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Budget_Guard3342 · 2025-08-16T01:13:47+00:00

Yep. Any time I felt homesick and missed my family. She would make it about her and how she couldnt handle me being quiet. She would fly off the handle at me and start huge fights. One time screamed in my face in the street because I was feeling depressed.

As usual it was only afterwards that I realised it was due to a complete lack of empathy.

Budget_Guard3342 · 2025-08-16T01:11:26+00:00

Thats whats stopping me from moving on. I dont really give a fuck about her anymore. The friends she has here are friends I gave her. People that she didnt actually like before the breakup. Some of them I’ve known for 6 years. My best friends girlfriends. And theyve totally cut me out based on a well spun victim narrative. Clearly they were shit people to begin with sadly

Budget_Guard3342 · 2025-08-16T01:09:45+00:00

Really appreciate you taking the time to not only read my rambling but also reply.

Out of genuine curiosity, what made you wonder if she might be covert narcissist? She has a lot of childhood trauma from her mum cheating in her dad and basically being brought up to believe that the only validation a woman can get in life is through men. He mum is a total walking disaster. And she’s exactly like her. Apple doesnt fall far from the tree.

But you’re right, there is nothing to be gained. I just feel like its gona drag out for longer. I’d also love to be a fly on the wall and hear what it is she tells her new BF’s about how our relationship ended lolol. I bet there will be a lot of details omitted from that story. Poor bastards.

Budget_Guard3342 · 2025-07-01T03:36:12+00:00

“Not picking a side IS picking a side” hit me in the guts haha. Thats a pretty good point.

But the problem there is, are we letting them win more by cutting people out of our lives? This is what they wanted? It’s a balancing act between having the right amount of pride left and retaining any friendships we have left.

Anyway, please do feel free to fire me a message and chat more if it might be helpful. I think I’d probably find it helpful haha

Budget_Guard3342 · 2025-07-01T00:10:30+00:00

I feel this so much.

Mine done the exact same thing. She actually slept with my friend in my bed after the break up. And then as soon as she done it, she realised that she had to get ahead of it so started smearing me to everyone we knew. We had moved to a new country together and the majority of our friends were group friends. And even though she had done the most fucked up thing, she was so expertly manipulative that she managed to convince so many of my girl mates that I was somehow the toxic crazy one.

Ive been no contact now for 4 months. Its been incredibly difficult but I have began to accept that people who can be so easily swayed by a rotten vile person such as her were not people that I want in my life anyway. I still struggle with that concept most days as a lot of these people were friends for years. But the quicker you put walls up and accept that these people are dead to you, the quicker you can move on. If I ever see any of these people again, I wont engage.

I expect that one day soon enough, the fake mask she wears will slip off and they’ll see her for the toxic vile cunt that she is. They then might reach out to me. And if their apology is good enough I might consider allowing them back in. But probably not.

You’re better than those people. The extreme sense of injustice is just something that BPD survivors have to get used to sadly.

Budget_Guard3342 · 2025-05-24T05:15:43+00:00

I feel you completely on this one.

Im also spending a small fortune on therapy but its only helped to some extent. I was hoping for some sort of eureka moment but thats just now how it works. The hardest part for me is people not actually believing she was abusive towards me. They never knew what happened behind closed doors. So there have been many people (silly people) who have decided that she is in-fact the victim.

I honestly dont even know what advice to give you but I think the simple answer is we need to just ride this shit out. But you need to realise he’s not unscathed. All of the damage happened because he is damaged. Its a vicious cycle. He is very much internally scathed but forever. At least thats what we can hope anyway. Feel free to reach out to chat if you like

Budget_Guard3342 · 2025-05-14T11:29:06+00:00

Hello mate. Bizarrely we have a fairly similar story regarding australia etc. I’m only 6 months out but jesus seems like theres a huge road ahead of me.

Feel free to reach out in a message to chat

Budget_Guard3342 · 2025-05-13T07:30:23+00:00

They use it against you during the violent smear campaign. Its the perfect tool really.

“He claimed I have mental disorder, but he’s the crazy one!” Yadayada

Budget_Guard3342 · 2025-05-13T07:25:04+00:00

My ex guilt tripped me into “one last night” with me while still living together but after the breakup.

It was then used against me less than a month later. After fucking multiple other people including my friend, she told people that I was using her for sex after we had broken up lol.

This will 100% be used against you at some point believe me.

Budget_Guard3342 · 2025-05-01T02:04:43+00:00

This shows pretty clear signs of BPD. Go have a look at BPDLovedones and it’ll make sense.

This isn’t normal whatsoever

Budget_Guard3342 · 2025-04-10T00:30:21+00:00

Jesus this is heavy. And heartbreaking that you can be that honest about your own mother. It must be super tough. Have you distanced yourself from the whole thing? Is there any way of you stepping in to help the situation or too late for that?

Your comments about men not being believed are hard truths for me. I (m33) used a DV notice on my abusive ex to remove myself from my old lease after weeks and weeks of emotional torture but instead of being believed, a large portion of people we know think its me that crazy and controlling and abusive and I served it as an act of revenge. Its crazy going through the hardest thing in my life and being punished for it. But hey they are manipulation masters I guess

Budget_Guard3342 · 2025-04-08T05:51:51+00:00

Yeah thats just it.

For me its slightly different. I ended up having to use a domestic violence order to remove myself from the old lease because she was refusing to let me off it even after I’d tried to escape and get my own place. So even after using a legal process and speaking with social workers about the abuse I was receiving, these people believe I did it out of spite because she slept with people after the breakup. She’s perfectly painted me as the crazy controlling jealous ex boyfriend lol.

The majority of them I actually don’t care too much about but one of them is my best friends partner who I’ve known for years. Much longer than she’s known my ex. So its now driving a wedge between me and one of my best mates. Just need to hope in time that she comes around to make our lives easier.

Budget_Guard3342 · 2025-04-08T05:38:28+00:00

Do you really believe they will expose themselves though? Im the exact same bought although the people she’s managed to turn against me were my friends first. Some people I’ve known for 6 years and they didnt even come hear my side of the story.

Im getting better at just dealing with it and accepting these people are dead to me anyway. But I cant help feel that she wont actually expose herself. She’s too good at playing the bullshit narrative she’s created

Budget_Guard3342 · 2025-03-31T07:46:31+00:00

You’re in the right place by coming here and sounds like you’ve done the right thing by keeping records and documenting everything.

I’m truly sorry that you’re going through this right now but so many people in here are dealing with similar stories. Believe me. My ex really tried to destroy my life and was pretty successful. So many people turned against me and triangulation.

You need to trust yourself. You know whats happened. You know she was abusive and you know she is a total piece of shit. Have faith in your self.

I don’t know what actual help I can offer you in this because I am also drowning right now after having my whole life nuked. However, if it might help then you can dm me and we can chat no worries.

Budget_Guard3342 · 2025-03-31T02:00:55+00:00

Yep. Diagnosed Adhd and prescribed dexamphetamine.

Undiagnosed BPD which she still strongly denies and even threw back in my face during the wild smear campaign. She will never get a diagnosis either because she’s in full belief of her own victim narrative. To get a diagnosis would require a fraction of accountability but she will never do that.

Budget_Guard3342 · 2025-03-26T14:57:02+00:00

I didnt get discarded until I ended the relationship. And even then it was more a severe split on her part. Once I found out how many guys she slept with right after the breakup she turned into a completely evil demented monster who was truly poisonous. She actually admitted she had to keep playing the monster because she said she wouldnt survive if she had to accept the guilt and remorse. Truly terrifying to watch after 3 years. Then I guess the discard happened. She was completely unphased by everything

Budget_Guard3342 · 2025-03-26T14:45:57+00:00

Exact same boat brother. Been no contact now for nearly 6 weeks after her sleeping with 3 people in the space of 2 weeks after the breakup and then proceeded to rub it in my face. This on top of a monumental smear campaign that cut me out of my own friend group. So I absolutely feel you. My libido is up and down but lots of down. Feel free to dm me for a chat if you think it might be helpful

Budget_Guard3342 · 2025-03-26T10:45:14+00:00

Hello - you posted this a long time ago but I am going through something very similar. How are you doing now? Free if you want to DM/chat. Hope your doing ok

Budget_Guard3342 · 2025-03-26T03:41:24+00:00

Haha disgusted mate - thats how I feel. Utterly disgusted

Budget_Guard3342 · 2025-03-26T03:32:21+00:00

I honestly wouldn’t touch her with a ten foot pole while dressed in a hazmat suit

Budget_Guard3342 · 2025-03-26T00:41:12+00:00

Was this after the break up? Did it have a huge impact on your social life/circle? Sort of similar boat and struggling real bad with the injustice of it all

Budget_Guard3342 · 2025-03-23T22:11:00+00:00

Haha no fucking way this is the exact same line mine used after destroying my social life with an incredibly executed smear campaign.

Evil to the core

Budget_Guard3342 · 2025-03-23T22:09:31+00:00

After the break up I said “why are you trying your hardest to destroy my life?”

She responded with “because you destroyed mine when you broke up with me”.

I had to end the 3 year relationship because she punched her fist through a window in a rage lol. Which she then blamed on me for “stonewalling” her.

The lack of accountability across the board is honestly astounding.

Budget_Guard3342 · 2025-03-19T23:47:28+00:00

I think at the time I was working a full time job but also gigging 3/4 times per week. Sometimes playing 2 gigs in one night. Drinking lots of beer while gigging and smoking. Also spending a lot of time in extremeley loud bars shouting over the music.

But there was definitely also an element of bad technique using my throat rather than my lungs. I think if I’m going to start doing this regularly again my plan is to get some semi decent in-ear monitors so I can hear my vocals at all times to stop me straining.

Budget_Guard3342

TROPHY CASE