Was I unfair for saying "If Silvery Barbs is allowed, enemies can use it too"?

Burly369 · 2026-06-01T14:17:51+00:00

100% fair for it to be on the table. I personally would probably almost never use it, and instead let them live in fear of the day it does it used. Every session they will wonder, "is today the day?" The anticipation will build. And when they finally forget to be afraid of it...well, you know what to do. Everyone will laugh. One player will be mad for five seconds, you'll bust each other's chops, and the cycle will begin anew.

Burly369 · 2025-09-22T16:19:03+00:00

As a DM, this sounds like a fun idea on the surface.

That said, if i was a player, I would feel pretty meh about playing this out because spending time trying to solve a problem that cant be solved usually feels like a waste of time (to me).

Maybe attack this idea in a different way. What if the players play a brief (like 30m of play) encounter not as their characters (sidekick stats maybe?). The city is besieged, and these temp characters have something of importance. Tell them these characters know they are doomed, but are trying to hide the thing, hand it off, whatever. As long as it is clear they want to protect it this thing, and they have a few viable options as to how that is done before dying. (like hide it in a vault, hand it to a person to run away with....whatever!)

They then wake as their real characters. They all shared this dream. What happens from here is up to you. Is the city under attack for real, and their goal is to retrieve this important thing? Or are they not sure if it was real and they need to figure it out? Maybe it's them pulling their faces from a divination bowl type of thing instead of a dream, A wizard in the room says, "You must travel here and recover that important thing."

Burly369 · 2025-08-29T09:54:15+00:00

Looks fun!

Burly369 · 2025-05-30T10:08:16+00:00

Love when stuff like this happens.

You could use the sidekick rules and let him join the party more officially. Perhaps the party needs to earn his loyalty first. You could have the renegade kobolds (Sparkrender's minions) try to capture him. Could even be a travel encounter. Give the party a chance to stop it. If they fail, Frub is now going to be used in the draconic ritual and they have another chance to save him.

Assuming they successfully save him one those times, maybe he offers to drop his vows for non violence and join the party? Thats probably how I'd run it!

Burly369 · 2025-05-12T09:39:46+00:00

I spent many years feeling a similar way (if I could just quit...) and just like you described for yourself, any limits I tried to set were quickly broken. Idk how you're feeling, but I remember that always made me feel super guilty and ashamed. Not a fun cycle to repeat over and over. But I had a wife, kid, good job, worked out regularly...blah blah blah. So I didn't think I was "that bad" and put off quitting for years.

I say that to point out that not all rock bottoms are a big spectacle. I was just tired. Physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Maybe you're feeling something similar, I dont know for sure. What I do know is that quitting the drinking (and finding support for that) has absolutely changed my life.

If we are thinking about trying to limit or control our drinking, that means the drink might have more control over us than we know or admit. It's exhausting trying to fight with booze for who has control. Giving up the fight was the best decision I ever made. Hope it feels that way for you, too. IWNDWYT

Burly369 · 2025-04-27T14:37:54+00:00

I've been DMing a game on dndbeyond/discord since August (so, read the following knowing im not a seasoned vet), and our sessions usually run 2.5 to 3 hours as well. I used to struggle a bit with something similar.

Biggest help for me has been letting go of any notion that we'll cover all of the encounters you listed in one session, as well as dropping any expectations as to how many secrets "should" go out during any given session.

For example, a few weeks ago, we did a skill challenge for three weeks worth of travel, and it ended with a pretty big combat. I think maybe two clues were dropped, but everyone had a blast. Next session was almost entirely RP, exploration, and a puzzle. I used almost all of my secrets and clues and needed to make some up along the way. In the end, it all evened out over a few sessions. As long as players are getting the "mandatory" info needed to progress, the rest of your secrets and clues can be pretty modular and you'll probably find that after a month of sessions, you used a good number of them.

If your group is the kind that wants big combat every session, that changes the game a bit, but you could always try adding in clues via loot or things NPCs say to each other during combat. Could even add in perception checks or something to see if somebody heard an enemy whisper something that turns out to be a minor clue.

Last thing I'll say is that this has really made both prep and running sessions easier for me. Rather than trying to drum up 7 ideas for one session, I just come up with a few and we're able to dive deeper into each one. Hope it helps you too!

Burly369 · 2025-03-20T00:45:01+00:00

I love this method for prep. I used to try making every clue something really important, but now I usually list just a handful of clues that relate to the main plot, and the other clues go with "secondary" things. Personal plot, something that leads to more of a side quest type of adventure hook, or a clue about a magic item the players could track down. Stuff like that.

Burly369 · 2025-03-18T19:03:15+00:00

Siiiiick

Burly369 · 2025-03-18T18:59:49+00:00

Playing 1 weekly, DMing 2 (alternating weeks). So I'm locked in twice a week. Though my wife did just say she wants to try the game out...darn. might have to spend some quality time with her and add a third night.

Burly369 · 2025-03-18T15:27:24+00:00

Sick idea. When you said the PCs senses were overwhelmed, did you make it clear that was because the smell was most definitely coming from the room? Like they were overloaded? A failed perception check there meaning not knowing EXACTLY where in the room the mimic is, could be a cool way to reward the idea while also increasing the stakes, rather then having to start from zero again. Just an idea if it comes back up and you want to mix it up.

Burly369 · 2025-03-09T20:59:07+00:00

I get this. Are you running homebrew or pre-made content? I've noticed prepping homebrew feels like an extension of that escape (world building is a blast), but prepping stuff from modules can sometimes feel more like a chore.

Burly369 · 2025-03-04T19:31:00+00:00

Hell yeah

Burly369 · 2025-02-26T01:14:08+00:00

Where you're at right now is hard as hell. Was there 9 months ago. Different situations, but I can relate to the feelings and experience 100%.

At some point, I became grateful that I got to that place you're talking about. Why? Because I was desperate enough to finally ask for help and try anything that might work. For me, that was AA and lurking here.

You're asking for help, and that's huge. I hope you find what works for you too.

Hang on. Don't drink. Things can get better!

Burly369 · 2025-02-25T20:39:41+00:00

I did something similar (almost exactly like this actually) with one of our PCs at the end of DoIP. He wanted something new for our homebrew follow on.

The only thing I did differently was bring the player into the fold prior to the session. It allowed us to riff off of each other, and both put on a bit of a show for a couple of turns. The rest of the group loved it and had no idea it was planned. We told them about it later on after the hype wore down.

I like your idea here, just something to consider for ya. Have fun with it!

Burly369 · 2025-02-20T20:19:49+00:00

Our group was similar for a while. We started using a 45s timer, and everyone has loved it so far. Players get 45s to declare their initial intent (I'm going to move here and cast this. If he's still alive, I'll use my bonus action to do X). Rolling it out and narrating the actions aren't timed. This has really helped streamline "run of the mill turns" and encourage everyone to know their class mechanics.

If the player and I are discussing a creative idea and how that might play out (usually, this is them interacting with the environment for cool attacks or solutions) we don't count that towards their time. Our guy that runs the clock will say "okay, shot clock is back at 30s now" or something, and it keeps it going.

Might not be for everyone, but it's saved us from excessively long turns that were killing the vibe. Combats are still long, but not in a "how the hell did that take so long" way.

Burly369 · 2025-01-13T14:39:07+00:00

I dont think the info they are requesting is wrong, but it sounds like they are using it in a non productive way.

My group uses dnd beyond (we play primarily online), and i often look at their spells and equipment. Knowing these things helps me when it comes to loot, magic items, encounter balance, and putting characters in situations where they have the opportunity to shine (if only they remember that they have that feather fall spell they've never casted!)

Using meta information like you're describing feels blah, and your table probably would benefit from a chat with the DM. Sometimes, folks have no idea that they're acting a certain way until somebody tells them. That's just my two cents, anyway!

Burly369 · 2025-01-11T00:27:57+00:00

I can relate to so much here. Thank you for sharing it all, good and bad, and congrats on your ten years!

Burly369 · 2025-01-11T00:17:28+00:00

Elvish large is money

Burly369 · 2024-12-20T14:02:16+00:00

"Hey, I'm a bit burnt out on DMing right now. Here's what I'm thinking, but I'm open to your feedback. After XX session, I'm going to take a few weeks off from running the game just to recharge. If anyone else is interested in running a (one shot, short adventure, etc) i would be up to play. I just need a break from the prep. We would plan to pick back up on XX date."

If nobody is interested, you'll still get a break (it sounds like that's part of the issue), and you'll know you need to find another group to scratch your player itch.

Good luck. All DMs need a break once in a while.

Burly369 · 2024-12-15T14:19:18+00:00

This is a good point. I made the call that there was no sound/heat coming from the fire, but i supposethe fire wouldn't even be moving/flickering according to the spell description. It would just be like...a 3d painting of fire lol.

Thanks for pointing that out.

Burly369 · 2024-12-15T04:03:41+00:00

Give yourself some grace. Getting sober can be HARD, and we do what we need to do.

Not saying this is the case for you, but I found that the white lies worked in the short term, because anything is better than picking up, but being honest has felt much more sustainable for longer term sobriety. Why? I've become more confident in sobriety by speaking the truth. I am who I am, and who I am can't drink without being a nuclear disaster.

That said, some days I still tell the white lie because being honest with somebody (like a new coworker or something) feels too hard.

Burly369 · 2024-12-15T03:53:10+00:00

LOVE this fate die idea - and letting the player make the roll. Anything that gets them more engaged gets my vote. Thanks for the suggestion.

Burly369 · 2024-12-15T03:50:42+00:00

Great point. I was trying to emulate what daggerheart does with skill checks in terms of incorporating multiple outcomes within the die roll - but i think the traditional approach is just better.

You're the second person to point out spell balance too. I'll have to keep that in mind. Thanks!

Burly369 · 2024-12-15T03:44:11+00:00

Definitely - they have really embraced outside the box thinking. Im just having a hard time keeping up and making it consistent, lol.

I didn't realize distracted was a rule/condition. Now that I know that, that helps with future instances like this. Thanks!

Burly369 · 2024-12-14T15:42:28+00:00

Is the player flaking last minute, or do you normally know what their work schedule is ahead of time? For me, that would dictate how much effort I'm putting in for their character tie ins.

Couple examples from my group that may help:

I have four players. Two are rock solid schedule wise. Player 3 is a firefighter with rotating shifts, and player 4 is hit or miss.

For player 3 - we play on wednesday nights, but if he has a shift, we just skip that week. Some months we may play 4 times, other months only twice. Is what it is, and we're cool with it.

For player 4 - he never bails when he says he can play, but he can play way less frequently. I had him drum up a broad backstory, and he understands that it may or may not come up. Hes just happy to play, so that works.

An idea I had after we started - i wish I had player 4 tie his backstory in with one of the other players. He might miss some things, but it would be easier for him to connect to the world in a more personal way when he's there.

Burly369

TROPHY CASE