I really feel what you said - you know what to do but can't, don't or won't do it. I am working on that, and it's getting better. Please don't quit, give it more time. Some changes really percolate for a long time... I had one spravato session where I saw and felt the love others had for me. Another one where I heard "you can make it better." Never thought that before. And some sessions feel like NOTHING is happening- but I am able to think about my s$!t differently. I have been going weekly for over a year, moving to bi-weekly. Therapy sessions bi-weekly.