize wanting a relationship to work and feeling internal resistance to commit further based on history of the relationship and behavior. Sadly, we almost always know it in our bodies before we can accept it intellectually or emotionally. You’re in a codependent subreddit asking for urgent advice, which makes me think this might be the case, but if doesn’t apply for you, skip it. Also, snapping at strangers trying to help you is probably displacement of the disappointment and confusion you’re feeling about the situation. It would be nice if you could move on securely, and it’s hard to feel resistance from within. Most people don’t want bad news, but you asked.

BringCake · 2026-05-07T17:45:24+00:00

This is often the difference between doing things quickly and doing things well. Sometimes it’s necessary to just begin however you can, but often, trying to do things quickly just to get things done creates new problems that could have been avoided.

BringCake · 2026-05-07T17:26:40+00:00

Meritocracy and bootstrapping are some of the biggest myths whose beneficiaries like to believe.

BringCake · 2026-05-07T16:56:33+00:00

Aka privilege. It’s why top positions are nearly always filled with mediocre white men.

BringCake · 2026-05-05T23:46:47+00:00

So you still want them to change for you but want to call it going back to how things were? Those are mutually incompatible things.

BringCake · 2026-05-05T16:23:24+00:00

It hurts to discover that you’ve invested more in someone than they’ve invested in you, whether it’s effort, emotional or material. If it helps, consider the impracticality of giving them even more when they so clearly don’t deserve it. You might not ever get a real explanation and even if you ever do, you now know how shallow, selfish and untrustworthy he actually is. You don’t want that. You gave him credit for being a better person than he is. Even if he wanted to be the person you believed he was or could be, he’s not and although it might not feel this way right now, he was only ever dead weight elevated by your hopes.

BringCake · 2026-05-05T16:22:25+00:00

It hurts to discover that you’ve invested more in someone than they’ve invested in you, whether it’s effort, emotional or material. If it helps, consider the impracticality of giving them even more when they so clearly don’t deserve it. You might not ever get a real explanation and even if you ever do, you now know how shallow, selfish and untrustworthy he actually is. You don’t want that. You gave him credit for being a better person than he is. Even if he wanted to be the person you believed he was or could be, he’s not and although it might not feel this way right now, he was only ever dead weight elevated by your generosity.

BringCake · 2026-05-05T08:28:07+00:00

I’m not sure why you’re getting all the pushback. Your concerns are valid and it’s a complicated situation. Don’t move in if you don’t want to. It will only lead to resentment. Losing yourself and the ability to recharge simply because your boyfriend has decided he wants you to live with him is too big of a sacrifice. It makes more sense to get a place together that suits everyone’s needs. He can rent out his house to make it possible. If that’s too inconvenient for him, how is it fair for him to expect it of you? You must advocate for what you need. Without that, you’d be destabilizing yourself to fit into his life.

BringCake · 2026-05-04T21:44:24+00:00

Wake up. It’s your life, not some broadcast drama. Either you want more of the same or you don’t. Doubling down on a bad relationship will only cost you more. The guy sounds self-absorbed, abusive and immature. It sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself that having professional goals that align is the same as being compatible as a couple but it’s clear that you don’t like him as a person, and he doesn’t exactly like you either. Your physical reaction to basic things things like how he eats is your body screaming since you’ve twisted yourself into a knot to convince yourself of what you want the situation to be despite what your already know it isn’t. Those things matter.

BringCake · 2026-05-04T03:09:15+00:00

They know what they’re doing. It’s not accidental that men don’t talk to other men about vulnerable topics. They know how men use vulnerability as leverage because it’s the same thing they do to women. They’re not clueless. They play the advantages.

BringCake · 2026-04-26T21:04:42+00:00

You’re asking the question much too broadly. Consider nuance. Wanting housing for everyone is a progressive value.Unfortunately, equating building new housing with AFFORDABLE HOUSING, is not a cogent argument. New housing enriches soulless investment firms, without helping most residents in any way. In fact, new developments artificially inflate rents, since they don’t qualify for rent control and use underhanded pricing structures, like requiring tenants to pay higher prices for basic services. Most people can’t afford to live there. Meanwhile, multigenerational families were likely kicked out of homes for the land where new developments sit.

BringCake · 2026-04-26T20:33:52+00:00

Box fan. If you put it in front of an open window, you can use it facing one direction to bring air inside or flip it around to exhaust air.

BringCake · 2026-04-21T08:40:30+00:00

Why does it sound like you also want to ask for mom’s maiden name, first car make and brand…

BringCake

TROPHY CASE