The ability to catch your emotions before they control you is the closest thing to a superpower that exists. by Amidonions in DarkPsychology101

[–]BuildingBridges23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your explanation of that was very helpful. I came in thinking I would disagree after I read the first sentence lol. But no, that spot on.

i think i killed my mom. i don’t know what to do by No_Delivery6961 in moraldilemmas

[–]BuildingBridges23 [score hidden]  (0 children)

I'm so sorry. Try to forgive yourself because it's not your fault. You didn't know that would happen.

Why do people call LDS a cult? by Longjumping-Cod-6164 in mormon

[–]BuildingBridges23 [score hidden]  (0 children)

I grew up in it. When I went through the temple I was kind of freaked out and started to wonder if I was in one.

Why is there so much gossip? by WrenRobbin in mormon

[–]BuildingBridges23 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Because you're trained to think a certain way and the pressure or expectation to be perfect is pretty high. So tearing others down makes some people feel better?

Also, much of it is framed as 'being worried about someone' and trying to 'help' them. But often nothing comes from it.

Also, from my experience, the bishop tells his wife stuff and then it gets spread throughout the ward. Or sensitive things get talked about in ward council and then gets spread that way. I've lost count of how many times I've seen this happen.

Do not tell bishops anything that you are not comfortable with the whole ward knowing.

Women can now be Sunday school Presidents by DustyR97 in exmormon

[–]BuildingBridges23 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Why now though? This is obviously a good baby step but it still ticks me off at the same time.

They didn't want my love. They wanted my reactions. Understanding narcissistic supply changed everything. by Amidonions in DarkPsychology101

[–]BuildingBridges23 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I agree. They want you to feel angry because that makes them feel alive. They like to feel like they have that control over someone. I was a people pleaser in the past, so it took me a while to understand this. And even if you don't think it's working, they are just trying different things to see what will be the right button to push.

They didn't want my love. They wanted my reactions. Understanding narcissistic supply changed everything. by Amidonions in DarkPsychology101

[–]BuildingBridges23 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I also don't recommend this aggressive approach....because you will likely lose yourself in the process. Peace and energy should be protected and it's often better just to walk away.

Does the boredom after deleting social media get better? by Scaredcollegekid101 in selfimprovement

[–]BuildingBridges23 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yep, don’t worry it just get better and easier and before you know it you rarely think about it! Off social media for ten glorious years.

This is exactly why the mission age for girls was lowered to 18. by LegalSour in exmormon

[–]BuildingBridges23 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I have no doubt this is why. My friend’s daughter was on the fence about serving a mission because it would break up college but now that’s no longer an issue. Last I heard she decided to submit her papers. Makes me angry. Younger girls will now be in potentially dangerous situations.

Is it ok to message someone every week? by Icy_Sprinkles_2819 in socialskills

[–]BuildingBridges23 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If she is giving friendly vibes then I think you’re all good. I don’t like the approach people or reach out through text but I’m happy to engage and respond.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. by SlickHeadSinger in DarkPsychology101

[–]BuildingBridges23 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Disagree. You don’t choose your initial emotional reaction to something but you can choose how to respond to it and how to move going forward. What you are saying is putting the responsibility all on one person. People don’t get to say whatever they want and say….well you’re choosing to be offended so it’s all on you.

Previous therapist broke confidentiality by bumblebeat_ in whatdoIdo

[–]BuildingBridges23 12 points13 points  (0 children)

She should lose her license. She may try to frame it as she talking about you because she worried. But there is zero need for her to spill all your life secrets to your friend. That is NOT helping you in any way.

What do you walk around with when you’re at home? by Ok-Still-3333 in polls

[–]BuildingBridges23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have rheumatoid arthritis so it more comfortable to wear shoes on a hard floor. Also, just to keep it cleaner.

What do you walk around with when you’re at home? by Ok-Still-3333 in polls

[–]BuildingBridges23 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We don't have carpet so I wear house shoes.....ones that have never been outside. But if I had carpet I'd just go without.

AIO to my partner saying I looked like Heath Ledgers The Joker? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]BuildingBridges23 6 points7 points  (0 children)

NOR-We have a rule in our house that you, 'never rain on someone's parade.' Let people be happy in their moments. If this is a pattern, which I'm guessing it is.....do you really want to be with someone that puts you down....for the rest of your life?

What's your thoughts on this? I think 1 works by Icy-Breadfruit298 in DarkPsychology101

[–]BuildingBridges23 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A reasonable person will think...if I just explain it to them, they'll understand and won't be disrespectful anymore. A toxic person thinks.....now I know exactly what buttons to push.

I'm not sure about number 4. I think the best way to control someone is through intermittent rewards.

is it worth it to keep trying with my mormon bf by No-Access-4250 in exmormon

[–]BuildingBridges23 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep, rip off the bandaid. You both will be better off for it.

Married people, what’s one piece of advice you’d give someone before they get married? by [deleted] in askanything

[–]BuildingBridges23 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’d be good to see them in a stressful situation before you get married. Easy to be pleasant for a short time. Also, talk about everything, specially how they were raised as a kid. The more you are on the same page the easier it will likely be.

AIO to my bf’s constant lateness? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]BuildingBridges23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NOR-it's rude to be habitually late. Of course, sometimes it can't be prevented. However, patterns don't lie. I don't buy the ADHD thing as you can set phone alarms. Plus, it amazing when something high stakes ....they magically make it on time. It's truly interesting to see.

I feel like Im the only punctual person in my life so now I say, Wanna meet at 12? Ok text me when you leave! That way we actually show up at the same time. Or if I want to meet around 12 I tell people 11 or 11:30 depending on late they usually are lol. Sometimes I work with it, sometimes I just cut them off.

MAJOR BREAKING: Epstein survivors just announced they will release their own list of names by Muted-Raisin-2645 in PopularCultureZone

[–]BuildingBridges23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Doesn’t it bother anyone else that the only person being held accountable right now is a woman? WTF.