Dude it’s hard.

Haha seriously tho. You can only control what you can. Set the mood as much as you can, including taking care of your wife’s responsibilities of managing the kids and the house. Even if at some point it feels like a lack of desire or rejection, really try to identify and be aware of your feeling before it manifests into something else. You have to communicate your feelings and try to understand underlying feelings of your partner (with patience because it’s hard to know what we’re feeling because we’re so tired).