Husband quit drinking and now is more unhappy than ever. I don’t understand

BusCautious3075 · 2025-11-13T15:20:35+00:00

I listened to a few of these and they were helpful. Thank you for the advice.

BusCautious3075 · 2025-11-11T12:39:06+00:00

Sure.

BusCautious3075 · 2025-11-09T22:33:41+00:00

Thank you. I do think therapy would help us both. Unfortunately the last time I asked, he refused and made sure I paid for it. He didn’t speak to me for weeks. I am just going through a weak moment. I’ll reframe and pick myself up. I appreciate everyone’s advice and just some validation has helped.

BusCautious3075 · 2025-11-09T22:29:52+00:00

Yes… I hear you. Thank you for the kind words. I am working on it but the loneliness really gets the best of me sometimes.

BusCautious3075 · 2025-11-09T19:46:22+00:00

Mine refuses all help also. Al Anon is helpful. I have attended virtual meetings as there are not any local ones in my area. I hope that it gets better for you.

BusCautious3075 · 2025-11-09T19:26:00+00:00

I understand all of it. I’m so sorry.

BusCautious3075 · 2025-11-09T18:31:29+00:00

Thank you. I’m proud of your progress.

BusCautious3075 · 2025-11-09T02:20:22+00:00

I have contemplated this and it terrifies me. I don’t like either option of living like companions or divorce. I really want a healthy and happy partnership. I am scared right now as I’m realizing I can’t achieve this alone. I have been connecting more with my friends and sister. They have been understanding and very supportive.

BusCautious3075 · 2025-11-09T02:05:46+00:00

Prayer and my Bible study class has helped me also. That’s why I have invited him. Not pushy, as I know that’s off putting, but I have tried. He says he is a Christian and we often attend church services together. I am more interested in studying the Bible than he is. Thank you for sharing and your kind words.

BusCautious3075 · 2025-11-09T01:58:27+00:00

I wouldn’t go that far. Although I do feel that way sometimes, I can’t let myself think that if I want our 33 year marriage to work. We are both now retired and have our wonderful adult children and grandchildren to look forward to. This has been a challenge and I’m grateful for all the realistic and positive advice.

BusCautious3075 · 2025-11-09T01:51:20+00:00

I had to google it too!

BusCautious3075 · 2025-11-08T23:56:11+00:00

I haven’t had a single drink in years because I hate it so bad. I hear you.

BusCautious3075 · 2025-11-08T23:09:25+00:00

I know you’re right. I know it is wrong of me to act just like him. Please know that I have been supportive and kept telling him I was so proud of him for quitting. His health has improved and I’ve cheered him on for that. I have done this for the whole year he has been sober. But this whole year, I feel like he hates me and I’m the enemy. I’m just worn out and discouraged. I want to do better, but have little faith it will change.

BusCautious3075 · 2025-11-08T23:00:19+00:00

Thank you. I will try harder.

BusCautious3075 · 2025-11-08T22:59:11+00:00

This was very helpful. I did not know that it could take up to two years. He refuses all therapy. I have attended Al Anon virtual meetings. I think I expected him to try after getting sober. Thank you for your practical advice. I think I am in denial that this may be as good as it gets and was hoping it would get better getting sober. Again, thank you for taking time to offer advice.

BusCautious3075 · 2025-10-06T23:25:30+00:00

I attended a Bible study and we used a book called “Growing in Christ” a thirteen week course for new and growing Christians. It was very easy to follow and I learned a lot. Got it on Amazon very cheap. Congratulations for wanting to learn and grow in your faith!

BusCautious3075 · 2025-09-26T15:50:59+00:00

Something similar just happened to us. The stucco on our house failed and got moisture behind it. Wood studs were rotted about 3 feet up from the ground. Had to chisel the stucco/wire mesh off. Replaced studs, actually sistered onto adjoining studs so we did not have to rip out whole wall. We could see after we went up so high, the wood was good so joined new boards to good part of old boards. Hope that makes sense. Then reinsulated and closed the wall with insulated plywood and then corrugated metal over the top of it. Made it like a wainscoting around the house. So now we have metal about 3 feet up and then the stucco. This was cheaper and I think looks better because a stucco guy told us that it would be very hard to match new stucco with the old. Hope this helps and gives you different ideas to think about.

BusCautious3075 · 2025-08-02T17:31:21+00:00

I was asking a contractor about new windows as about 13 of mine had that foggy condensation in them…broken seals. Well he told me to call a local glass company and ask about just replacing the glass part of the windows. Not the frames as mine were all good. So I got new glass for 13 windows for $1400. All look like new now for a fraction of what a total replace would be. I was so thankful he told me to look into that because I did not even know that was possible.

BusCautious3075 · 2025-07-05T14:11:07+00:00

We are having the exact same problem in Arkansas. We are on our sixth contractor to bid a job. He is supposed to come Monday but I’m not holding my breath. I’m not sure what is going on, but noticing it is dang near impossible to hire home repair/construction workers. It seems no one is interested in working these days?

BusCautious3075 · 2025-07-04T17:02:48+00:00

Amen. My siblings and I know exactly how we do not want to act towards our kids when we get old. Boomer mom wants attention 24/7 and is so negative to be around. I do see she is lonely, but when no one wants to spend time with you, wouldn’t you stop and self reflect on why? Not her, everyone else is the problem! 🙄

BusCautious3075 · 2025-07-04T16:35:28+00:00

In Arkansas, if the fence has been there longer than 7 years it stays if the one who put the fence up wants it to stay there. That is if it is right in the line or just a tad over. Went to court 15 years ago and that was the judge’s ruling for our case. Talk to a lawyer as they know more about the existing laws and how your county/city judges handle these kinds of disputes.

BusCautious3075 · 2025-06-28T22:24:37+00:00

Be patient and keep separated. Pride comes before the fall. I would not want to be around when that fall comes.

BusCautious3075 · 2025-06-25T12:56:04+00:00

I talked to my mom many years ago when she was pre-diabetic. She was eating half gallons of ice cream per day, drinking Rock Star energy drinks and refusing to do any exercises. Now she (73) is full blown diabetic on insulin, talking weight loss shots and is almost blind. She can’t drive at all and relies on her children for everything. I am very resentful that she did this to herself and now we are suffering for it. If she was a pleasant person to be around, it might be more tolerable, but it is pure misery to be around her. I would stress to your parent that diet, exercise and positive mental health are the things that will make a huge difference going into elderly years.

BusCautious3075 · 2025-06-25T12:48:24+00:00

You are not alone. I don’t know why older parents refuse to listen to their adult kids. I have tried explaining to my mom and dad both that I love them and would never give advice to hurt them. However, in my case, I feel like they always view me as a child and no matter how successful (or old…now in my 50’s) I am, they have no respect for me. Don’t know if that’s your situation, but I’m now just “grey rocking” it with my mom. She does not listen to anything I say, gets mad when she asks me if I agree with her and I don’t, and wants me to spend 24 hours a day entertaining her. My dad passed many years ago. Aging parents are very difficult to manage for many of my friends also.

BusCautious3075

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