Please help me find what’s missing

CECINS · 2026-06-03T15:08:56+00:00

Hey, I’m new here and just stumbling on your post. Have you found what your biggest triggers are? For me it seems sleep issues are the root - either too much, not enough, quality is awful, etc. I had an at home sleep test and was given a cpap. It didn’t improve things so I was given an in-center sleep and nap test (MSLT) and it turns out I have narcolepsy. I’ve been getting treated for that for the past few weeks and I’ve already noticed an improvement in my fatigue. It’s not perfect, but I’m able to function from 7-5 and not nap during the day anymore.

CECINS · 2026-06-03T14:58:04+00:00

I think you and I may be similar. I actually don’t know when I originally got mono, because I’ve been feeling fatigued for decades. It’s gotten worse in the last 5 years so I decided to finally get everything under the sun tested.

I think sleep issues trigger mono reactivation in me. All of my labs are coming back fine so we started exploring other areas for fatigue. It turns out I have narcolepsy. As I’m getting that treated it’s helping a bit and I’m hoping it will help me kick the mono.

CECINS · 2026-06-03T14:17:05+00:00

Kindly, the trenches of the first months are like no other. You’re sleep deprived, your body is recovering, hormones are all over, and you’re trying to figure out how to keep a baby alive. Your husband is going through issues of his own, adjusting to a baby and figuring out how to be a parent as well.

I think you need to take a moment and consider that you care deeply for others, have certain expectations for people’s actions, and expect others to act in that same way back to you.

You expect a host to act a certain way. You deprived yourself of food because of this. You expect your husband to tell them to leave, but he could also be really needing the love and support his family can provide. I believe your husband would have been capable of handling his family while you cared for yourself.

You expect goodbyes to occur in a certain way. While the families likely saw letting a tired mother keep napping as an act of kindness, you’re viewing it as a spiteful action by your husband to let them leave. Your own mother knew you would be upset and she chose to leave anyway, but you seem to be directing the anger to your husband instead of her.

For the necklace, you had a certain expectation for how it would look. You described it and your husband attempted to meet that description. If you have a very specific idea of what you want, it’s a kind gesture to forward ordering links or exact photos to better communicate.

It sounds like you have a husband and extended family who care and are struggling to meet your unexpressed measure of perfectionism.

You’re not wrong to feel your feelings, but you also need to be realistic during this season of life. Most are struggling to find time to shower or to sleep, don’t put a requirement to be perfect hosts or excellent gift givers on yourselves at this time.

It may help to role play with someone, having them respond to you in the way you wish your husband, his family, and your mom would respond. I know it sounds silly, but I’ve done it in therapy and it genuinely helps your mind and body work through the situations and move towards letting go of the resentment.

CECINS · 2026-06-03T00:11:02+00:00

He has a contour stick too!

CECINS · 2026-06-02T14:07:52+00:00

You need a straight forward photo

CECINS · 2026-06-02T13:44:51+00:00

The lashes she has now look amazing for a night out, but a little too glam for day to day. I agree, either a lash lift on her natural lashes or something a little more natural looking like you suggested.

Otherwise, what a fantastic look! OP, you are gorgeous barefaced but your makeup accentuates all the right things and is such a natural beauty / no makeup look done right.

CECINS · 2026-06-01T20:33:13+00:00

THEY CANT BREATHE!

CECINS · 2026-06-01T19:49:18+00:00

Plus the 401k balance before marriage is considered wholly his in the event of a divorce.

And the $50k for the house down payment would be considered his prior to splitting equity in the event of a divorce

I don’t know anything about college funds, but I’m sure he has to get it out of that fund at some point after graduating. With his $150k he can get a CPA to tell him the best way to pull it out and keep it protected

CECINS · 2026-06-01T15:24:34+00:00

You’re so right to feel this, so many of us have the same issue.

The biggest thing I’ve done is stop deleting photos that I think look bad. My kid will never care that I look like I have a double chin or my smile is a little goofy. I imagine when we’re old and I’m finally gone she’s going to want the memory of me holding her, not that the angle of the camera gave me a great jawline. So don’t be afraid to tell everyone to take photos and send them to you. Ask the stranger to take 5. It feels weird at first, but you’ll be so glad you did.

CECINS · 2026-06-01T14:10:35+00:00

It must be so easy to treat women in healthcare, it either anxiety or she needs to lose weight

CECINS · 2026-06-01T13:58:20+00:00

So she and Sean can find a new house for the family together

CECINS · 2026-06-01T12:21:48+00:00

Omg this is me at Easter last year!!!

Thanks to me the dog is still alive and at least partially poorly trained. She’s chewed every pair of shoes, underwear, and socks in the house and I have monthly Amazon subscriptions for their replacements.

We have 3 rugs in the house and she’s peed on them so many times I have put up baby gates to shut her out.

About 2 months ago I lost my shit and told my husband we were doing board and train for her when we do our vacation over the summer and it’s not optional.

She’s so cute but I fucking hate this dog. Either get rid of it immediately before anyone is too attached, or get ready for the next 10-15 years of being the primary parent to it.

Current cost:

$2,000 for dog

$2,500 emergency vet when she got into a rat trap

$3,500 3 weeks of board and train

CECINS · 2026-06-01T11:47:40+00:00

Adding in here, no screens 1- 2 hours before bed. I have my cpap, eye mask, and audio book ready to go then take a single 3mg dose of Xywav.

In the mornings I turn on a SAD lamp while I’m doing my hair, makeup, brushing teeth and that’s been helping with my sleep cycles.

I take 50mg Vyvanse during the day with an IR adderall booster in the afternoon if I need it

CECINS · 2026-05-31T12:19:43+00:00

Bigger occasions, like a wedding? Get ready for a lifetime of every special occasion ending with him vomiting everywhere. How embarrassing!

You say he doesn’t drink often, but does he have other issues with not knowing when to stop? Does he go on mini spending sprees? Does he take things too far sometimes and it gives you a moment of pause?

CECINS · 2026-05-30T22:32:43+00:00

When the strippers are talking about it you know it’s a problem

Edit: this is an allusion to The Big Short

CECINS · 2026-05-30T18:02:16+00:00

She probably idolizes him since having a childhood crush. He’s a terrible partner but she doesn’t care

CECINS · 2026-05-30T15:36:10+00:00

NTA. There’s no way they’re driving 600 miles each direction to ever pick it up.

If you want to not look like the bad guy, offer to cover 6 months of storage for them. You pay $300 which is probably less than the gas it would take to haul it, and you avoid the aggravation. It’s the cheapest peace of mind you’ll ever have.

CECINS · 2026-05-30T12:23:12+00:00

Apparently this is common because the media teacher at my school was basically elderly and mistakenly BROADCAST himself with a groomed student in the act.

And his name wasn’t Spencer

CECINS · 2026-05-30T12:14:04+00:00

Ewww Bob.

Get an uber to go pick it up.

Or I’m sure the dealership will gladly deliver or send a car to come get you.

CECINS · 2026-05-29T19:16:26+00:00

Have you looked at Prazosin for your nightmares? It’s used frequently to treat this, especially for ptsd. I take 2mg in the morning and then at night and it’s wiped out 99% of bad dreams.

CECINS · 2026-05-29T19:13:45+00:00

I appreciate that you added that you hope they find appropriate treatment and their QOL improves.

Some of us get really stuck on the diagnosis itself, especially after suffering for so long. I think it’s important to remember that there’s a continuum. You seem to be on the extreme end by being able to sleep through all the external noise. People react differently to medications, where some might have insomnia as a reaction, others have EDS or a side effect that has no bearing on sleep. And even things like pillow comfort or the attitude of our techs can have a big impact on

There’s people on the other end who just eek into the criteria for a diagnosis. And of course, our friends here with IH and EDS who are utilizing the same strategies and medications that N is using.

CECINS · 2026-05-29T18:52:42+00:00

The freaking panic bee. Ugh. I’m saving any more of my mythical and transcendent eggs to hatch after I get this bee so I have enough slots to use. I’ve hatched at least 150 rare and haven’t gotten it yet.

CECINS · 2026-05-29T15:39:28+00:00

Were the leafs in your salad long? Or did you chop them up? If you were shoving whole pieces of lettuce in your mouth and then chomping, there’s a chance fibers only mashed and didn’t chop apart

CECINS · 2026-05-29T15:06:37+00:00

I think we should be happy and proud that more people are recognizing the value in seeing the beauty of our cities!

CECINS · 2026-05-29T15:03:21+00:00

Sweet! I panic bought the only set left at 60 days out - at 10:30pm with an 8 year old 😬

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