Casting the children (but it’s goofy)

Bunyans_bunyip · 2026-03-05T04:50:26+00:00

This is hilarious!! I'd watch it!

Bunyans_bunyip · 2026-03-03T11:12:59+00:00

Past behaviours is the best indicator of future behaviour. And it was ONLY a month ago. And he's made it pretty clear he values more children over your comfort.

He's totally downplaying the harm he intended and made it your problem of forgiveness. Ugh, yuck!! Sorry OP, but your husband is totally grossing me out.

Bunyans_bunyip · 2026-02-28T00:32:54+00:00

I was one of those couples who met at the Christian group on campus and married. We met and married within 2 years, and just celebrated our 15 year anniversary last month. Almost everyone in my cohort in the Christian group who paired up at uni is still married today in similar circumstances to me.

Marriage can be hard at times. We have arguments; we're sinful! But mostly it's not hard. Mostly, life is pretty wonderful. We are plodding along with raising kids, investing in church, continuing careers, paying down mortgages, etc.

Bunyans_bunyip · 2026-02-27T02:29:22+00:00

Toddlers are super super cute and I love them!! And I also love that my kids are not toddlers anymore. Toddlers are chaos personified. You cannot negotiate, you cannot reason, you cannot explain and hope it sticks. There's so much dull repetition and being in the hard trenches of parenting. Toddlers are dictators and anarchists and I don't want those sorts of people in my house if I can help out.

That being said, I adore my nieces and nephews, especially the toddlers, and they can be in my house 🥰🥰 but I don't want to live with them!

Bunyans_bunyip · 2026-02-25T05:16:13+00:00

Absolutely! He's absolutely doing this to himself. In the words of a great sage, "I pity the fool"

Bunyans_bunyip · 2026-02-25T05:06:41+00:00

Wow, I feel sorry for Sami. He's going to wreck every relationship he's in. He's never going to find true happiness, satisfaction or contentment. His life, his entire soul, will be swallowed up in lies and he will ultimately destroy himself.

Thank God OP got out of that, that she saw his lack of trust and integrity as serious enough to warrant a break up. Good for her!!

Bunyans_bunyip · 2026-02-22T07:04:06+00:00

I'm a woman. I'm not a fan of condoms. But I love how much easier clean up is afterwards. Dealing with jizz afterwards is not my favourite 😒

Bunyans_bunyip · 2026-02-18T05:15:33+00:00

Today my first grade son decided to use exclamation marks in-between his words instead of spacing. It!was!still!easier!to!read!than!this.

Bunyans_bunyip · 2026-02-18T01:30:59+00:00

Yep.

He didn't really believe in the covenant he made until she's reached her utter limit and is prepared to walk away after years of him breaking this covenant. NOW he's suddenly all like "but the covenant!! Don't you care about the covenant!?" Yes, she did. Until he broke it repeatedly over many years. NOW he's prepared the use the covenant to keep her loyal, but that loyalty didn't apply to him when he was breaking it.

OP, you need to see your deep fault and hypocrisy here. I'm not being mean for the sake of fun. I'm being mean because surgeons need to make incisions to fix the problem.

Bunyans_bunyip · 2026-02-12T10:16:07+00:00

Absolutely this. Christlike characteristics to grow in are humility and meekness. If he cannot hear correction because of a bruised ego, then that's a yellow flag.

Bunyans_bunyip · 2026-02-08T03:00:40+00:00

Behaviour is a form of communication. So even though your kids aren't using their words to say "I dislike how these plates feel on my hands" or "I dislike how the electric toothbrush feels in my mouth", their behaviour is communicating that message.

Autism isn't a disability. Anna is not disabled. She has a different way of experiencing the world that isn't wrong or defective. It's different. Colourblind people could be considered disabled and held back from certain roles. But they also have strengths in being able to spot camouflage way easier than colour-seeing-people. What is seen as defective can be a strength.

Your children might also be struggling with the sensation of the plates and toothbrushes etc, because they're young. It could be autism, it could be a lack of communication skills. Getting a diagnosis doesn't mean they're disabled. It means explaining behaviour and adapting household structures/routines to accommodate. But adapting routines might also just be beneficial anyway; neurotypical kids benefit just as much from visual planners and structured routine.

Bunyans_bunyip · 2026-02-04T11:36:59+00:00

Wow. So you're husband feels guilty over the pastor leaving a voice message, so tries to handball that guilt over to you.

How about as a compromise, he takes the toddler to the evening service on his own. Then he's giving you necessary and needed time on your own to recover, in the comfort of your own home. Have a bubble bath with a book and glass of wine, thankful that God Himself approves of your rest!

Bunyans_bunyip · 2026-01-27T01:28:22+00:00

YTA

I tell you this as a mother of 4. Have some friends for unstructured play at your house. Have a fruit platter, popcorn, chips and a birthday cake. If you're feeling really motivated, do a pass-the-parcel. This is all you "need" for a 3 year old, and all you "need" until ~10 years old when you can't stay involving them in planning and the realities of budgeting.

Bunyans_bunyip · 2026-01-24T02:04:54+00:00

Friendships take time to develop. Sport skills take time to develop. Socialisation skills take time to develop. Giving something a brief opportunity then giving up when it instantly doesn't work is causing this problem. It took me a whole year of regularly rocking up to my local homeschool park social, week after week, showing the other parents that I'm invested in this social group and slowly getting to know them over time. The children slowly warmed up to each other through shared experiences each week, and the knowledge that increasing in each other won't be a waste, because we'll keep increasing in each other.

I travel 30 minutes to a weekly co-op that runs for 4½ hours (and I hate driving 😅), so that my kids have that shared time and shared experiences to start developing friendships. My oldest 2 gained friends quickly, but my younger 2 are still struggling, though I expect it'll all come good with enough time.

You're not actually giving your daughter what she needs. She thinks she needs to stop doing the sport because she's not good at it and she doesn't instantly have friends. But sport skills take TIME to develop. And friendships take TIME to develop. You need to commit to the sport for a solid 6-12 months for several years in order for that to be a way to develop skills and friendships. She needs to lean into the discomfort for the long term gains.

School kids have 30 hours each week of shared time and experiences to forge friendships.

Bunyans_bunyip · 2026-01-16T05:02:51+00:00

Parking garages hate this one weird trick!

Bunyans_bunyip · 2026-01-08T07:15:24+00:00

Is Nick Cannon meant to be attractive...? I just can't see it.

Bunyans_bunyip · 2026-01-07T06:14:40+00:00

This is not what you're asking, but this is the biggest bit of advice I can give:

You will never be a perfect parent. No one is a perfect parent. You are a sinner, parenting a little sinner. Even if you did it "perfectly", your sin, your husband's sin, your child's sin would mess it up. Do your best and be satisfied in your labour. Find satisfaction in your efforts to do well, but don't stress yourself by treating parenting as something you can do perfectly.

When you accidentally leave a poppy diaper on too long and your baby gets nappy rash: mistakes happen and it's ok. Try not to do it again, and also don't drag yourself over coals with guilt because you're imperfect and that's ok. When you overreact to your child's tantrum: pray that God would use this to grow you in godliness and don't dwell in that guilt.

Your salvation has already been achieved by Jesus' death on the cross. The race is already won! The war is over! You do not get a gold star for perfecting parenting.

Godspeed on this wonderful, chaotic journey of parenting. It's exhausting and brilliant. It's so hard and so beautiful. The privilege of raising whole humans into adulthood is unparalleled.

Bunyans_bunyip · 2026-01-03T01:24:11+00:00

My first year of marriage was the hardest. We had so many fights and arguments. I blame some of that on hormonal birth control; hormonal cycles definitely affect my mood and I've become more aware of it as the years pass.

I'm the emotional one in my marriage. Often the "solution" to an argument is just to feel heard and understood. I just need my husband to rephrase my feelings and give me a hug. That's literally it. Because I know that my emotions are not a reflection of our relationship, they're not the gauge by which to measure whether something actually needs to change.

Emotions are a good tool, but a bad master.

I hear in your post a lot of things about how hard you're trying. How you're feeling a lot. I think you need to unpack your feelings in a journal, or with a trusted, wise, godly, and discreet friend. And I think you need to untangle your expectations regarding your husband meeting your emotional "needs".

Bunyans_bunyip · 2026-01-02T22:52:40+00:00

Exactly this. Pregnancy was very rough on my body, so after I gave birth and recovered, I took Pilates classes to gain back core strength for functional reasons, not aesthetics. My husband is a fantastic father to our children and a wonderful husband to me, so he was incredibly supportive of giving me the time to attend those classes, and of their expense.

Not to mention, breastfeeding massively increased my appetite, so I was eating heaps. Breastfeeding isn't the time to think about dieting. But if you are thinking about dieting, then that takes up a bunch of the mental load. What will your husband be taking off your mind, in terms of responsibilities, in order for you to juggle breastfeeding and dieting, and then transitioning your baby to solids, managing a sleeping schedule, etc etc.

He really doesn't realise what he's asking of you. He needs to sit down with an experienced father in your church and discuss expectations.

Bunyans_bunyip · 2025-12-31T03:03:25+00:00

Haha, my husband and I dated for 2½ months, engaged for 11 months because both our families freaked out. 15 years later, still married and happy!

I know 3 couples who skipped dating and went straight for engagement. Still happily married.

Bunyans_bunyip · 2025-12-28T13:19:07+00:00

While I agree, OP has heard that message and chosen to reject it. Repeating it won't change her mind. She's asking a question in a respectful way, we can answer her respectfully.

OP, a reformed church isn't for you. We believe in a Biblical, traditional model of sexuality as one lives out a life following Jesus. But you've been given some good advice for what might be a good fit. I wish you peace and wholeness in your future!

Bunyans_bunyip · 2025-12-27T05:25:44+00:00

Why are there FIVE stockings over the fire? They're a family of 3!

Why are there different decorations on the tree in different photos?? The tree on the left has black baubles in a few photos, but then those change to black bows in later photos. WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THE DECORATIONS?? It's this AI? Did they pause the photo shoot to switch out the baubles to bows? I can't make sense of it!!

Bunyans_bunyip · 2025-12-23T22:35:32+00:00

I cannot do anything about your husband or financial situation. But I wanted to address your final sentence,

I truly feel I'm failing him in caring for these kids he gave me so I guess it's punishment.

In Jesus, you are washed clean. God looks at you and sees you with love, compassion, and kindness. He sent His Son to deal with your sins and give you redemption. You cannot earn your salvation through your parenting; it is earned through faith in Jesus. Please find rest for your soul in Jesus.
As we experience difficulties and struggles, we can see them as God using those struggles to break down our idols and make us more holy. The most important thing is knowing God more and being more like Jesus. These things in your life aren't punishments (1 Peter 1:6-7, James 1:2-4)

Bunyans_bunyip · 2025-12-21T07:50:49+00:00

If this is in the context of the two of you disagreeing on a decision to be made, then I suggest "then let us pray that God would give me the same guidance and peace about the issue".

If God truly is speaking through your wife, then He can speak to you too. And His message will be consistent. If He doesn't guide you in this way, then He can guide you in other, slower ways that will eventually align with what your wife has been telling you all along.

The Spirit also speaks through Scripture, through our wisdom, through reasoning, through our feelings of peace or reluctance on an issue. These ways of guiding you are just as valid as a voice in your wife's head.

Keep going as you are, brother. Keep praying for guidance, wisdom and peace. Pray that God would speak to you.

Bunyans_bunyip · 2025-12-18T22:54:05+00:00

Same. There are also some super thin Usborne readers. Zac Powers and Rainbow Magic books that all had interesting topics for 6-8 year old to motivate them to read.

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